杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S05E15
Part 5
Nov. 20, 2020, 3:19 p.m.
You're talking to me. I know you need to
你现在在和我谈 我知道你要处理掉
get rid of this 2017.
这辆2017
It's the end of the month.
已经月底了
I know you haven't made your nut.
你还没完成指标
Okay, I'll give you the original deal.
好吧 就原来那款车
The one from the e-mail.
邮件说的那个
You'll do better.
不止这样
I want bluetooth.
我要蓝牙
I want voice activation.
我要声控启动
Oh, god! No, no! No, no, no, no, no! No!
我的天 不不不 不要
Whoa! Okay, okay... Okay-kay-kay...
好好好 没问题
I want to feel like I'm driving a spaceship.
我要感觉是在开一架航♥天♥飞船
Anything you want. That's impressive.
什么都可以 太厉害了
Oh, that was impressive.
好厉害
You're really good at this, Jess. Really good.
你真的很在行 杰茜 太棒了
Now for you two, Jokers.
现在到你俩了 蠢货
I'm sorry I went rogue, Jess.
很抱歉我没听你的 杰茜
I'm sorry, too.
我也是
You told me not to come, but I did.
你让我别来 可我来了
Don't apologize to me.
别和我道歉
Talk to each other.
你俩互相解决
Figure out a way to both be in my life.
想个办法同时生活在我身边
Otherwise, I'm gonna turn the heat up to 90.
不然我把空调调到32度
I'm gonna turn the radio to pink.
把广播开到最大
And I am going to find a cobblestone street.
然后我找一条鹅卵石路开过去
Oh, no, please don't. I gotta go to the bathroom.
求你别这样 我要去厕所
Shut up, Billy!
比利闭嘴
You have a little boy's name.
你这名字真幼稚
You are so mean!
你嘴太毒了
Now solve it.
现在解决
Deal with your emotions.
处理好你们的情绪
Jess, you don't get it.
杰茜 你不明白
The stuff between Sam and I is deep guy stuff.
我和萨姆之前是纯爷们的事
It's untalkable.
说不出来的
That's right. I punched him twice.
没错 我揍了他两次
And I stole his girlfriend.
我撬了他的女朋友
We're talking about adultery and violence.
这是通奸和暴♥力♥
That part of the male brain has not been civilized.
男性的大脑这部分还没开♥发♥出来
So you're just gonna feud forever?
所以你们以后就一直争执不休了
I'll teach my sons to hate his sons
我会教我的儿子去恨他的儿子
and I expect the same from him.
我希望他也会
You got it. Thank you.
没问题 谢谢
If you insist on hating each other,
如果你们继续怨恨彼此
do it while I'm not around.
在我不在的时候这么做
The moment I walk in the room,
当我走进屋时
I want some convincing dude on dude friendship stuff.
我要看到你们哥俩非常的友好
I want high-fives.
你们要举手击掌
I want golf tips.
讨论高尔夫技巧
When a hot waitress walks by,
火♥辣♥的女服务生走过时
I want to see a real nudge-nudge.
你俩要互相调侃
Keep your hands on the wheel!
手不要离开方向盘
Easy! Jess!
小心点 杰茜
I can do it if he can.
他行我就行
I can do it even if he can't do it.
他不行我也行
Are you wearing a fake mustache?
你的胡子是假的
Yeah.
没错
Thanks for coming to my annulment, guys.
谢谢你俩来参加我离婚仪式
Yeah, well, we should get to know your ex-wife.
我们应该更了解一下你的前妻
Yeah, like, did she make that mask of my face,
没错 比如我的那个面具是她做的
or does she have a mask guy?
还是她有个专门面具的人
Rhonda's in here.
兰达在里面
Is it weird that I'm a little nervous?
我有点紧张 是不是很奇怪
Yes. Yeah.
是的 没错
Rhonda.
兰达
Will you make me the most hilarious man
你愿意做我的前妻吗
in the world by being my ex...
让我成为这个世界上最搞笑的男人
Come on! Rhonda's a boy! Rhonda's a boy!
不是吧 兰达是男的
You ain't rhonda.
你不是兰达
Winston Bishop? Yyyes.
温斯顿·毕夏普 是我
I'm supposed to play you this.
我要给你看这个
Winston, I think we should postpone our annulment.
温斯顿 我想我们应该推迟离婚
Until you put the pieces of your mind back together.
直到你想清楚了
I wish I could see your face right now.
我真想看看你现在的表情
But I can't,
但我看不到
Because I got called up for duty.
我要出任务
Bye-bye, hubby.
拜拜 老公
That's...
这真是
Wait, so we're still married.
慢着 那我们还没离婚
Yeah.
是的
But then how... But then how you gon...
那你怎么 那你怎么能
We were... We were co-pranksters.
我们是恶作剧搭档
How you gonna prank your co-prankster?
你怎么能恶搞搭档呢
Hmm... I get it.
我明白了
I finally get the prank now, man.
我明白这个恶作剧了
You got Rhonda'd.
你被兰达整到了
I made Billy my baby.
我把比利变成我的宝宝了
I made that little bitch a bottle, right guys?
我给了那贱♥人♥一壶 对吧
You did a great job, honey. You did awesome.
干得漂亮 你太棒了
What a terrific hybrid vehicle.
这混合动力车太棒了
I'm glad that the previous owner
我很高兴前任车主
scraped off all the "Co-exist" bumper stickers.
把"共存"的车尾贴都撕掉了
So I have no options.
所以我别无选择
I have no options. Okay, well...
我没有选择 好吧
Sleep with both eyes open, you idiot.
睡觉最好把双眼都睁着 白♥痴♥
It's one eye, you idiot.
是一只眼 你个白♥痴♥
Cut your chance in half, you idiot. Idiot.
那机会就只有一半了 白♥痴♥ 白♥痴♥
Hey, don't bill me for this.
这通电♥话♥别收钱
Sorry, that was my divorce lawyer. What?!
抱歉 是我离婚律师 什么
Yeah, it's been a day. So I got married.
没错 已经一天了 我结婚了
Then my wife was shipped overseas.
我老婆出国了
And I remain married.
我还处于已婚状态
What? Who? When? How? What?
什么 谁 什么时候 怎么回事
Yeah, he married Rhonda. As a prank.
他和兰达结婚了 是个恶作剧
Wait, you're really married, Winston?
慢着 你真的结婚了 温斯顿
I-I'm not sure I understand the prank.
我好像没明白这个恶作剧
The prank is, is that Winston's on the hook
恶作剧就是温斯顿接下来六个月
to send care packages to Germany for the next six months.
都要往德国寄爱心包裹
Rhonda'd.
被兰达整到了
Guys, let's just celebrate how hilarious my situation is,
各位 我们为这么搞笑的时刻庆祝一下
And in a very real way,
讲真的
don't tell my mama.
别告诉我妈
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