杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S05E12
Part 1
Nov. 20, 2020, 3:18 p.m.
Advice on these wedding invites.
给点请柬的建议
I like calligraphy option number two,
我喜欢第二种的字体
it looks like a Bone Thugs album.
看上去像骨头帮的专辑
This looks like an ad for a bone company.
倒是像给骨头公♥司♥打的广♥告♥
I like option one better.
我更喜欢第一种
You know what would be nice?
你知道什么才好吗
A wedding invitation engraved on a plate.
刻在金属板上的婚礼请柬
What a magical wedding that would be.
那会是场多么神奇的婚礼啊
You two are imbeciles.
你们俩是白♥痴♥
Anybody with taste and sophistication
任何一个有品位有修养的人
would always choose option number two.
都会选第二种
Are you okay?
你还好吗
You look gray.
你脸色有些苍白
I didn't sleep.
我没睡觉
I was up preparing for an epic day of wedding decisions.
熬夜为决定结婚的大日子做准备
I'm calling it D-Day.
我要称之为"定日"
Of course, in this situation,
当然 在这种情况下
the "D" stands for "Decisions,"
"定"是"决定"的简称
and unlike the other D-Day,
不像其它的"定日"
it will not be a walk on the beach.
不会是在沙滩上走走那么简单
That's incredibly offensive.
真是太无礼了
I know.
我知道
Do you guys remember
你们还记得
that audition I had for gas station TV?
我去加油站电视的那次试镜吗
Well, the girl they hired went missing
他们招的那个姑娘不见了
and they need me to fill in! What?
然后他们要我替她 什么
Oh, my God, we're gonna be friends with a gas celebrity!
天呐 我们要成为加油站名人的朋友啦
That's right!
没错
But it is today,
但是要我今天去
and I know you need my help with the wedding stuff...
我知道你需要我帮忙张罗结婚的事
Cece, what are you talking about? Are you crazy?
希希 你在说什么呢 你疯了吗
You have to go to this.
这个你一定要去
I can do it all by my... by myself.
我完全可以自己一个人来
Are you okay?
你还好吗
Wow, your mouth has been open forever.
你的嘴都合不上了
Okay, this is crazy. I'm just gonna stay home.
好吧这太疯狂了 我还是待在家吧
No, Cece, you have to go, please. It's... it's...
不希希 你一定要去 这 这
Okay. I'll be fine. I'll be fine.
好吧 我没事的 我没事的
I can help with wedding stuff.
结婚的事我可以帮忙
Just lighten the load a little bit.
只是减轻一点负担
Sometimes I think
有时候我会觉得
I was bred in a lab to help people.
我是养在实验室里专门帮助别人的
You know what else they bred in the lab?
你知道养在那个实验室里的还有什么吗
Pugs.
哈巴狗
Thank you, Jess. That would be great.
谢谢你 杰茜 那样就太好了
Uh, no, Cece.
不 希希
I don't have time to bring her up to speed.
我没时间给她跟进到最新情况
Throwing her into the fray now
现在把她拉进来
would be like putting a baby on a treadmill.
就像是把一个婴儿放到跑步机上一样
She would... just shoot off.
她会直接被甩飞的
Baby, you're just being protective of the wedding, okay?
亲爱的 你对这场婚礼的保护欲太强了
Jess is just gonna help.
杰茜只是来帮忙
She's not gonna take over.
她不会全盘接手的
Jess...
杰茜
What's happening here?
所以到底怎么说
Fine.
好吧
Who's excited?
太激动了
There we go.
好了
Ooh, FYI, you may have to wrestle
还有 你也许得给他
a rectal nutrient into him.
灌直肠营养液
Wait, what? You're right. Not your job.
等等 什么 没错 这不该让你来
I've done it before.
这事我以前干过
I mean, I didn't like it, but...
我是说 我并不喜欢 但是...
I did it.
我还是干了
Am I proud of it? No.
我为此而骄傲吗 不
Did I do it? Yes.
但是我♥干♥了吗 是的
Have I done it again since? No.
在那之后我还干过吗 没有
There's tons to do today,
今天要做的事有一大堆
so we're going to have to split up.
所以我们要分工
I have to be here for a tux fitting
我得在这儿试穿礼服
and a meeting with a napkin ring genius.
还要见一个做餐巾套环的天才
Gonna be fine.
没问题
There's chairs to be picked and...
还要挑椅子 还要...
cakes to be tasted.
试吃蛋糕
Schmidt? Are you asleep?
施密特 你睡着了吗
What?!
什么
No, I'm not sleeping, of course I'm not sleeping!
没有 我没睡着 我当然没睡着
Just tons... too much to do today to sleep.
只是今天有太多事要做没法睡
Jess...
杰茜
this is the most important thing that I own.
这是我最重要的东西
It is the wedding flash drive.
这是婚礼的闪存盘
Everything that you need to know is on this.
你要了解的所有事都在这上面
It's color-coded.
用彩色标记过了
Ooh, color-coded. Gimme.
彩色标记 给我
Please do not reach for it
伸手拿这个的时候
like you're Winston reaching for someone's breast.
别像温斯顿伸手摸别人胸一样
Treat it with respect.
对它放尊重点
I will, and I just want to say
我会的 我只是想说
I'm honored you're trusting me.
很荣幸你信任我
Oh, I'm not.
我并没有
Everything I see is terrible.
我看到的一切都很糟糕
Pan left.
镜头往左
This one's nice.
这张不错
Comfortable, but not too comfortable.
舒服 但又不舒服得过头
We want people to dance. Folding chairs?
我们想让大家跳舞 折叠椅
Jess, if I wanted my wedding to be an AA meeting,
杰茜 如果我想要我的婚礼变成戒酒会
I would've called my Aunt Terry.
我就叫泰瑞阿姨来了
I don't think you want to marry this guy.
你还是别嫁给这个男人了
Who is that?
那是谁啊
Oh, finally.
终于来了啊
Winston,
温斯顿
where have you been?
你去哪儿了
I've been waiting an hour.
我都等了一个小时了
Work was crazy, okay?
工作忙死了
I busted a poker room,
我捣毁了一家赌场
which was a front for a crack house,
它正好在一个毒品站的前面
which was a front for a brothel.
毒品站前面又是一家妓院
It was a crime turducken.
简直就是犯罪集中营
This is the third time you've stood me up.
这是你第三次放我鸽子了
Meat lunch is our oldest and proudest tradition.
午饭吃肉是我们最悠久最自豪的传统
Let's do this every year for the rest of our lives.
我们余生每年都进行一次吧
I'm gonna be a lawyer.
我长大要当律师
Let's eat.
我们吃饭去吧
I can't. I had an hour, I gotta go back to work.
不行 我只有一小时 还得回去工作
I mean...
我说...
You know, it's a... it's a bar
那可是个酒吧
in the middle of the day. Like, who's there?
大中午的 谁会去那儿
Why are they there? Why do you need to be there?
没人会去那儿 所以你干嘛回去
'Cause it's my job.
因为这是我的工作
It runs itself. It's basically a big-ass fridge.
你不在照样营业 就像个超大冰箱
I'm a bartender and owner.
我既是酒保 又是店主
You know how many balls I have to juggle now?
你知道我现在忙成什么样吗
Man, those are baby balls.
像小孩扮家家酒
I'm a cop.
我是个警♥察♥
I spend my day working the city's balls.
我每天都在保卫人♥民♥保卫党
Listen to yourself. Those balls are big.
听听你自己 保家卫国的大事
Listen to yourself.
听听你自己
I'm listening to myself, Nick.
我耳朵没聋 尼克
Your balls, in comparison to my balls,
你的工作 跟我的相比
that you have to deal with, that I have to handle...
都是鸡毛蒜皮的小事 而我要处理...
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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