心跳（2016）

Heartbeat S01E07

Part 4 Aug. 27, 2020, 8:17 a.m.

我没有异议因为我只想要你
And I was okay with that, because I wanted you.
无论如何我想和你在一起
On whatever terms, I wanted you.
然后呢
Okay, but now?
你说你怀孕了的时候我看见她了
The minute you said you were pregnant, I saw her.
谁
Who?
我们的女儿
Our daughter.
我把她搂在怀里
I'm holding her in my arms.
她有你的笑容和眼睛
She's got your smile, your eyes.
还有我的秀发
She's got my great hair.
她因为我吧唧嘴而冲我吼
She yelled at me for making smacky sounds.
她很漂亮
She's beautiful.
如果你已经给她起好了名字
If you tell me you named her...
你的患者有麻烦了
Your patient's in trouble.
我们用了新的3D胸部扫描技术
We used your new 3D breast tomography--
图像很清晰顺便说一声
Great images, by the way.
她的另一侧乳♥房♥♥出现了病变
She's got a suspicious lesion on the other breast
之前的拍片没有检查出来
that the digital mammogram missed.
我对两侧进行了活检
I biopsied both sides,
均出现了浸润性导管癌
and they both came back with invasive ductal carcinoma.
低分化
Poorly differentiated.
基因测试显示她有乳腺癌易感基因突变
Her genetic testing shows she has a BRCA gene mutation.
她在基因上是个男性
She's genetically male,
BRCA 1和2基因在男性身上
and the BRCA 1 and 2 gene in men
会增加患乳腺癌的几率
increases the risk of breast cancer.
我建议两侧乳♥房♥♥切除术
I'm gonna recommend a bilateral mastectomy.
当然
Yeah, of course.
考虑到这个病极具侵袭性
Because of the aggressive nature of the disease
以及肿瘤的大小
and the tumor size.
我会跟她沟通
I'll talk to her.
要我来做吗
You want me to do it?
她是我的患者谢谢
She's my patient, thank you.
做得不错
Good work.
亚历克丝现在就去
Alex, do it now.
你要切除我的乳♥房♥♥
You want to cut off my breasts
在胸口留下长长的疤痕
and leave scars across my chest?
你还可以做乳♥房♥♥重建和植入伊娃
There are reconstructive surgeries and implants, Ava.
我吃的荷尔蒙可以让乳♥房♥♥再生吗
Will the hormones that I take allow me to grow my natural breasts back?
不能
No.
-那些荷尔蒙你必须停了 -什么
- I mean, the hormones, you have to stop taking them. - What?
荷尔蒙会加速癌症在体内的扩散
Hormones can accelerate the growth of cancers in the body.
荷尔蒙不会导致癌症
Hormones don't cause cancer.
不会当然不会
No. Emphatically, no.
但是我们发现
But what we found,
它可能在你身体转化之前就存在了
it could've already existed before you began the transition.
继续使用可能加速癌症的恶化
Continued use could accelerate growth of cancer.
做什么都不值得那样
Nothing is worth that.
我很抱歉伊娃
I'm sorry, Ava.
我们会安排一个逐步的切除
We'll manage a gradual withdrawal,
但是你不能再使用荷尔蒙激素了
but you need to stop using hormones.
你这是在让我放弃女人的身份
You're telling me to give up my identity as a woman.
我是在告诉你我们能与之斗争并赢过它
I'm telling you we can fight this and win.
赢什么
Win what?
没有荷尔蒙我会失去细腻柔软的皮肤
Without my hormones, I don't have my soft skin,
失去身材曲线那样我就不再是个女人了
I don't have my roundness, I will not be a woman anymore.
你必须得这么做
You need to do this.
-好的 -然后呢
- Okay. - So?
有很多种选择
There are a lot of possibilities.
这是小丑车吗
Is that a clown car?
-是宇宙飞船 -宇宙飞船
- Spaceship. - Spaceship.
我不确定如果是你会选什么
I don't know, what would you choose?
拜托你是个纹身师
Come on, you're a tattoo artist.
我想听你的专业意见
I want your professional opinion.
所以说业余爱好者应该
This is why amateurs should not get ink
在仔细思考之后再纹身
without using their mind or their spirit.
人生无常啊
Whoa, this took a turn, all right.
身体艺术是你最自我的表述
Body art is the most - personal statement you can make.
你在肉体上记述
You're writing on your flesh
向世人展示你刻入骨血的一面
to tell the world something indelible about yourself.
而那不该由另一个人来告诉你
You don't ask another person what that should be.
这个毛利人纹身
This Maori tattoo,
代表一个新西兰的男孩儿
a boy from New Zealand.
这些带叶子的花代表我一个早逝的表亲
These bougainvilleas, a cousin I lost too soon.
这个蠢蠢的金鱼代表戏剧夏令营
This stupid goldfish, summer theater camp.
我对任何事都不后悔尤其是我犯下的过错
I regret nothing, especially my mistakes.
你的圆礼帽
Your bowler hat?
有些东西深深触动了你让你想要记录它
Something touched you so deeply that you wanted a record of it,
所以你写在了身体上
so you wrote it on your body.
不是用荧光笔而是用墨水
Not in glitter, but in ink.
永恒的墨水
Permanent ink.
现在你想要改了吗
Now you want to change that?
我们找找你更渴望的东西
Let's find the thing that you want more,
再把它记录在你的身体上
and we'll write that on your body.
知道吗没几个治疗师
You know, not a lot of therapists
会让我在投篮的时候休息
would let me have a session while shooting hoops.
我也发现
I discovered
这是跟我的继子沟通的最好方式
it was the best way for my stepson to talk to me, too.
我不知道你还有过儿子呢
I didn't know you had a son.
特雷文是我前妻初婚时生的
Trevon was from my ex-wife's first marriage.
我们分开之后她就不让我见他了
After we split, she wouldn't let me see him.
这个女人有的是办法掏空我的口袋
The woman has no problem cleaning out my pockets
送他去私立学校
to pay for his private school.
抱歉我一点儿也不知道
Sorry, I had no idea.
他是个好孩子所以我乐意
He's a good kid, so I deal.
在你结婚之前
Well, before your marriage,
成为一个父亲对你来说有多重要
how important was being a father to you?
在它成为事实前我无法想象
Hmm, I couldn't imagine it before it happened.
而现在我想象不出没有儿子的生活了
Now I can't imagine my life any other way.
我错过了什么吗
Am I missing something?
我会后悔没要孩子吗
Am I gonna regret not having kids?
那是我要问你的问题
That's the question I should ask you.
帮我个忙别问
Do me a favor and don't.
亚历克丝有可能改主意吗
Any chance of Alex changing her mind?
你改主意的可能性又有多大
What are the chances of you changing yours?
马克斯你收到我的信息了
Max, you got my message.
谢谢你过来我需要所有能寻求到的帮助
Thanks for coming. I need all the help I can get
来劝伊娃动手术
convincing Ava to have the surgery.
你上次跟她说话是什么时候
Oh, uh, when was the last time you talked to her?
今天下午
This afternoon.
发生了什么
What's going on?
不需要有任何手术了
There's not going to be any surgery.
-伊娃 -我懂
- Ava... - I get it.
我会在年轻时死去这并不美妙
I'm gonna die young and it's not gonna be pretty.
但我会作为一个女人死去
But I'm gonna die the woman I was born to be.
你能跟她谈谈吗
Will you talk to her?
-你以为我没有试过吗 -我不明白
- You think I haven't tried? - I don't understand.
如果你还肯带我回家
If your offer to take me home still stands,
我要走了
I'd like to go.
我第一次不相信你是个女人
You know, for the first time, I don't believe you're a woman.
什么
Excuse me?
作为一个女人对你来说意味着什么
What does being a woman mean to you?
你有什么资格说这话
You have no idea how entitled you are.
好吧也许但是我的性别
Okay, maybe. But owning my gender identity
跟头发化妆或者衣服都没有关系
has nothing to do with hair or makeup or clothes.
那只是变装
That's drag.
你是在把变性比作变装吗
Did you just compare trans to drag?
我只是说真正的女人会战斗
All I'm saying is real women fight.
真正的女人会承受痛苦去迎接新的一天
Real women endure hardship to live another day.
你想拥有你女人的身份
You want to own your identity as a woman?
留下来跟我一起战斗
Stay with me and fight.
我不在乎你能不能理解
I don't care what you do or you don't understand.