同妻俱乐部（2015）

Grace and Frankie S03E04

Part 3 Sept. 18, 2020, 9:19 a.m.

Would you please stand up here for a moment?
你能站上来一下吗
Don't make her stand up.
别让她站起来
I'd like everyone to pay attention
我想请大家
to what we're dealing with here.
都注意看
First, the loose fabric, very easy to grab.
首先宽松布料很好抓住
The clogs make it virtually impossible to run away.
而穿了木屐几乎无法逃脱
They have springs.
上面有弹簧
If she had a ponytail, she'd be a prowler's delight.
如果她梳了马尾辫就是小偷的首选目标
What is this, a roast?
这是吐槽大会吗
Officer, questionable wardrobe choices aside,
警官先不说她值得怀疑的衣着打扮
Frankie is a lot less vulnerable than she looks.
弗兰琦不像看上去那么弱不禁风
I mean, in fact, she's extremely vigilant.
事实上她很警惕的
Really? Absolutely.
是吗是的
I've heard her give out
她进入课堂后
her home address at least three times since she got here.
我听到她至少三次说出了自己的家庭住址
Fair enough. I'm not safe anywhere.
好吧我在哪都不安全
You'd be safe with old Mel Cordray.
你跟老梅尔·科雷会安全的
Look, you seem like you're a lot of fun
听着你似乎很有意思
and obviously I want to hear all about this grocery bus,
显然我很想了解你们的购物大巴
but this is not the time and this is not the place.
但现在时机场合不合适
I really miss the kindergartners.
我好怀念给幼儿园的孩子上课
Officer, my friend is upset
警官我的朋友很沮丧
because we had a home invasion and were robbed.
因为我们家刚被人侵入打劫了
Isn't there anything you can do to put her mind at ease?
你就不能想想办法让她安下心来吗
Yes, that. That. I want to hear all about that.
是的这个我想听听
Okay. The key there
好吧关键
is to make it look like somebody's always home.
是要让人以为家里一直有人
Yes, always home. Never leaving. Got it.
一直有人再不离家了知道了
A burglar is 90 percent less likely to enter the home
强盗如果认为家里有人醒着
if they think that someone is awake.
入侵可能就会降低90%
We've got to be awake constantly.
我们得时刻保持清醒
So here are some things you can do to create the illusion
以下是一些你们可以用来制♥造♥
that someone is always awake.
一直有人在家的假象的手段
Of course. That makes more sense.
当然这样更合理
You can leave a light on.
可以开着灯
You can install a motion detector light.
可以装动作探测灯
You can leave a TV on low when you go to bed.
去睡觉时可以开着电视调低声音
Another thing you could do
另外一个可以考虑的办法
is leave a large pair of men's boots outside the front door.
就是在前门口摆放一双很大号♥的男靴
That gives the appearance that there's a man at home.
会让人以为家里有男人
What if we come face to face with an intruder in the house?
如果我们在家恰好撞见了入侵者呢
Well, it's extremely important
那么你们千万
that you do not try to engage the intruder physically.
不要企图跟入侵者肉搏
At your advanced age,
以各位的年纪
you're not going to be able to win a hand-to-hand fight.
你们徒手是搏不过对方的
Why not? What about adrenaline?
为什么肾上腺素激增呢
I mean, what about women who pick up a car to save a child?
不是有女人为了救孩子能举起车来吗
Yeah, well, I think that ship has pretty much sailed.
嗯对你们而言那个阶段基本上是过去了
If somebody has entered your home,
如果有人闯进了你家
the first thing you want to do is say your full name very loud.
首先你们要大声报出全名
Frankie Bergstein!
弗兰琦·伯格斯丁
Then your best bet is to go ahead and soil yourself.
然后最好的办法是尿裤子
Excuse me?
什么
What if you don't have to go? Oh, you'll have to go.
如果你没尿呢你肯定会想尿的
Soil my-- Soil myself?
尿裤子
It's not pretty, but it's the most proven and effective method
虽然很没面子但这是被证实最有效的
to ensure that an attacker will not want to touch you.
确保袭击者不会想碰你的办法
Soil myself.
尿裤子
Speaking of... Excuse me.
说到这个失陪一下
Soil myself. It would just be for once.
尿裤子就那么一次
Did Janet Reno finally accept Frankie's dinner invitation?
珍妮特·里诺终于接受弗兰琦的邀请来吃晚餐了吗
No, no. Those are because of the class that you guys took.
不是那是因为你们上的课
I think it was supposed to be men's shoes,
好像本该是放男鞋
but, uh, Mom thought that was too heteronormative.
但妈妈认为那太主流思想了
Guys, I was going to hire someone to fix that.
两位我本想雇人来修的
No, we YouTubed how to fix a pane of glass. It's good as new.
不用我们上Youtube学了修玻璃片完好如初了
Plus, Mom is convinced
再说我妈坚信
that the entire handyman industry is a scam
整个杂务工行业就是骗人的
for thieves to gain access into your house.
是为了让贼人进入家门
Do either of you foresee
你们觉得
your mother returning to any level of normalcy soon?
你们的妈妈能尽快恢复正常吗
Define "normalcy."
什么叫"正常"
Where is she? She's right here.
她在哪儿这里
Frankie, we said no booby traps.
弗兰琦我们说好不设陷阱的
This is gonna be much better than any booby trap.
这可比陷阱好多了
Boys, thanks for installing our new TVs.
小伙子们谢谢给我们装新电视
One's upside down but I can fix it.
有一个装反了但我能弄好
I told you it was upside down. Shut the fuck up.
我就说你装反了闭嘴
So you're feeling better? I am.
你好点了是的
Great. So what are we doing with all that?
太好了我们要拿那个做什么
Oh, this? This is just to weigh her down.
这个吗这只是增加重量的
What?
什么
You do have memorable hair.
你的头发真的很别致
Sol, how do you do it? The crust is fluffy and crunchy.
索尔你怎么做到的这硬皮又酥又脆
You have really outdone yourself.
你真的超水平发挥了
You don't have to go overboard with compliments.
你不用夸得那么大啦
You didn't cast me in the play and now I'm co-hosting drinkies.
你没选我做演员现在我在主持酒会
It's awkward.
挺尴尬的
Only if we talk about it more.
除非我们老提才尴尬
All right. What do you want to talk about?
好吧那你想聊什么
God, it's still awkward, isn't it?
天呐还是挺尴尬的是吧
Let's go join the others! Okay.
我们去加入其他人吧好
No, no. Gwen Verdon did not win a Tony
不不格温·韦尔东1966年没有凭
for Sweet Charity in 1966.
《生命的旋律》赢得托尼奖
I think it's Ver-don.
应该是韦顿吧
It's Verdon. Look it up, please.
是韦尔东你去查吧
Angela Lansbury won that year for Mame.
那年获奖的是《曼恩》的安杰拉·兰斯伯里
Wait, I thought she had four.
等等她不是四次获奖吗
She did.
是啊
Can-Can, Damn Yankees, New Girl in Town,
《康康舞》《洋基佬》《新来的女孩》
and Redhead.
还有《红发女人》
Come on. Give me a real challenge.
得了有点挑战性好不好
Let's try Zero Mostel or Patti LuPon.
试试泽洛·莫斯戴尔或帕蒂·鲁邦
It's LuPone. Look it up.
是鲁伯恩去查
You're unbelievable. Sol, I hope you know how lucky you are
真是难以置信索尔知道你多么幸运吗
to live with someone with this kind of information at his fingertips.
跟知识储备这么丰富的人住在一起
I try not to bore Sol with my gift.
我尽量不用我的天赋让索尔厌烦
I'm never bored. Confused, sometimes.
我不会厌烦有时候会糊涂
And often wondering how Grace never figured out he was gay
还会怀疑格蕾丝怎么这么多年来
for all those years.
就没发现他是基佬
Wait. Who's Grace?
等等格蕾丝是谁
Grace is Grace Kelly.
格蕾丝格蕾丝·凯利
Star of High Society, 1956.
《上流社会》 1956年
Musical version of The Philadelphia Story.
《费城故事》的音乐剧版
And also Robert's wife of 40 years.
也是罗伯特40年的妻子
I'm sorry, what?
什么
You were married?
你结过婚
To a woman?
跟女人结婚
We both were. Can I get a refill?
我们都结过能再给我倒点酒吗
You guys don't know this?
你们不知道这事吗
Robert, how did this not come up in share circle?
罗伯特你怎么会没跟大家分享这事
Or at least how did this not come up in drunk share circle?
至少喝了酒后怎么都没说过
I guess I wasn't drunk enough. You were pretty drunk.
我猜我还不够醉你喝得很醉的
We neither of us really lead with it.
我们虽然不会整天把这事挂在嘴边
But there it is.
但事实就是这样
Let's get into it.
我们说说吧
This is why I don't bring Jeff to drinkies.
所以我才从不带杰夫参加酒会
Tell us everything!
全部告诉我们
Hey, girl! Oh, no, no, no.
妹子不不
Frankie, don't even think about getting into this bed.
弗兰琦想都别想上我的床