废柴联盟（2009）

Community S04E12

Part 3 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:51 a.m.

Okay, this has to go to me,
这奖肯定是我的
Because I am most likely to succeed.
因为我最有可能成功
It's just a fact. You guys know.
这是个事实这人人都知道
And the winner is...
得奖者是
Troy Barnes.
特洛伊·巴恩斯
You have got to be kidding me!
没搞错吧
Troy Barnes, most likely to succeed?
特洛伊·巴恩斯最有可能成功
I'm the damn valedictorian and head of student council
我是年级第一名学生会主席
and president of campus crusade for Christ.
学园传道会主席
And I'm Jewish!
我还是犹太人
And you are just some mindless robot.
你不过是无脑的机器人
You just go wherever they tell you to run.
人家告诉你往哪你就往哪跑
I'm sorry.
抱歉
Do you go to my school?
你在我的学校上学吗
Pop! Pop!
噼里啪啦砰
Your words cut me more than hundreds of
你中伤了我伤害程度比
non-tempered glass shards could.
成百上千的非钢化玻璃碎片还深
I had six different reconstructive surgeries.
我做了六次整容手术
I went through withdrawal.
我经历了退学
I had to smile when I didn't feel like smiling.
不想笑的时候我得挤出笑容
That hurts my face.
笑得脸疼
Can we all just stop dredging up the past?
我们能别关联过去了吗
The only thing your fate web thing does
你的命运网只做了一件事
is point out how fragile our happiness is.
那就是指出我们的快乐有多脆弱
If only Jeff hadn't defended that woman,
如果杰夫没有为那女人辩护
if only Andre hadn't met her after I left the restaurant,
如果安德烈没有在我离开餐馆后去见她
if only I didn't have to pick up my kids at the mall, I...
如果我没去商场接孩子们
Wait.
等等
When? Which mall?
什么时候哪家商场
Oh, my God.
老天
Oh, my God.
天啊
What movie you guys gonna see?
你们要看哪部电影
The Phantom Menace. It's kind of old.
《星战前传1：魅影危机》老片子
And why do you wanna see it?
你们为什么想看这部
Because we like Star Wars.
因为我们喜欢《星球大战》
Okay, if you like Star Wars,
如果你们喜欢《星球大战》
why do you wanna murder it and urinate on its grave?
为什么会想杀死它然后在它坟墓上尿尿呢
The prequels are terrible.
前传非常坑爹
I mean, seriously, wouldn't Chewbacca, at some point,
我是说难道楚巴卡不会演着演着
go, "Hey, Yoda, I know that guy"?
冒出一句"尤达我认识那家伙"吗
He has double light sabers.
他拿着双光剑
That's stupid. You're both stupid.
太蠢了你们太蠢了
Well, why are you here to see the movie?
那你为什么要看这部电影呢
I'm not.
我不看
I go wherever it plays to warn people.
我四处在放映这片的地方警告别人
You've been warned.
我警告过你们了
Stranger said what to him?
陌生人跟他说了什么
Okay, fine. I'll come get you.
好我过去接你们
I'm sorry, baby, I'll be back as soon as I can.
抱歉宝贝我去去就回
Okay, just stand there, okay?
站在那别动
This can't be.
不可能
I don't see why I have to go to a therapist.
我搞不懂我为什么要看心理医生
Because after that woman chewed them out for three hours,
因为在那女人跟影院抱怨了三个小时后
the theater got a restraining order against you.
影院对你申请了禁令
Yalla.
进来吧
Hey, doc. By the way,
医生顺便说一句
Someone just stole your prescription pad.
有人把你的处方本偷走了
I'm trying to liberate you!
我是想解放你
You're the crazy man at the mall!
你是商场的疯子
You're the one who got me busted for drugs!
我吸毒被捕都是因为你
You were out there somewhere and you weren't looking for me?
你跟他们各自交集居然都没来找我
In fairness, Annie,
公平地讲安妮
running through a glass door might've been the drug tip-off.
撞碎玻璃门就是变相表明自己吸毒了
All this time, I wondered what it was
长久以来我都在想
that brought our group together.
是什么使我们凑到一起
But I forgot one thing all heroes need.
但是我忘了所有英雄都需要的东西
They need an enemy.
他们需要一个敌人
Batman has the Joker,
蝙蝠侠有小丑
The Justice League has the Legion of Doom,
正义联盟有末日军团
and this study group... has me.
这个学习小组有我
I'm the supervillain. Why didn't I see it before?
我是超级反派我怎么就没看出来呢
I'm emotionless, logical, smarter than everybody else.
我无情无义极度理性比所有人都聪明
I tried sawing off Jeff's arm.
我试过锯掉杰夫的胳膊
Why do you keep saying that?
你怎么总这么说
I should go. It's not safe to be around me.
我得走了跟我待在一起不安全
I'm just as bad.
我也是坏人
I couldn't handle the monkey,
我搞不定猴子
so I traded it in for a glaucoma brownie,
于是拿它换了大♥麻♥饼干
even though I knew if it bit someone,
尽管我知道如果它咬了人
it would make them a teensy bit psychotic.
会使人变得疯狂
Britta's right.
布雷塔说的对
We've all made some bad decisions.
我们都干过错事
And if you really wanna know who the villain is here,
如果你真想知道坏人是谁
it's me.
其实是我
Yeesh, I didn't think it was possible
老天我以为你身上不可能
to put more glitter on.
涂上更多的亮片了
It's coming off of you like Pig-pen.
还不断从你身上往下掉跟"小乒乓"似的
Well, some people seem to like it.
闪闪惹人爱啦
This married guy just gave me his phone number.
那个有妇之夫刚刚把电♥话♥号♥码给我了
Can you believe his wife left him on their anniversary?
他妻子在结婚周年纪念日那天抛弃了他哦
You gonna call him?
你会联♥系♥他吗
I mean, he did just win a bunch of money.
他刚赢了一笔钱
I don't know though.
我不知道
You don't know what? You're not married.
你不知道你又没结婚
You gotta grab what you want in this life.
生活嘛想要什么就去拿
That's the way it works.
这样才行
Someone just took something important from me.
有人刚刚夺走了我最重要的东西
And you know what?
你知道吗
I admire him for it.
我敬佩他
All right, I mean, I guess I'll go talk to him.
好吧我去跟他聊聊
You do that. And I'm gonna go get
去吧我要去喝醉一场
"Crap On Other People's Lawns" drunk.
醉到"在别人草坪上便便"那种程度
To a memorable evening for both of us.
以此纪念你我这难忘的夜晚
Maybe you coincidentally affected some of us.
也许你恰巧影响了我们
But I actively endorsed pain.
但是我启动了痛苦的齿轮
I was the bad guy, and...
我才是那个坏人而
I'd like to think I'm not that guy anymore.
但我想我现在已经洗心革面了
Also, and I hate to bring this up,
我还有一件不堪回首的记忆
you did once make me pee myself.
你有次让我尿裤子了
Well, I guess we're even then.
我们扯平了
I might finish studying at home.
我回家学习去了
Just ten minutes ago,
十分钟前
I would've been so excited about that peeing thing.
我会为尿裤子那事激动万分的
I want to make a prequel, and I ruined for everyone.
我想拍部前传结果把大家都惹生气了
I guess it could happen to anyone.
我想这事可能发生在任何人身上
I should probably write George Lucas a note of apology.
我应该给乔治·卢卡斯写封道歉信
Okay, let's not get crazy.
没这么严重
And you didn't ruin anything.
你什么都没毁掉
May I sit here?
我能坐这里吗
Shirley, what are you doing here?
雪瑞你来这干吗
Oh, just wanted some yogurt.
想喝酸奶了
And I do know you're not that person anymore.
而且我也知道你早已洗心革面了
Are you sure? 'Cause I was awfully good at it.
你确定因为我特擅长伪装
Well, we all do bad things every now and again.
大家都是善恶双生嘛
I mean, I put a stripper's head through a jukebox.
我还把一个脱衣舞娘的脑袋摁到点唱机里了呢
What are you guys doing here?
你们怎么在这儿
I guess we all really wanted yogurt.
我想是大家都很想喝酸奶吧
You know what's weird?
知道最诡异的是什么吗
This is where I first decided to go to Greendale.
我就是在这里决定要来格林德尔上学的
Wait, really?
等下真的吗