废柴联盟（2009）

Community S04E06

Part 1 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:49 a.m.

My name is Kevin, or so they tell me.
我叫凯文反正他们是这么跟我说的
But by using a special, shiny glass
通过一片特殊闪亮的玻璃
called a mirror,
其名为镜子
I've estimated that I'm 15 years old,
我猜自己现在15岁
although I have no way of knowing.
虽然这点我已无从得知了
Compared with your garden variety amnesia,
与普通失忆症相比
Changnesia is immeasurably more complex.
昌癔症要复杂得多
Its varied and seemingly random symptoms,
该病有着诸多各种看似不靠谱的症状
Its resistance to both traditional and new age medicine.
对传统药物和新型药物都有抗性
Why Changnesia affects the memory
为何"昌癔症"会影响记忆
but not the ability to make forced puns...
却依然能造出如此生硬的双关语
These are all things we can study
我们可以对以上所有问题进行研究
now that someone finally has it.
因为终于有人患上了该病
I first met Chang when I hired him
我第一次遇见昌是聘请他
as a Spanish teacher at Greendale.
来格林德尔当西语老师
homeless vent dweller,
无家可归的通风管住户
Security guard, keytarist, power hungry warlord,
保安键盘吉他手追求权力的军阀
and now, Kevin.
而现在又成了凯文
It's sad to see him like this.
他现在这样真可怜
Well, it's mixed.
一言难尽啦
He was pretty terrible before.
他以前可是很恐怖的哦
And then, at some point,
之后又在某个时刻
Chang hit his head, went un-crazy,
昌的脑袋被撞从此不发疯了
Thereby reverting back to regular old Kevin again.
这样他就又变回之前正常的凯文了
That makes no sense.
根本就是胡扯
Science tells us
科学告诉我们
hitting his head would only cure him
只有在最初是因为撞头发疯
if hitting his head was the original cause.
他才会因为撞头而被治愈
Told you it was controversial.
我早说过这理论颇有争议
Here at Greendale, we accept all students,
在格林德尔我们接受各式学生
whoever they may be or have forgotten they were.
不管他们是谁或者忘了自己是谁
But assisting in Kevin's recovery
但对于凯文康复治疗的援助
has put a financial strain on the school.
已经让学校的财政捉襟见肘
That's why we are appealing
所以我们希望
to the Macguffin Neurological Institute
麦高芬神经医学研究所
for this $40,000 grant,
能给予四万美元的拨款
so we can continue to fight this terrible disease
好让我们继续与这可怕的疾病抗争
and hopefully, one day, pay for this documentary.
并有望以后还清拍摄本纪录片的经费
How was that, Abed? That's too beggy?
怎么样阿布蒂会不会太低声下气了
No, that was great.
不会那样挺好
But I could use a new camera,
但我可以换台新摄像机
with a smoother zoom.
它的变焦镜头更加平滑
Oh, okay.
行
Well, just be sure to get my good side, okay?
一定要拍出我美好的一面
This documentary needs to be convincing.
这部纪录片要让人信服
This needs to be the hoop dreams of things people care about.
要成为人们在乎的那些梦想
We rolling?
开机了吗
The dean wants a propaganda film,
院长希望拍成一部宣传片
but I intend to explore all sides of this serious issue,
但我想对此严重事态进行全方位调查
including those who don't think it's a serious issue.
包括那些不把这当回事的人
Hey, Jeff.
你好杰夫
What are you doing?
你在干嘛
Making a documentary on Changnesia.
拍摄关于昌癔症的纪录片
You gotta be kidding me.
搞毛啊
Got it. Beautiful.
很好漂亮
All right, let's get one more for safety.
保险起见我们再拍一组
Jeff, back to one.
杰夫回第一个站位
Jeff?
杰夫
I'm telling you what she just found
我来向你们展示一下
for the name brand glitter.
名牌闪光笔的意义所在
Look, cheap glitter, expensive glitter.
瞧廉价闪光笔昂贵闪光笔
Money talks, people.
这就是金钱的力量
Guys, did you hear?
你们听说了吗
The history of ice cream class had another heart attack.
《冰激凌史》课又有人得了心脏病
Three more, and we're all in.
再来三个我们就能上这门课了
Yes.
很好
What's the Macguffin Institute?
麦高芬医学研究所是啥
Fine. I'll tell him.
好吧我来告诉他
But one day, you'll all be old and slow
但总有一天你们都会变得又老又迟缓
and lose at things,
变得屡战屡败
And when that day comes,
等到了那天
I won't remember what I'm doing now.
我也记不得这会儿发生的事情了
The Macguffin Institute is coming to Greendale on Friday
麦高芬医学研究所周五要来格林德尔
because they might give the school money
因为他们可能会给学校一笔资金
to study Changnesia.
以研究"昌癔症"
Changnesia isn't a disease. It's a con.
"昌癔症"才不是什么病这是个圈套
You're seriously helping this lunatic?
你们真打算帮这疯子吗
He kept the dean in a dungeon.
他把院长关在地牢
He tried to kill us.
试图干掉我们
He ate his twin in utero.
他在娘胎里就吃掉了胞弟
That was Chang. This is Kevin.
那是昌干的现在他是凯文
They're the same, idiot.
他们都是一个人傻瓜
How would you know?
你怎么知道
Have you ever even spent any time with him, Jeff?
你有和他一起待过吗杰夫
I was reluctant to accept Kevin at first, too,
我一开始也很难接受凯文
He approaches everything with the wonderment
他对每件事物都会发出惊叹
of a small child or a cartoon alien.
就像小孩或者卡♥通♥片里的外星人那样
This makes things smaller.
这玩意儿把东西都变小了
No, no... bigger.
不不是变大了
Oh, bigger.
对变大了
Well, enjoy your collective delusion.
那你们就继续沉浸在这场骗局中吧
I'm going to go get a sandwich,
我去买♥♥份三明治
which, unlike Changnesia, is real.
和"昌癔症"不同这是真实存在的
Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
杰夫杰夫等等等等
We want to know how you feel
我们想知道你对于
about the Macguffin people visiting.
麦高芬来本校考察的看法
I need it on camera.
我得拍下来
It's stupid. What's stupid?
太二了什么太二了
The whole thing.
这一切
Okay, put it together for me.
完整说一遍给我听
"The whole thing is stupid." All right, thanks, buddy.
"这一切都太二了" 多谢了伙计
I'll cut it together.
我会剪到一起的
Shirley. Hmm?
雪莉嗯
You don't seriously think Chang is Kevin, do you?
你不会真以为昌成了凯文吧
No, I believe the good lord made chang chang.
不我相信圣主让昌洗心革"昌"
Kevin is a choice.
凯文就是一个选择
Thank you.
谢谢
I'm seriously worried about the rest of the group.
我真的很担心小组其他人
Not only have they drunk the Kevin kool-aid,
他们不仅被他和善的伪装所欺骗
they're in the study room right now,
而且现在还在自习室
making banners, debating glitter...
做横幅争论闪光笔什么的
Well, I'd love to keep talking about this,
我很愿意一直谈论这个话题
but I gotta get to work.
但我得去工作了
No, Shirley, you've got to help me stop this.
不雪莉你得帮我阻止这一切
You're the only sane person left.
只有你还没疯
Welcome to Shirley's sandwiches,
欢迎来到雪莉三明治店
where the food is Kevin-ly.
这里的食物特别"凯"口美"文"
You hired Chang?
你雇了昌
I'm Kevin. And you are?
我叫凯文请问你是
Not calling you Kevin.
打死不叫你凯文
Hi, not calling you Kevin.
你好 "打死不叫你凯文"
What are you having?
你要点什么
None of this.
什么都不要
Okay. Uh, listen.
行了听着
I don't care what he calls himself,
我不在乎他叫什么名字
He's a hard worker.
他工作很努力
We're all broken people, Jeffrey.
人无完人杰夫瑞
We all deserve a second chance.
我们都该拥有一次改过的机会
Like how I gave Andre a second chance.
就像我给了安德烈第二次机会那样
It doesn't mean I forgot. I just forgave.
我不是忘了我只是原谅他了