废柴联盟（2009）

Community S04E10

Part 4 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:51 a.m.

with my two irresistible lady friends, Rizzoli and Isles,
雷佐利和埃尔斯[《妙女神探》]
when I heard... wait a minute.
突然我听见等等
What the hell is going on in here? No, don't!
你们搞毛呢不是这样的
I can explain.
我能解释的
No explanation necessary.
不用解释了
Next time you decide to have a party without me, Jeffrey,
下次你再准备开派对不叫我杰夫瑞
at least have the decency to do it when I'm in spin class.
至少在我去上健身课时再开嘛
I'm a blast at holiday-themed parties.
我好歹是节日主题派对的弄潮儿
Where the hell is he? Professor? Did he leave?
他去哪了教授呢他走了吗
Why in God's name would I leave?
我♥干♥嘛要走呢
This is just getting interesting.
好戏才刚刚开始
Now, one of you untied me.
你们中有人给我松了绑
I wonder who it was.
我在想会是谁
Who is the Benedict Arnold,
谁是本尼迪克特·阿诺德
the true hero of this story?
这段传奇中真正的英雄
Oh, no, what's gonna happen when we find out
不会吧我们找出背叛者后
who betrayed us? I wonder why you're so scared.
会怎样你为什么这么害怕
It wasn't me.
不是我♥干♥的
Can we just say a ghost did it again?
能不能就当又是闹鬼了呢
We're gonna find out who did it when we get our grade.
你给我们成绩我们就去找叛徒
No, we'll have to find out now.
不行我们现在就要找
Otherwise, the lesson isn't complete.
否则这门课就没上完
But the lesson is complete, professor.
课早就上完了教授
You know what you taught us tonight?
你知道你今晚教给我们什么吗
That, yes, empires fall,
就是王国会倾倒
but we're no empire.
但我们不是帝王
We're just a bunch of flawed, selfish people.
我们只是一群残缺且自私的人
And that's not our weakness.
这就是我们的弱点
It's our strength.
是我们的力量
The one thing that we can count on
我们唯一有把握的是
at any given moment is that the six of us
任何时候我们六人中有人犯了错
are paying for a mistake made by one of us.
我们都会一起承担后果
And that means, at any given moment,
这意味着任何时候
one of us is screwing up so badly,
我们中有人搞砸了
that he or she is gonna forgive whoever screws up next.
他或她都能原谅下一个搞砸的人
Now I'm gonna do something that Octavian never would...
现在我要做一件屋大维从没做过的事
Yeah, I read the book.
没错那书我读了
I'm gonna say that whoever untied the professor...
我要说不管是谁给教授松了绑
I don't give a crap.
我都不在乎
Because whoever it was,
因为不管那是谁
I know it was some flawed, selfish, weak,
我知道你都是跟我一样残缺自私软弱
hopeless soul like me.
且无药可救的人
Exactly what the betrayer would say.
完全是叛徒的宣言
Fine, dick, if it was me,
好吧混♥蛋♥ 如果是我
I'm gonna lose my "A" by tying you up again.
我会宁可不要A 也要再把你绑起来吗
Get over here.
给我过来
That's hurting. That's hurting.
很疼的好疼好疼
Now, if you'll excuse us,
如果你不介意
we have some gifts to open.
我们要拆礼物了
Ooh, mine first, mine first.
先拆我的先拆我的
Milady.
女士们
Kevin, did you wrap these presents yourself?
凯文这些礼物是你自己包的吗
Once again, I'm not a dog.
我再说一遍我不是狗狗
Zoink.
给你
Doink.
给你
Kevin, how do you tie a knot?
凯文你是怎么打结的
Really simple.
很简单啦
So you go...
就这样
Make a little rabbit ear like so,
摆成兔耳朵的形状
then the kids go marching down the well.
一群小孩子排队走
Oh...my...God.
我的天啊
Professor, you were never tied up.
教授你根本就没被绑住
What?
什么
What do you want me to say?
你想让我说什么
What do you want me to say?
你想让我说什么
That I did it because I'm lonely?
说我是因为孤单才这样做
That my daughter isn't in town?
说我女儿不在本地
That she never comes to see me
她从来不来看我
because she finds me too manipulative?
因为她觉得我太爱操纵人
Or you could say you're sorry for the whole thing.
你可以说你对发生的一切感到抱歉
Yes, I suppose that would be accurate.
是的这样说很对
And that, as compensation for the mental anguish
所以为了补偿你对我们造成的
you caused us, you'll give us an "A."
精神损失你要给我们A
Jeff. Overreaching?
杰夫太贪心了吧
Fair enough. Maybe you can grade us separately.
好吧你可以分别给我们打分
That way, Shirley and Annie can get their "A"s.
这样雪瑞和安妮要得到A
No, Jeffrey, he can give us an "F"
不杰夫瑞他可以给我们F
or he can give us an "A,"
也可以给我们A
but we should all get the same grade.
但我们的成绩应该一样
God's sake, don't rub it in.
老天爷别过分了
Very well. Seeing as you saved me
好吧看在你们将我从每年
from my yearly Christmas tradition of plum pudding,
充斥着李子布丁烧鹅和更新遗书活动的
roasted goose, and updating my suicide note...
传统圣诞节中解救出来的份上
I suppose I could give you a "C".
我想可以给你们个C
Plus.
C+
Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐
**Jingle bell, jingle bell*
*铃铛响铃铛响
**Jingle bell rock*
*铃儿响叮当
**Jingle bells swing*
*铃儿摇摇又晃晃
**And jingle bells ring*
*铃铛响叮当
Annie!
安妮
Oh, my God.
天啊
Wow. That's really great.
真棒
All right.
好吧
Oh, poppy poppy paper.
啪啪泡泡纸
No, there's a gift in there.
里面有礼物呢
Yeah.
真棒
Buttered noodles. My favorite.
黄油面条我的最爱
By the way, i didn't get anyone gifts,
顺便说一下我没给你们买♥♥礼物
so my gift to you all
所以我送给你们的礼物
is you get to lord it over me for the next year.
就是明年你们可以指使我
No, stupid, a gift doesn't create an obligation.
傻瓜义务不是礼物
It's the obligation that's a gift.
送礼物才是义务
I gotta drop a deuce.
我得去嘘嘘了
See you guys.
一会儿见
Hey, it's Chang.
喂我是昌
No, they're not expelled.
没有他们没被开除
I have to do something else.
我还得找机会下手
I couldn't stay mad at you guys.
我没法总生你们的气嘛
Here. I was gonna save these for the real Christmas day,
来我本来想留到圣诞节当天再送的
but these guys were getting antsy.
谁叫你们等不及了嘛
Hi, there.
你好
August.
这是奥古斯特
And this one is James.
这是詹姆斯
And this one is Fiona.
这是菲奥娜
And these two guys are Jeffrey.
这两只是杰夫瑞
At nice times like this,
在如此温馨的时刻
I wonder what's happening in the darkest timeline.
我好奇在最黑暗的平行空间会发生什么
Timeline?
什么空间
Abed, there are no dark timelines.
阿布蒂没有什么黑暗平行空间
Your Honor, I may not have a right arm,
法官大人我也许失去了得力助手
but I am armed with what's right.
但我不会失去捍卫真理的勇气
My client Miss Edison did rob several drug stores,
我的当事人埃迪生小姐也许抢劫了几家药店
and, yes, she did stab several pharmacists,
她也捅伤了几个药剂师
but let's talk about the bigger crime,
但更大的犯罪是什么呢
that someone so beautiful has been removed from society.
是如此美丽的人被社会驱逐
Miss Edison, you are hereby released
埃迪生小姐我宣布你正式
from Greendale Insane Asylum.
被格林德尔疯人院释放
Are you sure you don't have a problem with our age difference?
你确定我们的年龄差不是问题吗