废柴联盟（2009）

Community S04E05

Part 2 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:48 a.m.

You know, the irony is,
你知道讽刺的是
after all your pestering that I deal with my daddy issues,
你一直缠着我让我跟我爸消除隔阂
You're the reason I'm not meeting my father.
结果到头来我却因为你而不敢见我爸
Or maybe I'm the reason you'll come here after all.
也许正因为我你才会到这里来
Britta, I--
布雷塔
Wait. What do you mean by "Here"?
等一下 "这里"是什么意思
Your dad's house,
你♥爸♥爸家
where I kind of, sort of, am.
我似乎好像在这里
Yeah, thanks, Sharon.
好谢你了莎朗
I never thought about it that way.
我以前都没这么想过
Batman is sort of gay.
蝙蝠侠是有点基
Be right back.
马上回来
What is going on?
怎么回事
Why is Thanksgiving so terrible?
感恩节怎么这么可怕
I know.
就是
The tension, the backbiting, the judgmental comments.
争来争去背后说人坏话对人评头论足
This makes Thanksgiving with my family look--
跟这比起来我家过感恩节简直是
Eh, still pretty bad.
好吧还是不怎么样
I said batman was gay.
我居然说蝙蝠侠基情
You ask one lady if she's Tyler Perry in drag,
不就问她是不是泰勒·佩里变装的嘛
and suddenly, you're the bad guy.
我哪儿不对了
It's a reference. That's my humor.
那叫引经据典爷的专属幽默
Abed gets it.
阿布蒂就懂
Oh, you're all hiding out in here.
原来你们藏在这里啊
We're not hiding. You know us, kind of get away.
我们没藏你了解的就是走开一下
Well, be careful.
注意一点哦
You might be giving the impression
你们这样会让我以为
that you prefer the cold garage
你们宁可待在冰冷的车♥库♥里
to the warm heart of my hospitality.
也不愿享受我热情的招待
What? As if.
什么不可能
Okay. Well, hurry back soon.
好吧快上来吧
This is the Jonestown of Dinners.
这简直是断头饭
I feel like I'm in jail.
我有种进监狱的感觉
And you know what happens to guys like me in jail.
你也知道像我这样进了监狱会多惨
They get really into push-ups,
那帮人那么喜欢俯卧撑
And I am fine with my upper body the way it is!
可是我对自己上身肌肉够满意了
It did feel like a prison,
这确实像个牢笼
And that meant only one thing made sense, conceptually.
所以理论上我们只有一条出路
We had to break out.
只能越狱
And someone with the gravitas of Morgan Freeman
作为有着跟摩根·弗里曼一般庄严面相的我
had to narrate it.
就要担起旁白的重任
We need to do a prison break.
我们得越狱
Happy Thanksgiving?
感恩节快乐
You really "You'd" this one, huh?
你怎么那么多管闲事
Okay, yes, I meddled against your wishes,
好吧背着你瞎搅和的是我
And yes, I got this address from the dean,
从院长那里搞来了地址也是我
But hey.
但你看
You had a moment of doubt,
你当时一迟疑
And here I am to help you through it.
立马伸出援手的也是我嘛
Psychology tells us there are no accidents.
心理学上说万事皆有因意外不存在
Oh, really?
是吗
What about car accidents, Tara Reid,
那车祸呢塔拉·雷德这种存在呢
Or the Hindenburg?
"兴登堡"号♥又算啥
Here goes nothing.
算了豁出去了
Hello, William.
你好威廉姆
So, uh how about we make some ground rules?
那么丑话先说在前头吧
Actually, that sounds good.
好主意
Okay. No hugs.
好吧别抱我
Wouldn't want one. No apologies.
我也不想抱也别道歉
Wouldn't accept one. No calling you "Dad."
我也不打算接受不会叫你♥爸♥
No expectations. No BS.
也别指望什么别说废话
Drink? Scotch.
喝点什么苏格兰威士忌
18? Neat.
十♥八♥年♥的纯的
I just want to acknowledge
我只想说一下
that there are a lot of emotions flowing right now,
大家现在肯定心潮澎湃
and you two are probably feeling a strong impulse
你俩小心脏也一定砰砰直跳
to sleep with each other,
想要共度今宵
And hey, that's normal.
这也很正常
I'll get the drinks.
我去拿酒
So, how about that? No muss, no fuss.
你看这样怎么样不争不吵无烦恼
Jeff, I urge you not to run from the muss and fuss.
杰夫我劝你不要逃避争争吵吵
You must be my half-brother.
你就是我同父异母的弟弟吧
Oh, your hands are so much bigger than mine.
你的手比我的大好多
Your nail beds are perfect.
你的指甲好漂亮
I can't do it. I can't.
我接受不了接受不了
Oh, God.
老天
Oh, it's coming up.
要出来了
When I get upset, I vomit.
我一紧张就想吐
Oh, I see you've met Willy Junior.
看来你已经见过小威利了
You said he wasn't going to replace me.
你说过不会让他把我挤走的
He's the Schwarzenegger. I'm the Devito.
他是施瓦辛格我就是德维托
I get it.
我懂的
Okay, fellas, let's get right into it.
好了各位言归正传吧
I think the big question on everyone's mind is
我想现在各位心中都有一个大谜团那就是
Why don't I go help Willy Junior? Hmm?
我为啥不去抚慰一下小威利呢
One thing was clear to me and the rest of the crew.
对我和我的同伴来说有一件事是肯定的
Bennett lockup was not where we belonged.
伯纳德监狱不是我们的归宿
We belonged in the sun, with the wind in our hair,
我们理应站在阳光下感受着微风拂过发梢
or maybe at a Bennigan's, enjoying a turkey o'toole.
或是坐在贝纳根餐厅吃着火鸡椒盐圈
We should tunnel out.
我们挖地道吧
Abed, Shirley is our friend,
阿布蒂雪瑞是我们的朋友
and we're guests in her home.
我们是在做客的
We need a plan that won't hurt her feelings,
得想个不会伤她心的办法
or damage her property.
也不能破坏她的房♥子
Definitely don't look behind that poster, then.
那就千万别往海报后面看
I could pretend to have a stroke.
我可以假装中风
Do a gibberish foreign language.
然后嘟囔着外语
What if I did a gibberish foreign language like star wars?
我嘟囔星战里面那种语言怎么样
You'd like that, I bet. Dick.
我猜你肯定喜欢混♥蛋♥
Look, I'm sure we'll figure out a way out of here.
肯定有办法逃出去的
What's important right now is that we stick together.
现在最重要的就是团结
Yeah. Oh, there you are.
你们在这里啊
Who wants a pre-dinner snack?
有谁想来点餐前点心吗
Oh, pumpkin, what's wrong?
小南瓜怎么了
Oh, it's too embarrassing
好尴尬
To talk about in front of the guys,
居然要在你们面前说这个
know what I mean, girlfriend?
你懂我意思了吧姐们
Oh, sweetie.
甜心
Do you have your monthly shame?
你是来大姨妈了吗
Do you want to lie down in Elijah's room?
要去伊莱贾房♥间里躺一下吗
Oh, I don't think that's going to cut it.
估计没什么用
I probably need to go home and call Dr. Collins.
我可能要回去找科林斯医生了
It's that bad.
很严重的
Oh, well, you know,
其实吧
My sister-in-law's a gynecologist,
我小姑子就是妇科医生
and she's right in the other room.
她就在里边呢
There's no need to bother your doctor on a holiday.
就不用大过节的去找你的医生了
Go ahead. Mm-hmm.
来吧
I'd like to tell you Annie avoided
我也想粉饰太平地告诉大家
Shirley's doctor sister-in-law,
说安妮躲过了雪瑞的医生小姑子
but this ain't no fairy tale.
但这不是童话故事
This is Thanksgiving.
这是感恩节
Let's see, what else?
我想想还有什么
You've got some diabetes, on my mother's side.
你会有糖尿病我妈那边传下来的
Good to know.
谢谢告知
I like your hair.
我喜欢你的头发
The presence of it, I mean.
我是说你还有头发这一点
So I have a question,
我还有个问题
And it's been weighing on me pretty heavily.
这个问题困扰了我很久
At your age, in the bedroom--
你这个年纪房♥事