神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S08E07

Part 4 Sept. 5, 2021, 12:03 p.m.

According to the DNA results,
博伊尔家族的每个人都有血缘关系
everyone in the Boyle family is
除了一个人
related except one.
-林登吗 -不
- Lyndon? - No.
是查尔斯
Charles.
查尔斯·博伊尔
Charles Boyle
不是博伊尔家族一员
isn't a Boyle.
DNA检测结果肯定搞错了
That DNA test has to be wrong.
查尔斯是整个家族里最"博伊尔风"的人了
I mean, Charles is the most Boyle-y of all the Boyles.
我打算打给查尔斯的爸爸
You know what? I'm gonna call Charles' dad,
打破砂锅问到底
get to the bottom of this.
你好林恩我是杰克
Hey, Lynn? It's Jake.
你好我能快速问一下你
Hi. Hey, can I ask you
关于查尔斯父系这边的亲戚吗
about Charles' paternity real quick?
六小时后
好的谢谢林恩拜拜
All right. Thanks, Lynn. Bye.
怎么打了这么久
What on Earth took so long?
刚开始的五个小时
Well, the first five hours
主要是抽泣和喘气
was mostly just sobbing and gasping for air.
然后他告诉我查尔斯妈妈
Then he told me that Charles' mom
之前和对家花店老板有过一段情
had an affair with a rival florist.
林恩一直怀疑查尔斯是那人的种
Lynn always suspected he might've been Charles' dad,
但他决定仍然爱查尔斯不受那件事影响
but he decided he loved him so much, it didn't matter.
我不理解
I don't understand.
查尔斯和其他博伊尔长得一模一样
Charles looks just like all the other Boyles.
貌似那不是因为基因
Apparently that's not genetic.
是因为博伊尔家族抱孩子那么紧
The Boyles cuddle their children so much,
把他们骨相都改成那样了
it shapes their bones that way.
他说和培育方形西瓜的方式一样
He likened it to how they grow square watermelons.
我的天
Oh, my God.
我们不能告诉查尔斯
We can't tell Charles.
你想对我们亲爱的朋友撒一个
You wanna lie to our dear friend
这个世界上对他来说最重要的事情的
about the one thing that's most important to him
弥天大谎吗
in the whole world?
-是的 -太好了我也想
- Yes. - Okay, good, me too.
现在我们只需要在查尔斯
Now all we have to do is prove
问起DNA检测结果前
that Cousin Lyndon is
证明堂亲林登就是杀人凶手
the murderer before Charles asks about the DNA results.
朋友们你们好
Hi, guys.
你好老兄
Ah. Hey, man.
你从哪里冒出来的
Where'd you come from?
我溜过来的
I slinked up.
你知道博伊尔家族的人都很擅长偷溜
You know how good Boyles are at slinking.
因为我们有肥厚的脚趾
It's because of our fleshy toe pads.
没错查尔斯你
Right. And you, Charles,
就有这种肥厚脚趾
have said fleshy toe pads
因为你是博伊尔家的人
because you are a Boyle,
从鼻到菊
from snout to anus.
"从鼻到菊的博伊尔人"
"A Boyle from snout to anus."
这形容真棒
That is so sweet.
我要偷来做悼词
I'm stealing that for the eulogy.
大可不必吧
Ah, you don't have to.
老肖酒吧
现在就是我们约好的约会时间
It's the exact time we agreed to meet for our date,
他却没出现
and he's not here.
我很遗憾
I'm sorry.
我知道你极其重视守时
I know how you value punctuality.
对我手下的人才这样
In my employees.
但对潜在伴侣我不介意
But in potential suitors, I don't mind
等一两分钟
one or two minutes of tardiness.
我喜欢不羁坏男人
I like a bad boy.
失陪一下
Now, if you'll excuse me,
我要去洗手间洗下手
I'm going to go to the bathroom to wash my hands,
等会说不定会跟他握手
in case we shake.
原计划不是要霍特在赴约前
I thought the point was for Holt to bail
打退堂鼓吗
before he got to an actual date.
没错但这样也行
It is. But this works too.
你看到他配对成功的那货了吗
I mean, did you see the dude he matched with?
他自称是大医生
He calls himself a doctor,
其实不过是脊椎按♥摩♥师
but he's actually a chiropractor.
我们确定霍特看不上脊椎按♥摩♥师吗
Are we sure Holt doesn't respect chiropractors?
我开玩笑的啦
I'm kidding.
托德来了
Ooh. There's Todd.
霍特也出来了
And here's Holt.
一开始很热情笑容满面
Started off strong, nice big smile.
笑容消失了他注意到了托德的懒人鞋
Oh, not anymore. He just noticed Todd's loafers.
托德你个傻蛋
Oh, Todd, you fool.
在霍特眼里没有鞋带的鞋子都是人字拖
Holt thinks any shoes without laces are flip-flops.
现在这一刻即将使霍特崩溃冲出去
Now the moment that will send Holt running toward the exit.
他会问托德想喝什么
When he asks Todd what he would like to drink,
托德会说 "你喝什么我就喝什么"
Todd orders, "Whatever you're having."
托德你个傻蛋有点自己想法行吗
Oh Todd, you fool. Have your own opinion.
等一下他们要坐下吗
Wait a second. Are they gonna sit down?
还是坐卡座
In a booth?
不罗莎
Oh, no, Rosa.
傻的不是托德
Todd's not the fool.
是我俩
We're the fools.
我看到目标了
I have eyes on the package.
他正朝你走去
He's headed towards you.
-我盯上他了 -说真的
- I'm on it. - Seriously, guys,
我们为什么要这么做
why are we doing this?
我们就该等DNA测试结果
We should just wait for the DNA test.
我们会做测试
We will.
但实验室说要一周时间
But the lab said it would take a week.
他们得先弄套新设备
They had to get a new tech.
不要啊为什么
Oh, no. Why?
旧设备有严重过敏反应对...
The old one had a bad allergic reaction to...
烧杯
beakers.
实验室里到处是烧杯太惨了
Labs are full of them. That's awful.
是啊这也是事实
Yeah, and real.
不管怎样我们只有林登这一个嫌疑人
Anyways, since Lyndon is our only actual suspect,
不妨就调查一番
we might as well investigate.
我问你他有没有湿了
Let me ask you this. Is he gushing?
别说这种令人作呕的话
Don't say those words.
保密带来的巨大压力
The pressure of keeping secrets
会让博伊尔家的人紧张出汗
makes Boyles stress-sweat.
有一次我们玩扮黑道
Once, we played Mafia,
你绝对没见过那么多湿到滴水的堂亲
and you'd never seen so many dripping wet cousins
-共处一室 -够了
- in one room. - Come on.
等等他要走出去了
Wait. He's leaving the property.
你能跟着他吗
Can you stay with him?
应该可以
Yeah. I think so.
我只需绕过谷仓然后...
I just have to get around the barn and--
泰熊熊
Terr-bear?
抱歉我跟踪林登时
I'm sorry. I was following Lyndon
爬到了那玩意身上
and I crawled into that thing.
那玩意有名字的
That thing has a name.
它叫小蛋糕
It's Muffin.
都怪小蛋糕我们跟丢了林登
Well, thanks to Muffin, we lost Lyndon.
没错但也多亏了小蛋糕
Yes. But also thanks to Muffin,
我知道谁是杀害博伊尔老爹的真凶了
I just solved the case of who killed Pappy Boyle.
我们不就在你面前吗
We're right here.
对我没料到会有麦克风回授
Yeah. I didn't think it would feed back.
不罗莎他们要一起离开了
Oh, no, Rosa. They're leaving together.
我们该怎么办
What are we gonna do?
阻止他们
We stop them.
哪怕要杀死托德也在所不惜
Even if it means we have to kill Todd.
机智我们走
Smart. Let's go.
在找人吗
Looking for someone?
长官什么情况啊
Sir. Uh, what's going on?
情况就是你们想操纵我
What's going on is that you were trying to manipulate me,
但其实是我♥操♥纵了你们