神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S08E03

Part 2 Aug. 21, 2021, 10:38 p.m.

Lieutenant, we don't have the time today
我们今天没时间讨论
to make this about some larger insecurity
你对自己的勇猛度很没安全感的事
you have regarding your toughness.
第一我不是对我的勇猛度没有安全感
First of all, I'm not insecure about my toughness.
第二生病和勇不勇猛没关系
Secondly, being sick has nothing to do with being tough.
第三如果我不勇猛
Thirdly, if I wasn't tough,
-我怎么会敢让艾米打我的肚子呢 -什么
- would I be daring Amy to punch me in the stomach? - Wha--
拜托艾米用全力打我一拳
Come on, Amy! Give me your best shot!
好吧为了让这事翻篇只能这样了
Fine. Just so that we can move on.
看吧我没事
See? I'm fine.
现在不好意思失陪一下
Now, if you'll excuse me,
我要和我的好朋友垃圾桶
I'm gonna go for a walk in the fresh air
走一走呼吸一下新鲜空气
with my best friend, the trash can.
我会回来的因为我很勇猛
I'll be back 'cause I'm tough!
在他回来后又把话题转移到自己身上之前
Let's talk quickly before he returns
我们快速交流一下情况
and makes this all about himself again.
好的我们不能用其他分局的人
Okay. We can't use uniforms from other precincts
因为他们也会请病假
because they'll call out sick, too.
所以我让其他区的警监
So I asked the other captains in the district
调给我们几个警探
to lend us some detectives.
聪明他们的工会不同
Smart. They have a different union.
每个警监调给我们两个人
And they each sent us two people.
他们说他们很愿意帮忙
They said they were happy to do it.
那有点奇怪啊
Huh. That's odd.
我要是失去两名警探肯定不开心除非
I wouldn't be happy to give up two of my detectives, unless--
天啊
Dear God.
他们把他们的希契科克和斯卡利送来了
They sent us their Hitchcock-and-Scullys.
简直是噩梦
It's a nightmare.
所以你最近感觉浑身无力吗
So you've been feeling fatigued?
是的我感觉我得了接吻病
Yeah. I think I have mono.
我是99分局的
I'm from the 99th precinct.
是的我听说那里爆发了传染病
Ah, yeah, I've heard they've had some kind of outbreak there.
没错现在你知道我是哪个分局的了
Mm-hmm. So now that you know where I'm from,
你可以直接给我开张假条吗
can you just write me a note?
不行要先验血再做个全面检查
Uh, no, actually, I need to order bloodwork and do a full exam.
-衣服掀起来 -好的
- Lift up. - Oh, yeah.
这可有点不一般啊
Oh. Now, that is interesting.
你看到接吻病的症状了吗
Oh, did you find a sign of mono?
-不是是你的睾丸 -我的什么
- No, it's your testicle. - My what?
左边的简直巨大
The left one is enormous.
一边的睾丸不能比另一边的大吗
Oh, well, can't one testicle be larger than the other?
可以但不会这么大
Well, yes, but it shouldn't be that large.
形状和颜色也不太对...
And also of concern is the shape and the color...
这听起来不妙啊
Yeah, that doesn't sound good.
摸着也不对
And the texture.
这也太凉了
Wow! Oh, that is ice cold!
-所以... -所以...
- So... - So...
-你全听到了 -是的
- You heard all that? - I did.
连医生说我巨大的...
Even the part where he's talking about my huge--
是的是的我全听到了
Yep. Yep, yep, yep. All the parts.
-你没事吧 -我没事
- You okay? - Yeah.
可能是癌症也许已经扩散了
I mean, could be cancer. Might have spread.
但我没事我承受得住
But I'm fine. I can handle this.
你确定吗
You sure about that?
因为你还穿着医院的病号♥服呢兄弟
'Cause you're still wearing your hospital gown there, bud.
我是穿着呢
So I am.
她来了
Ah, there she is.
我的最强秘密武器尖刺三队
My sweet secret prong three.
-什么鬼 -对了
- What the hell? - Oh, right.
我说明三叉戟计划时你不在
You weren't there when I explained Operation Trident.
你有什么发现
So, uh, what did you find?
目前还没有如果你想让我查下去
Nothing yet, and if you want me to keep digging,
我们就得谈谈费用了
we need to talk about my fee.
我需要现金我的其他工作大部分是无偿的
I need cash. Most of my other work is pro bono.
这是秘密调查我不能付钱
This is unofficial. I can't pay.
好吧但是你可以给我其他东西
Right, but there is something you can give me,
和钱一样有价值的东西
something just as valuable as money.
-我想看你的纹身 -这和钱一样有价值吗
- I want to see your tattoo. - That's just as valuable?
对杰克有他悬赏了一大笔钱
It is to Jake. He's offered a significant reward.
简直太荒谬了
Wow. It is so ridiculous
你们对我的蠢纹身竟然这么在意
how much weight you've all given to my silly tattoo,
好像那是我会带进坟墓的巨大秘密一样
like it's some huge secret that I'll take to my grave.
我注意到你还没有答应
I notice you haven't said yes yet.
因为谁都不能知道
'Cause no one can ever know.
好吧
Okay, fine.
如果你能弄清楚老鼠怎么会在墨西哥卷饼里
If you can prove how that mouse got into that burrito,
我就告诉你我纹了什么
I'll tell you what my tattoo is.
-我要拍照片 -你简直是魔鬼
- I need a photo of it. - You're a monster.
等等我也许不用和你交易
Wait. I may not have to deal with you.
桑迪亚哥尖刺二队进展如何
Santiago, how's prong two looking?
好消息是
Well, the good news is
斯卡利和希契科克们合作得还不错
the Scully-and-Hitchcocks actually work well together.
这的确是好消息
That is good news.
坏消息是他们是在围成一圈互抓后背
The bad news is it's at making a back-scratch circle.
我一直在想有一个凝聚力强
I always wondered what it would be like
像家一样的工作环境是什么样的
to have a tight-knit work family.
-99分局万岁 -99分局万岁
- Nine-Nine! - Nine-Nine!
他们来了尖刺一队
Ah, there they are-- prong one,
我最重视的尖刺小队
my most important prong.
谢谢你终于注意到
Oh, thank you. Nice of you to finally recognize
我们小队的贡献了
what our prong brings to this.
生命就是对生者开的一个残忍♥玩笑
Life is a cruel prank played on the living.
死亡在嘲笑我们所有人
Death mocks us all.
是时候告诉我儿子他要再一次成为孤儿了
Time to go tell me son he'll be an orphan... again.
没错尖刺一队很快就溃不成军了
So, yeah. Prong one pretty much broke immediately.
我要去给人事打电♥话♥ 提前报告露屁♥股♥的事
I'm gonna call HR. Get ahead of that butt.
现在情况是这样蓝色流感还在继续
Here's where we stand. The Blue Flu continues.
奥沙利文和工会
O'Sullivan and the union
对老鼠墨西哥卷饼一事的诉求寸步不让
won't budge on their mouse-burrito demands.
而且逮捕量下降了
Also, arrests are down.
桑迪亚哥杰弗兹昨天到底发生了什么
Santiago, Jeffords, what on earth happened yesterday?
新警探们都不听我的指示
The new detectives won't do anything I ask.
-而且我还没有搭档 -对不起
- And I've had to work solo. - Sorry.
我那时候有点不舒服但我现在好多了
I was feeling a little sick, but I am much better now.
你看起来一团槽
You look like garbage.
我知道你想勇猛坚持
Now, I know you're trying to tough this out,
但我一直相信真正的勇猛
but I've always believed that true toughness
是知道自己的极限
means acknowledging your own limitations.
没事的泰瑞回家吧
It's okay, Terry. Go home.
谢谢您长官我马上就回来
Thank you, sir. I'll be back in a jiffy.
难以置信他居然相信那种鬼话
I can't believe he bought that drivel.
忍♥痛坚持的人才能称作硬汉
True toughness means working through pain.
人人都明白的道理
Everyone knows that.
帕拉塔跟医生的进展怎么样
Peralta, where are we with the doctor?
我们打算跟踪他
We're gonna tail him
看看他有没有和奥沙利文联络
and see if he contacts O'Sullivan.
聪明博伊尔警探怎么回事
Smart. And, uh, what is going on with Detective Boyle?
他还好吗
Is he okay?
你是指他为什么把脸埋在芝士里吗
Oh, you mean why is he face-deep in cheese?
是用巴尔干的驴奶制♥作♥的
Yeah, it's made from the milk of a Balkan donkey
明显非常贵
and apparently it's quite expensive.
在这个驴芝士上花了一万二
Spent 12 thou on ass cheese.
还有他在假装
Also, he's pretending like
他不知道驴芝士听上去像什么[菊花白渣]
he doesn't know what ass cheese sounds like.
你确定他还能工作吗
Are you sure he should be working?
他医生说没什么好担心的
His doctor said there's nothing to worry about
等化验结果出来再说
until we get the actual test results back.
查尔斯说工作是唯一一件
And Charles said that work is
能让他不去想他快死了的事
the only thing keeping him from thinking about death.
貂皮大衣能让我
Coat's to keep me warm...
在坟墓里也保暖