神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S08E05

Part 2 Aug. 28, 2021, 6:45 p.m.

I'm glad you asked, mon frere.
那首歌♥就是第三个牛逼惊喜
That track is sexy-ass surprise number three.
他是我认识的一个音频工程师
Okay, so I know this audio engineer
他有一个朋友的室友平常负责帮人买♥♥午餐
who's friends with a guy who's roommates with a guy
而他帮忙买♥♥午餐的人有一个朋友
who gets lunch for a guy who's friends with a guy
认识大牌歌♥手德雷克
who knows Drake.
而他帮我们写了这首曲让我们自己写歌♥
And he laid down a beat for us to write a song to!
德雷克帮我们写的这首曲吗
Drake laid down a beat for us?
什么不是是我那个朋友写的
What? No, no. The friend did.
德雷克的那部分只是证明他来头不小
The Drake thing was just to establish his credentials.
真的感觉到很屌♥耶
And it worked.
那兄弟跟德雷克才隔了区区5 6层关系呢
That dude's, like, six spots removed from Drake.
他绝对有料啊
He's the real deal.
很多可以让我们"嗯"的空间我喜欢
A lot of room for uh's. I like that.
我也猜到你会喜欢
I thought you would.
♪ 道格与杰克去逛大街 ♪
♪ Doug and Jake rolling down the street ♪
♪ 庞大与杰吐司中间切 ♪
♪ PB and J a tasty little treat ♪
♪ 两个酷哥为人做拖鞋 ♪
♪ Two cool dudes making sandals for your feet ♪
-什么鬼 -硬要押韵嘛
- What? - I was going for the rhyme,
押出来后感觉继续这样会很屌♥耶
but now I kind of feel like it's a good idea.
爷喜欢
Love it.
♪ 做鞋秉持最耐久主义 ♪
♪ Making sandals that last is our ideology ♪
♪ 全靠专利无鞋带科技 ♪
♪ Made real by our patented, strapless technology ♪
-靠磁力固定 -牛逼
- It's magnets. - Okay!
♪ 你可以穿着去海边逛 ♪
♪ Yo, you can wear 'em on the beach ♪
♪ 你可以穿着去爬爬山 ♪
♪ Wear 'em on a hike ♪
♪ 你可以穿着上健身班 ♪
♪ Wear 'em on a Peloton exercise bike ♪
♪ 道格与杰克两个好基友 ♪
♪ Doug and Jake, two best friends ♪
♪ 制出最高级拖鞋给世界 ♪
♪ With the premium, open-toed shoes for men! ♪
太狂了吧
That was crazy.
居然不用排演就一次完美
We never even rehearsed and just did it perfectly.
就像杰克逊·缅因与艾莉一样合拍
It was like Jackson Maine and Ally.
歌♥舞爱情电影《一个明星的诞生》的男女主角
-我要当艾莉 -靠我也想要当艾莉
- I call Ally. - Aw, I wanted Ally.
好啦到了第四个牛逼惊喜
Okay, it's time for sexy-ass surprise number four.
请问
Let me ask you this.
如果你可以吃到这世上任何的东西你要吃什么
If you could eat any meal on Earth, what would it be?
芝士汉堡口味卷心酥
Cheeseburger cracker flavor Combos,
派特家的费城牛肉芝士三明治博派斯美式松饼
Philly cheesesteaks from Pat's, Popeye's biscuits,
麦当劳的薯条温蒂快餐店的鸡块
McDonald's fries, Wendy's nuggets,
索尼克的起司球饮料机的可乐
Sonic tots, fountain Coke,
当然啦还要我妈妈做的红薯派
and of course, my mama's sweet potato pie.
点的还真是刁钻呢
That's actually a very tall order,
但我全都准备齐啦
which I completely filled.
什么你给我弄了瑞典式自助餐吗
What? You smorgasborded it?
没错我弄了瑞典式自助餐
I smorgasborded it!
你知道这值得来一发什么吗
You know what this calls for?
-什么 -脚击
- What's that? - Foot slap!
你是怎么找到芝士汉堡口味卷心酥的
How did you find cheeseburger cracker Combos?
这不是已经停产了吗跟我说整个来龙去脉
Weren't they discontinued? Tell me the whole story.
皇后区的一家杂货店有一盒旧的
A bodega in Queens had an old box.
-这让我有点伤感了 -为什么
- Kind of makes me sad, though. - How come?
前一天它还在世界各处热销
One day, it's out in the world thriving,
然后弹指之间就从大街小巷下架了
and then poof, gets pulled off the streets.
它又不是一去不复返了
Well, I mean, it's not like it's gone forever.
几年后它又会重新上架的嘛
You know, it'll be back in circulation soon.
或许吧不过有时候
Maybe, but sometimes when a product
一个商品被下架就永远回不来了
is taken off the shelves, it never returns.
不会的啦
It's gonna be okay.
我跟你保证每个月都会去探望卷心酥
I promise I'll visit the Combos every month.
这份情义卷心酥铭记在心
The Combos will be very grateful for that.
它有你这样的朋友运气真好
They're lucky to have a friend like you.
-查尔斯怎么来了 -不然呢
- Charles? - Yeah.
-你在搞什么啊 -是你在搞什么吧
- What are you doing? - What are you doing?
你为什么单独跟一个
Why are you alone with a criminal
从你手中逃走多次的犯人在一起
who's escaped you multiple times?
感觉这问题很有深意啊
Seems like a loaded question.
还有更深的我还没放出来呢
Oh, that's not even half my load.
-真是够了 -天啊我来得太迟了
- Okay. - Oh, my God. I'm too late.
你已经被道格·朱迪的花言巧语所迷惑
You're already seduced by Doug Judy's wiles.
好了我很谢谢你担心我
Okay, I appreciate the concern,
但道格已经改过自新了
but Doug has changed.
这是他多年以前犯的事他也愿意承担后果
This was an old crime, and he's already owned up to it.
并没有想要逃跑
He's not trying to escape.
他连手铐都解开了
He's already out of his handcuffs.
只是为了方便换上我们帅气的衣服啦
Just so we can do our sweet-ass outfit change.
-老虎与犀鸟 -老虎与犀鸟
- Tigers and toucans! - Tigers and toucans!
的确是超好看但杰克你信任他
Obviously, they're fantastic, but Jake, by trusting him,
就是把自己的工作当赌注
you're putting your job on the line,
你拿自己的工作赌也是拿我的工作去赌
which means you're also putting my job on the line.
关联在哪
How so?
因为如果你被炒了我就会跳海往远方游
Because if you get fired, I will swim out into the ocean
直到我无力往回游
until I'm too tired to swim back
最后沉入大海因此失去工作
and I will sink to the bottom and then I won't have a job.
我的老天行吧
Oh, my God. All right.
已经是由我来负责带他移监了
Well, I'm already driving him to prison,
所以你同意不同意我都没回头路
so there's nothing I can do about it now.
有的还有得改
Oh, yes, there is.
欢迎来到博伊尔巴士
Welcome to the Boyle bus.
我们为什么要坐这辆烂车啊
Why we getting in this wack ride?
查尔斯拒绝承认我跟你有深刻的友谊
Charles refuses to accept what close friends we are.
他觉得你会想逃跑
He thinks you're trying to escape
你的弟兄会把目标锁定在火鸟车
and that your crew's on the lookout for the Trans Am,
所以他坚持让我们坐这辆奇怪的家庭巴士
so he insisted we switch into his weird family bus.
-荒谬至极 -可不是嘛
- That's ridiculous. - Isn't it?
跟我们坐什么车没有任何关系
It doesn't matter what vehicle we're in.
我也是这么说的
That's what I said.
我反正都是要逃的
I'm gonna escape from you either way.
就是嘛等等你说什么
Exactly. Wait, what was that?
我还是没懂
I still don't understand.
你说你要逃是什么意思
What do you mean you're escaping?
抱歉了兄弟计划已经展开
Sorry, bro. Plan is already in motion.
楚蒂对你下勾你咬了饵
Trudy came to you. You took the bait.
别闹了
Come on.
如果你真的打算逃跑
If you were really trying to escape,
那你为什么要告诉我
why would you tell me?
说真的我很不喜欢对你撒谎
Honestly, I didn't like lying to you.
你是个很棒的朋友
You're a good friend.
如果我真是你的好朋友
Well, if I'm such a good friend,
你为什么要从我手上逃走
why are you trying to escape from me?
我不是想逃离你
I'm not trying to escape from you.
我是想逃离坐牢啊
I'm trying to escape from prison.
我问你个问题
Let me ask you this.
你知道我为什么要偷那辆车吗
Do you know why I stole that car?
因为你"热爱犯罪"
Because you "Love doing crimes."
我是直接引用你的招牌金句
That's me directly quoting your catchphrase.
首先我的招牌金句是"吸溜吸溜"
First of all, my catchphrase is "Slurp, slurp."
-你从来没说过这句啊 -我整天说好吗
- You've never once said that. - I say it constantly.
其次我"热爱犯罪"
Second of all, me "Loving crime"
摆明了就是虚张声势
is classic empty bravado.
其实我在22岁那年因为一件蠢事被抓过
The truth is I was arrested when I was 22 for something stupid.
我出狱后找不到任何工作
When I got out, nobody would hire me
因为我有犯罪记录
because I had a criminal record.
我当一名园林建筑师的梦想也烟消云散了
My dreams of being a landscape architect were out the window.
那是你的梦想吗
That was your dream?
我想成为黑人版剪刀手爱德华
I wanted to be the Black Edward Scissorhands.
-好棒啊 -我能理解
- Oh, that's great. - I get all that,
但那些与今天的事无关啊
but that's not what this is about.
你可以从任何人手中逃走
I mean, you could have escaped from anyone,
但你偏偏选择要设计我
but you chose to set me up.
我的工作与名声都要因此被牵连
And now my job and my name are all on the line.