神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S08E04

Part 3 Aug. 21, 2021, 10:38 p.m.

它那么柔软
He's so soft.
你儿子肯定很享受抱着它的
Your son's really gonna enjoy cuddling him.
你想看到我抱你儿子吗我爱抱抱
Want to see me cuddle him? I love cuddling.
这场面变诡异也太快了吧
Well, this went south very quickly.
我觉得自己有点像玛丽·波平斯
I consider myself a bit of a Mary Poppins.
《欢乐满人间》的神仙保姆
什么方面呢
Oh, how so?
♪ 我是你的保姆我会打你的屁♥股♥ ♪
♪ I'm your nanny, I'll slap your fanny ♪
♪ 打打打 ♪
♪ Slap, slap, slap
♪ 打你圆滚滚滚小屁♥股♥ ♪
♪ Your fat little fanny
绝对不行
Yeah, it's gonna be a no.
我得回去办弗兰则亚的案子了
I got to get back to Franzia,
我们应该选那个爱拥抱的保姆
so feels like we should go with the cuddler.
不行尽管我很想工作
No, as much as I want to work,
我们不能把儿子托付给什么怪胎
we can't leave our son with some weirdo.
或者我们请分局里的人来照看
Maybe we ask someone in the precinct?
每个人都要工作
Everyone's working.
也不是每个人
Not everyone.
当然我会照看麦克的
Sure, I'll watch Mac.
别担心我把所有尖锐的地方都包起来了
Don't worry, I've padded all the sharp edges in here.
你已经改造成婴儿友好空间了
Wow. You already baby-proofed it?
是我午睡的房♥间
Ah, it's my nap room.
你可以在房♥间里任何一个地方睡觉
You can take a nap anywhere in here.
每一个表面都像一张床
Every surface is like a bed.
我们可以接受
Works for us.
抱歉找保姆的事
Okay. Sorry, the babysitter thing
比我想象的还要久
took a little longer than I was expecting,
但我解决了部分谜题
but I solved part of the riddle.
一只猫有十条命
A cat has ten lives.
我觉得命数是某种数字
I think the lives are numbers.
太聪明了
Wow, that's so smart.
我已经破译了谜题是个电♥话♥号♥码
I already solved the riddle. It's a phone number.
既然你已经在了我们可以一起打过去
But you're here now. We can call together.
好吧我想是的
Okay, yeah, I guess.
或许他会用
I mean, maybe he'll have
又酷又吓人的变♥声♥器♥之类的
a cool scary modulated voice or something.
-是的是的 -好了
- Yeah, yeah. - All right.
你好
Hello.
我的天他真的用了
Oh, my God, he does.
你破译了我的谜题博伊尔警探
You solved my riddle, Detective Boyle.
还有帕拉塔警探
And Detective Peralta!
我还在追踪你你的变♥态♥游戏终于要...
I'm still on your tail, and your sick game is finally--
救命救命
Help! Help!
不是吧
Oh, seriously?
弗兰则亚我得马上挂了
Uh, Franzia, I got to go real quick.
什么你要挂了
What? You have to go?
博伊尔会解释的但我会继续追踪你
Boyle will explain, but I'm still on your tail.
如果你觉得鬼牌是真的狂
And if you think the jokers are really wild--
杰克
Jake!
行了我来了该死
All right, I'm coming! Damn it!
杰克
Jake!
-发生了什么 -麦克没事吧
- What happened? - Is Mac okay?
麦克没事我有事
Mac's fine. It's me.
有个没包起来的尖角
There was one unpadded corner,
我的脚趾伤得很严重
and I stubbed my toe real bad.
快看
Look.
我的天
Oh, God!
抱歉我得去医院了
I'm sorry, I got to go to the hospital.
是的马上去你有很多去的理由
Yeah, immediately, for so many reasons.
-来吧 -我的天
- Come on. - Gosh.
他没事吧
Is he okay?
他很好
He's fine.
艾米抱歉我觉得没有别的保姆了
Ames, I'm sorry, but I think we're all out of babysitters.
不还有一个选择
No. There is one option left.
这是他第一次使用屏幕太棒了
His first screen time, this is amazing.
他会先看哪部《变形金刚》呢
Which "Transformers" movie should he watch first?
有说法表示第一部应该先看《大黄蜂》
There's an argument to be made for "Bumblebee,"
因为是前传
as it is a prequel.
-杰克 -好吧
- Jake. - All right, fine.
我们就自动播放手♥机♥里的垃圾吧出发
Just let it auto-play whatever garbage it wants, and let's go.
好了这个给你麦克
Okay. Here you go, Mac.
拿着
Here you go.
是我们活该
Yeah, we deserve that.
我正在宿醉你感觉怎么样
Oh, I am hungover. How you feeling?
一点也不好
Not good at all.
迪亚兹你本应该照看我的
You were supposed to watch out for me, Diaz.
好消息是猛灌酒起作用了
Good news is, the heavy drinking worked.
你一次也没提起凯文
You didn't mention Kevin one time.
确实是个成就
Oh, that is an accomplishment.
不幸的是昨晚有那么一次
Unfortunately, it appears that I did think about
我确实在想凯文
him at least once last night.
什么意思
What do you mean?
凌晨三点半的时候我似乎给凯文发了
At 3:30 A.M., I seem to have sent Kevin...
一张电子生殖器肖像
A digital phallus portrait.
一张电子生殖器肖像那是什么
A digital phallus portrait? What is that?
不是吧你发给他一张**图
Oh, no, you sent him a *** pic.
别哭了我真的太累了
Please stop crying. I'm so tired.
如果凌晨三点没起来的话
Maybe we'd all be better rested
我们会休息得更好
if we hadn't woken up at 3:00 A.M.
我很抱歉之前我从来没有过
I'm sorry, I've never slept
睡觉的时候头发里有糖浆
with syrup in my hair before.
我不知道会发生那种情况
I didn't know that was gonna happen.
蚂蚁床上有蚂蚁
Ants! Ants in the bed!
-是谁 -床上有蚂蚁
- Who? - There's ants in the bed!
-到处是蚂蚁 -有蚂蚁
- There's ants! - There's ants!
我的报告就在今天
My presentation is today,
我不想戴着浴帽出现
and I am not showing up in a shower cap.
我们该怎么办
What are we gonna do?
只剩下一件事
There's only one thing left to do.
我们用吹风机把这些贱♥人♥吹到死
We're gonna blow-dry these sons of bitches straight to hell.
34分钟后
必须得说很有效果
Got to say, worked great.
尽管我感觉我的头发看上去比你好点
Although I guess my hair took it a little better than yours.
怎么戴眼镜了
And why the glasses?
在我吹头发的时候
Mac knocked my last contacts into
麦克把我最后的隐形眼镜扔进马桶了
the toilet while I was blow-drying.
不得不服他效果拔群的恶作剧
Got to hand it to him, it's a solid prank.
但我必须得说这个造型很适合你
Although I must say, this look kind of works for you.
杰克我们没时间满足你的书呆子性癖了
Jake, we don't have time for your nerd fetish.
我们绝对会迟到
We are so late.
我知道
I know. You know.
我们不要再浪费时间找保姆
Let's not waste any more time looking for babysitters.
我们带麦克去上班好了
We'll just take Mac into work with us.
瞧小艾我们能搞定
See, Ames, we got this.
肯定不会有难度
Yeah, this is not gonna be hard.
你想知道原因吗因为我们是超称职爸妈
You want to know why? 'Cause we're great parents.
其实我们忘带麦克了把孩子落家里了
In fact, we forgot Mac. We left our child inside.
快掏钥匙
Uh, get the keys.
我先照看麦克
Okay, I'll take Mac first
好让你开始练习报告
so you can start practicing your presentation.
-好 -杰克
- Okay. - Jake, I think
我好像破解那个工具箱了
I figured something out about the toolbox.
-什么工具箱 -弗兰则亚给我寄了个工具箱
- Toolbox? - Franzia sent me a toolbox.
原来是个解谜游戏真的好无聊哦
It turned out to be a puzzle. It was so boring.
查尔斯那并不无聊我知道你在干嘛
Charles, it wasn't boring. I know what you're doing.
-直接告诉我怎么回事吧 -好我检测了指纹
- Just tell me what happened. - Okay, so I ran it for prints.
发现扳手上有部分指纹
And there was a partial on the wrench.
主人是个叫埃里克·马什的男人
It belongs to a guy named Eric Marsh
他在受害人的大楼里当杂务工
who works as a handyman in the victim's building.
-我们必须把他带回局里 -已带
- We have to bring him in. - Already done.
他现在在审问室里
He's in interrogation right now,