黑色星期一

Black Monday S03E10

Part 5 Aug. 5, 2021, 9:17 a.m.

my perfect life with Roger,
我心中有了一个执念
I became somewhat obsessed
要夺走他从我这里夺走的东西
with taking from him what he took from me.
所有暑假在爸爸赞助的步♥枪♥协会
All those summers spent at daddy's NRA-sponsored
大枪小尼姑训练营真的很有效
Big Guns, Little Nuns Camp really paid off.
遗憾的是没杀死布莱尔反而让他变得更强
Sadly, what didn't kill Blair made him stronger.
所以我调高了布莱尔
So then I tried to rig Blair's
点击治疗时的电压
electroshock therapy equipment
想送他去地狱
to send him to hell,
但结果却把那个魔鬼伊贡医生送上了西天
but it ended up taking that devil Dr. Egon instead.
那你的父亲呢纽威尔牧师
Well, what about your father, Pastor Newell?
作为另一个导致我家罗杰
As the other person who is responsible
死亡的人爸爸必须死
for my Roger's death, Daddy had to go.
当布莱尔射中了电视里的他时
When Blair shot him on TV,
我无法阻止模仿的冲动
I mean, I couldn't resist life imitating art.
我觉得你理解错了模仿的意义
I don't think it works like that.
然后在我父亲的葬礼上
Then at my father's funeral,
你当着我的面撒谎
when you lied to my face
保全了我父亲残忍♥的传承
and defended my father's cruel legacy,
对我必须出手做点什么
yes, I had to do something.
但那个可怜无辜的路人
But that poor, innocent bystander--
没有人说过
No one here said
一切都很完美好吗
that this all went down perfectly, okay?
在我进行这一切的过程中
I mean, there were definitely some whoopsie-daisies
难免有小差错
along the way-sies.
-当然小差错 -我经常出错
- No, whoopsie-daisies. - I have them all the time.
我杀了我爸
I killed my dad.
-等等什么 -布莱尔
- Wait, what? - Oh, Blair.
-是不是很释放 -那可怜的韦恩呢
- Wasn't it liberating? - And poor Wayne?
那个汽车炸♥弹♥本来是要炸死你们所有人
That car bomb was meant for all of you.
但只杀了韦恩
But it only killed Wayne.
我没有杀死布莱克默太太
Now, I didn't kill Mrs. Blackmore,
但我得承认当我看到
but I have to admit, it killed me to read
布莱尔悲惨光环上又死人时我高兴坏了
that yet another person had died in Blair's tragic orbit.
很不幸她的死葬送了我家法夫时尚的上市
And unfortunately, her death did kill my Pfaffashions IPO
以及荣耀电台的复活
and HGTV's chance of revival,
所以我杀了拉瑞·雷曼
which is why I killed Larry Leighman.
但你为什么把他的头割下来
But why'd you cut his head off?
-还有他的老二 -是个巧合
- And his dick? - Happy accident.
我进去时发现他在自♥慰♥
I walked in on him masturbating
还边用钢琴线勒住自己男人都爱这样
while choking himself with piano wire, as men do.
对窒息式撸管
Yeah, autoerotic asphyxiation.
在我开枪打死他后
And after I shot him,
死前的最后挣扎
that last sweet death rattle
导致他手一滑砍下了自己的...
caused him to pop and lop his own...
头和龟♥头♥
heads off.
天呐
Oh, God.
-把自己的老二扯下来了对吧 -没错
- Tore his dick right off, did he? - That's right.
他是在电梯里撸管吗
He was, like, jerking off in the elevator,
还是他在撸管然后你...
or he was jerking off and then you--
不我把他放进电梯来吓唬你们
No, I put him in the elevator to scare you.
非常有用
It worked.
-效果显著 -我都快吓死了
- That was very effective. - I was terrified.
然后还有蒂芙
And then there's Tiff.
突然间她过上了我应该拥有的生活
Suddenly she's living the life that I was promised.
美丽性感成功嫁给了一个英俊
Smokin' hot, successful, married to a handsome,
-体贴而且性方面... -永不满足
- loving yet sexually... - Undemanding?
对永不满足的国会议员
Yes, undemanding congressmen,
但她却觉得是理所当然
but she took it all for granted.
所以没错我把她放到了该去的地方
And so, yes, I put her in her place.
地下
The ground.
好吧有点误导但我喜欢
Okay, a little misdirect, but I like that.
所以说到底
So, in the end,
这并不是他们的错
it really wasn't any of their faults.
真的只是我的错
It was truly just mine.
你忘记了是谁造就了你
You're forgetting all the people who made you...
现...在...的...你
who...you...are.
拜托各位
Come on, y'all,
跟我一起倒数计时吧
help me count down the New Year.
我们一起迎接90年代怎么样
Let's ring in the '90s together, huh?
而现在
And now...
十
Ten...
大结局
...the grand finale.
九
...nine...
-好吧 -我有个问题
- Okay. - I have a question.
我们昨晚都在这里
We were all together last night.
你怎么不昨天杀了我们
Why didn't you just kill us then?
-我有事 -真的假的
- I had a thing. - Really?
-没错 -计划不能改
- That's right. - Ah, schedules are schedules.
四三
...four...three...
你们都知道我得跟我的垃圾朋友
Now y'all know I had to celebrate this shitty
一起庆祝这个垃圾新年代
new decade with my shitty friends.
不无论我做过什么对不起
No! Whatever I did, I'm sorry!
天呐天呐天呐
Oh, my God, oh, my God. Oh, my God.
这位女士是所有事情的幕后黑手吗
This fine-ass lady's the one who's been doin' all this?
对我说了是个女人
Yes, told you it'd be a girl.
你叫什么
What's your name?
珂琦
Corkie.
动机是什么珂琦
What's the motive, Corkie?
-你♥他♥妈♥的 -主要是因为我
- Are you fuck-- - Mostly me.
她疯了你认真的吗
She's out of her fucking gourd. Are you serious?
我刚在里面从头到尾讲了一边
I just went over everything already inside.
我刚才没在里面没听到
I wasn't in there for that.
你想从头再说一次吗
Do you wanna run it from the top?
-给我闭嘴 -不太想
- Just shut up! - I'd rather not.
你们都听到了她说的
You guys got to hear the story!
听着疯婆娘你说对了一件事
Look, crazy, you were right about one thing.
没人注意摄像师
No one pays attention to the videographer
或他的相机
or his camera.
没错
That's right.
我们录下了你的所有招供女士
We got your whole confession on tape, lady.
-别告诉她 -别告诉她这点
- Don't tell her. - Don't tell her that.
就像我们计划的一样计划男孩
Just like we planned. The plan boys!
你射得很准
You're a good shot.
好吧我觉得到此为止了大伙
Okay. I think this is it, gang.
不不不不
No. No, no, no.
你想惩罚我对吧
It's me you wanna punish, right?
-所以所以放了他们 -对
- So--so just let them go. - Yeah.
我我一直说想用自己的生命做点好事
I--I keep saying I wanna do something good with my life,
这就是好事
and this would be something good.
而且没了蒂芙和罗杰我活着还有什么意义
And without Tiff and Roger, what's the point of anything?
所以
So...
开枪吧珂琦
just have at it, Corks.
我感觉我该承担部分责任知道吗
I kinda feel like I share some of the blame, you know?
-你没事 -毕竟我乔治纳好戏
- Oh, you're fine. - Since I-- the whole Georgina play
还有一切都偏移了轨迹
and everything just took a hard left.
我真的很抱歉
I'm really sorry.
我猜我不是个优秀的计划男孩
I guess I'm not a great plan boy.
没事我爱你们
It's okay. I love you guys.
我也爱你
Love you too.
知道吗
You know what?
我不会杀你布莱尔
I'm not gonna kill you, Blair.
-什么 -不是第一个
- What? - Not first.
你是这群人里面
You're the least sympathetic member
最没同情心的了
of this cast of characters.
但道恩说起来
Now, Dawn, on the other hand--
不
No!
老蒙
Mo!
天呐不不要
Oh, my God! No! No!
你在干什么老蒙
What are you doing, Mo?
我说了我不需要你救我