黑色星期一

Black Monday S03E05

Part 2 July 14, 2021, 5:36 p.m.

如今那只是犹太人针对自己的犯罪
Now, that was just Jew-on-Jew crime,
但是今天你不能排除任何人
but today you can't rule anyone out.
别担心我们会抓到他
But don't worry. We'll find him.
我可能有点口误你应该担心
I might have misspoken there. You should worry.
有人想杀了你
Somebody's out to kill you.
但是也许别太担心
But maybe not too much.
试着去找到一个愉悦的平衡
Try to find a happy balance.
沃纳
Werner?
宝贝我错了我真的错了
Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
我以为你在叫我的名字"诺米"
I thought you were yelling, "Nomi."
我说的是 "不要诺米不要"
I was saying, "No, Nomi, no."
-你觉得这很搞笑吗 -一点点
- You think this is funny? - A little bit.
宝贝求你我请来了纽约最棒的弦乐队
Baby, come on, I booked the best string section in New York
还能制♥作♥一首由克劳斯·平克沃特
along with commissioning a-a song to be arranged
作词作曲的新歌♥
and composed by fucking Klaus Pinkwater.
我很抱歉我只是依然有点惊讶
I'm sorry, I'm-I'm still just a little shook.
-别再有任何惊喜了好吗 -没了
- Just no more surprises, okay? - No, no, no,
一个都没了
no more surprises.
生日快乐姐妹
Oh, happy birthday, girl!
-快抱一下 -瞧瞧你
- Bring it in. - Hey, look at you!
等等等等等等等等等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
你怎么在这
Why are you in here?
现在是什么情况
And what the fuck is happening here?
我是来拿工资的
Well, I'm here to pick up my paycheck,
一周380美元
and at $380 a week,
你比大多数老板更能折腾你的秘书
you're screwing your secretaries harder than most bosses,
不过这是指钱不是床上
except out of money and not in the ass.
每周才380美元这两点你都能抱怨
Mm, well, at $380 a week, you could argue it's both.
我的姐妹
Ah, my girl!
而且我在这是因为我知道
And I'm in here because I know
你把所有的好酒
this is where you keep all the good...
都藏在这
...booze.
但是既然你们来了
But since you guys are here,
我给诺米准备了一份超棒的生日混音带
I made Nomi a bomb-ass birthday mix.
-什么不会吧 -没错
- What? No. - Yes.
我没懂发生什么了
I don't--what's happening?
当你告诉我是道恩
Well, when you told me Dawn was the one
让我上电台时我送了她感谢混音带
who got me put on the radio, I made her a thank-you mix.
我们从那时候开始互送了四次
And we've been trading back and forth ever since.
而且我们对音乐的喜好也一样
Turns out, we've got the same taste in tunes.
也包括其他的
Among other things.
上帝看看他诺米
Oh, God, look at him, Nomi.
耳朵里快喷出蒸汽了
Steam's about to blast out of his ears
就像《电脑娃娃》里那个小机器人
like that little robot bitch from Small Wonder.
85年至89年在美国播出的热门情景喜剧
我讨厌那部剧
Oh, I hate that show.
为什么没人觉得这事很操蛋一个中年男人
How does no one find it fucked that a middle-aged man
造出一个生理构造正确的小女孩
built an anatomically correct young girl
-还让她做家务和... -烂片
- to do housework and ... - It's shit.
还穿着红色百褶短裙
...in a small, frilly fucking red dress?
每个人都很他妈讨厌《电脑娃娃》
Everybody fucking hates Small Wonder.
-天啊 -冷静点老蒙好吗
- Whoa. - Just chill, Mo, all right?
没关系的
It's cool.
但问题是你根本没跟我说这件事
But what's not cool is you not telling me about this.
听着当我们在录小样的时候
Look, when we recorded that demo,
那是我这辈子的第一次录制
that was my first time recording anything ever,
现在你竟然让我过去
and now you want me to go out there
和那些专业人士一起录音吗
and record with these pros?
宝贝你就是一位专家好吗
Babe, you're a pro, okay?
你从一开始就是专家
You were a pro from go.
听着你才是今天的焦点好吗
But listen, this day is about you, okay?
如果你想摆脱这些和道恩一起喝奶昔
If you wanna ditch this shit and split a milkshake with Dawn
再聊聊我的魔力大屌♥
and talk about my magic dick
虽然此时我正备受煎熬
while I quietly light myself on fire,
没关系快去这是你的派对
no, go ahead; it's your party.
我懂了
Oh, boy, I get it.
看起来是典型的老蒙搞砸了
Looks like a classic Mo fuckup.
相信我这家伙搞砸了的次数
Trust me, this guy fucks up
比马操长颈鹿还频繁
more than a horse banging a giraffe.
但是
But?
但这也是我见到这个逼人
But this-this might also be the most thoughtful fuckup
干过最贴心的操蛋事了
I've ever seen this fuckup make.
你的男人花了大价钱姐妹
Your man takes big swings, girl,
因为他爱你
'cause he loves you.
去它的我加入
Fuck it. I'm in.
-太棒了 -只有一个条件
- Great! - On one condition.
道恩能请你留下来吗
Dawn, can you please stay?
不仅仅因为你在音乐上了解我
I mean, not only do you get me musically,
而且有一位女性朋友在身边真的很好
but it'd be nice to have a lady friend around.
好吧那就让我们去他妈的一切吧
Okay, okay, well, I guess then "Fuck its" all around.
去他妈的一切太棒了
Hey, "Fuck its" all around, great.
让我们去创作一些牛逼的
Okay, now let's go make some kickass...
抒情爵士
smooth jazz!
真的吗 380美元
Really, $380?
拯救这个烂摊子的人
The guy who cleans the shit makes...
真正拥有了一份工作
Actually has a job.
没错我在做我的工作行吧
Oh, I'm doing a job, all right.
-你的工作是什么 -我正在努力让
- What's your job here? - I'm pretty much keeping
你的操蛋感情生活远离这摊烂事
your fucking relationship out of the shit.
快擦擦你的鼻子
Wipe your nose.
去你的
Fuck you.
法夫时尚
蒂芙我们需要谈谈
Tiff, we need to talk.
快点聊因为珂琦
Ugh, make it quick, 'cause I'm just under
想法
给我太大的压力
so much pressure from Corkie.
嗯我也是被拉瑞搞得但是
Yeah, me, too, with Larry, but--
我就是很不习惯那么拼命工作
I'm just not used to working so hard
或者说就是不习惯工作
or working, full stop.
恕我直言让那个死人滚他妈的蛋
Listen, all due, fuck that dead loser.
那现在是荣耀电台的事了
That's HGTV's problem.
还有操♥他♥妈♥的荣耀电台
And also, fuck HGTV.
我们有更大的客户群体可以推销
We've got a much bigger set of customers we can sell to,
但如果我们的广♥告♥宗教性质太浓
and if we make our ad too religious,
就有可能丢失客户
we might lose it.
但只有教堂才会买♥♥宽摆裙
But only churches buy Skants.
我之前也是这么以为的
That's what I thought too.
后来我看了一下销♥售♥数据
Then I checked the sales data
然后发现了一个很有趣的购买♥♥人群
and, uh, found a pretty interesting demographic.
猫猫屋
-泡同性恋酒吧的孩子 -对仔细看看
- Gay club kids? - Yeah, but look closer.
视线跟屁♥股♥齐平的话
From an ass-eye view,
这些酒吧女王都穿着宽摆裙
all these club queens are Skants-ily clad.
基斯你知道这意味着什么吗
Keith, do you have any idea what this means?
所有人都知道任何穿衣风格都是始于基佬
Everyone knows that style trends start with the gays
终于喜剧片编剧
and end with television comedy writers.
正是所以我们何必担心一个死人
Exactly, so why are we worried about a dead guy
我们公♥司♥明明应该关注活生生的基佬
when our company should be focused on live gays?
-基斯 -迈克
- Keith? - Mike!
你怎么在这里
Oh, what are you doing here?
蒂芙·乔治纳-法夫
Tiff Georgina-Pfaff?
他妈是蒂·乔-法夫本尊
It's TG fucking PF.
我简直不敢相信
I can't even.
看到全美最受关注的被绑牛仔布继承人
When America's most kidnapped denim heiress
在荣耀电台上哭泣我再也不着迷于
cried on HGTV, it completely changed the way
在公众面前崩溃了
I obsess over public meltdowns.
你一定要来看看这个
We have something you need to see.
一个同性恋的偶像一个装直的基佬
A gay icon and passing straight realness.
你真是在全力以赴
You're pulling out all the stops.
这项圈不错
I like the dog collar.
-汪汪 -基斯快看
- Oh, woof, woof. - Keith, look!
他们装扮的都是我的样子
They're all me!