剧集 | 黑色星期一 | 导航列表
酒吧收费 而且我们的虾快没了
it's a cash bar, and we're almost out of shrimps.
哪个贱♥人♥把我的虾都吃光了
Who the fuck is eating all the goddamn shrimps?
阿妮塔 贱♥人♥ 我知道是你
Anita, bitch, I know it's you.
你盘子里有四只虾
You got four shrimp on your plate!
冷静 宝贝
Calm down, baby.
天地良心 你 赶紧去
For Christ's sake. Now you, go!
带一个摄像师一起去
And grab one of those videographers
-全部都录下来 -好主意
- to get it all on tape. - Good idea.
他可能杀了我 你知道吗
He could kill me. You realize that?
对 但我们就录下了他杀你的场景
Yeah, but then we would have him killing you on tape.
录下来
On tape.
我 我只是
I--I just--
-把你手♥机♥给我 -什么
- Give me your phone. - What?
我要拨给老蒙
I'm calling Mo.
手♥机♥一直开着 放在口袋里
Keep your phone open in your pocket.
手♥机♥一直保持通话放在口袋里
You keep this phone open in your pocket,
如果有什么问题
and then if there's a problem,
就说话 我们就来找你
just say the word, and we'll come get you.
-像安全词吗 好的 -对
- Like a safe word? Okay. - Yeah.
好吧 那比如是...
All right. So what if it's like a--
阴♥户♥ 没得商量
Punani, non-negotiable.
-她是新娘 -阴♥户♥ 不不不
- She's the bride! - Punani? No, no, no.
你想让我死的时候听上去像个变♥态♥
You want me to die sounding like a fucking asshole.
这就是你的生活 宝贝
Well, it's how you live, baby.
知道吗 我不想干
You know what? I don't wanna do this.
-你想成为计划男孩吗 -对 你想成为计划男孩吗
- You wanna be a plan boy? - Yeah, you wanna be a plan boy?
真的吗
Like, for real?
你可以直接干 或用性♥爱♥换
You can get jumped in or sexed in.
想想吧
Think about it.
好吧 我去干 看我的
All right, I'll fucking do it. Watch me.
哥们 跟我来 来吧
Hey, buddy, come with me. Come on.
准备好 因为我们今晚
Get ready, because we're about
就要爆了那菊花
to bust that ass wide open tonight.
前面不香吗 道恩
What's wrong with the front, Dawn?
那个我也要操
I'ma fuck that too.
到这里来
Now come on in here.
我想让你藏在厨房♥里
I want you to hide in the kitchen
无论如何都不要停止录制
and don't stop rolling no matter what.
把我拍进双人镜头 或摇摆镜头
Keep me in a two shot or a swingle.
去去去 赶紧 安静
Go, go, go, go. Quick. Be quiet.
你在这啊 你在躲着我吗
There you are. Are you hiding from me?
没有
No.
这不全是因为你 道恩 好吗
It's not all about you, Dawn, all right?
这也是我的假结婚
This is my sham wedding day too.
好吧
Okay.
那你现在想谈谈誓言了吗
So you wanna talk about those vows now?
你是说我的"拜拜喵"那段
Oh, you mean how my "ay, dios meow" line
秒杀众人吗
killed 'em out there?
不 我是说你爱我
No, I mean, you love me.
你爱我
You love me.
拜托 老蒙 承认吧
Come on, Mo. Just admit it.
你爱我
You love me.
我...
I...
-怎么了 -亚西尔
- What's up? - Hey, Yassir.
怎么样了 哥们
What's going on? Hey, man.
我有个小小的坏消息
I got a little bit of bad news.
我刚跟卖♥♥货的上线谈了 这个猪头
I just spoke to my dealer, and this dumbass
把硫喷妥钠和磷酸二酯酶搞错了
mixed up the pentathol with phosphodiesterase.
等等 磷酸二什么的是什么
Wait, what's phosphodi--
是阳痿药
It's a boner killer.
对 能阻止勃能 就是勃起功能
Yeah, it prevents EF, erectile function.
为什么会有人卖♥♥这玩意 亚西尔
Why the hell would somebody sell that, Yassir?
我哪知道
I don't know!
他为什么卖♥♥吐真剂
Why would he sell truth serum?
这家伙啥都卖♥♥ 老哥
Dude's full service, bro.
有他是我们的幸运
We're lucky to have him.
这是永久的吗
Is it permanent?
你在乎个什么劲 你只想搞我的屁♥股♥
What do you care? You just wanna do butt stuff.
那...
Ooh, that--
基斯
Keith.
莱尼 我们需要谈谈
Lenny, we need to talk.
我们需要谈谈
Oh, we need to talk.
当然 我可以消磨点时间
Sure, I've got some time to kill.
不好意思
I'm sorry.
我希望这个威胁不会太突兀
I hope that threat was not too bald.
我希望你享受了自己作为雷曼的时光
I hope you enjoyed your time as a Leighman
因为你知道人们常说什么
because you know what they say.
今朝"有发"明日秃
"Hair" today, gone tomorrow.
今晚后 谁知道你会去哪[与砍头同音]After this, who knows where you'll "beheaded."
抱歉 你这些威胁的双关都是提前想好的吗
I'm sorry, do you have all those menacing puns, like, preloaded,
因为我感觉大家来的时候
'cause I feel like everyone's coming to the table
都自带猛料 我都听不懂 得回家
with a lot of stuff, and I don't ever, like, go home
-细细品味才... -对 基斯
- and think about-- - Yeah, Keith,
我梦想这一刻很久了
I have been dreaming about this moment
自从 硬要说的话 大概是
ever since, if I had to say, probably back around the time
在我看着狼咬下我的老二时开始
when I watched a wolf gnaw off my penis!
但这事与我无关
Which I had nothing to do with,
只是想声明一下
just for the record.
让我猜猜 你想复仇
So let me guess, you want revenge.
我感觉自己已经表现地很明显了
I feel like I've been super upfront about that.
所以你杀了那些人
So that's why you killed all those people.
对吧
Right?
什么 什么人 基斯
What--what people, Keith?
我已经复仇成功了
I have already gotten my revenge
光是来到这里
by showing up here
并如此玉树临风就成功了
and looking like a million freaking dollars.
因为我们都知道
'Cause as we all know,
最好的复仇就是帅
the best revenge is looking good.
所以你没杀那些人吗
So you didn't kill all those people?
没有
No.
你不是杀手
You're not the killer?
基斯 这里的唯一杀手是我羡煞人的身材
Keith, the only killer here is my killer bod.
见鬼 阴♥户♥
Fuck! Punani!
阴♥户♥ 阴♥户♥
Punani! Punani!
想得美 基斯
Ha-ha, nice try, Keith,
但我是永生的
but I am an immortal,
杀不死的神
unkillable fucking god!
阴♥户♥
Punani!
阴♥户♥ 阴♥户♥
Punani! Punani?
-阴♥户♥ -阴♥户♥
- Punani. - Punani?
-阴♥户♥ -阴♥户♥
- Punani! - Punani!
见鬼
Holy shit.
结束了 基斯 你做到了
It's over. Keith, you did it.
大伙儿 这不是我♥干♥的
Guys, I didn't do it.
-那是谁 -是我
- Who did? - I did.
你是谁...
And you are...
我还是...
I still...
珂琦
Corkie!
-我就知道是个女人 -没错
- I knew it was a girl! - That's right.
从没有人注意摄像师
No one ever pays attention to the videographer.
现在看看你们能否猜对谁下一个死
Now let's see if you can guess who gets to die next.
我很肯定是布莱尔
I'm pretty sure it's gonna be Blair.
反正不是我
It's not me.
这是个反问句
It was a rhetorical question.
你们全都要死 真是的
All of you. God bless it.
你们从来不闭嘴
You people never shush!
珂琦 你难道不想跟我们说说
Corkie, don't you wanna take us through
你是怎么做到这些以及其中原因吗
the how and why of all of this just for funsies?
我还以为你不会问呢
I thought you'd never ask.
在布莱尔轻易地毁了
After Blair so casually destroyed
我与罗杰的完美生活后
剧集 | 黑色星期一 | 导航列表