黑色星期一

Black Monday S03E03

Part 5 June 23, 2021, 12:22 p.m.

I don't need all the details.
插头会干这活
The plugs do a lot of the work.
你很悲催对吧
You're miserable. Right?
听我一句吧基斯
Well, take it from me, Keith,
在你还有机会时退出
get out while you still can.
你好女士我是
Hello, madam. I'm--
我知道你是谁
Oh, I know who you are.
你是布莱尔·法夫
You're Blair Pfaff!
你正好赶上了猎鸭马拉松
You're just in time for the duck-athlon.
猎杀最多可爱小鸭子的选手
Whoever shoots the most cute little ducklings
能登上《今日全国步♥枪♥协会》封面
gets their picture on the cover of NRA Today.
-好极了 -我看看
- Awesome. - Now, let's see.
这是你的枪
Here is your gun.
-给你 -谢谢
- Here you are. - Thank you.
还有你的背心一定要穿好了
Oh, and your vest. Keep that baby on.
我们这些妻子团称这个项目为寡妇制♥造♥机
Us wives like to call this event the Widowmaker
因为有时会出一些"啊噢"小状况
due to the occasional oopsie-doopsie.
天呐谢谢你的可怕提醒
Oh, wow, thank you for that terrifying tip.
你能告诉我
Could you point me in the direction
查尔顿·海斯顿先生在哪吗
of a Mr. Charlton Heston, please?
他就在那
Oh, he's right over there.
谢谢
Thank you.
海斯顿先生我只想说
Mr. Heston. I just wanna say,
我非常崇拜
I am such a fan of--
纽威尔牧师
Pastor Newell!
惊喜惊喜
Surprise, surprise.
-你回来了 -我回来了
- Ah, you're back. - I'm back.
怎么是你的假释官什么的吗
What, is your PO here or something?
不我想告诉你一些事
No, I wanted to tell you something,
我不想在你的答录机上说
and I didn't wanna do it on your machine.
很好但我想先跟你
That's great, but I kinda wanna talk to you
说点事好吗
about something first, okay?
我想告诉你一些事
I wanted to tell you something.
不不我们先坐
No, no, no, just have a seat.
我是说好吧行
I mean--okay, okay. Yeah.
听着我知道你对这一切心存不满
Listen, I know you're not fine with all of this.
好吗我想
Okay? And I'm sure
我或许也没帮上忙
I probably didn't help matters either.
好吧说真的我没事
Okay. Truly, I am fine.
道恩别装了亚西告诉我
Dawn, c'mon, Yas told me
你在电台跟假释官说的话了
what you told your PO at the station.
什么不不不
Oh, what? No, no, no.
我是在耍她
I was playing her.
我只需要让她相信仅此而已
I-I just needed to cover fast, that's all.
好吧道恩拨动从前的心弦啊
Okay. Dawn pulling on the old heartstring, huh?
你懂的
You know.
-手段女王达西 -名♥师♥出高徒
- Dirty Darcy. - I learned from the best.
那你确定你不嫉妒吗
So you're sure you're not jealous?
我当然嫉妒我嫉妒的要死
Well, yeah, I'm jealous. I'm jealous as fuck.
-我就这个意思 -我是嫉妒你老蒙
- Well, that's what I'm saying. - No, I'm jealous of you, Mo.
因为你做到了你振作了
Because you did it. You figured your shit out.
我我还在假释
Me, I'm on parole,
睡在折叠床上
sleeping in a fucked-up Murphy bed.
我都不知道
I don't know what the fuck
下半辈子要干什么
I'm gonna do for the rest of my life.
不别这样好吗
No, don't. Okay?
你就相信我说的这是我最后一次说
Just believe me when I say, for the very last time,
我对你的未婚妻没意见
I am fine with your fiancée.
因为我爱你蒙蒙
Because I-I love you, Mo Mo.
-我也爱你道恩 -好
- I love you too, Dawn. - Yeah.
等等我要证明
Oh, wait. I'm gonna prove it.
什么你在干什么
What? What are you doing?
你在逗我吗
Are you fucking kidding me?
这是...你做到了
This is... You did this?
你怎么做到的
How did you do this?
用我认识的老蒙以前用的手段
The way the old Mo I used to know would've done it:
玩阴的
playing dirty.
四百播一次但不是上下班高峰
$400 a spin, and not during drive time.
我钱包里只有83块
I only have $83 in my purse.
你是说你的古琦包吗
You mean your Gucci purse?
你欠我一个假古琦
You owe me a fake Gucci.
见鬼道恩
Goddamn it, Dawn,
我不想这样做生意
I don't wanna run my fucking business like that.
-这是个正经买♥♥卖♥♥ -你没做好吗是我
- This is a legit business. - You didn't, okay? I did.
你为什么这么做你为什么逼我这么做
Why did you do that? Why would you make me do that?
把这个当作订婚礼物吧
Just consider it an engagement gift.
那是...老蒙我上电台了吗
Is that--Mo, I'm on the radio?
-你上电台了 -我上电台了
- You're on the radio. - I'm on the radio?
太棒了你做到了
Yeah. You did it.
-其实道恩 -对你做到了
- Well, I mean, Dawn-- - Yes, you did.
太好了老蒙
It's great, Mo.
-恭喜宝贝 -谢谢宝贝
- Congrats, babe. - Aw, thanks, babe.
听着真不错
Wow. Sounds so good.
你在这干什么海斯顿呢
What are you doing here? Where's Heston?
查克必须看完《新豪门恩怨》
Well, Chucky had to finish up his arc on Dynasty,
所以我答应我的好朋友来审查你
so I promised my dear friend that I'd vet you.
现在给我听好了混♥蛋♥
Now pick up your ears, prick.
我需要你进行一些立法
I need you to introduce some legislation
好让教堂拥有空中管治权
so that churches can own air rights.
我厌倦了来回飞行
I am tired of circling around
好让他们空运救治一些光头小子了
so they can medevac some bald kid.
不我不干
Nah, I'm not doing that.
别忘了我造就了你小子
Don't forget I made you, son.
得了吧我造就了自己
Oh, please. I made me.
然后我中枪了死了11分钟
Then I got shot, died for 11 minutes,
之后死而复生感觉更好了
and came back to life even fucking better.
我基本就是耶稣只是头发更多
I'm basically like Jesus with more manageable hair.
还是白人不像真正的耶稣
And white, unlike the actual Jesus,
根据大量地质考察
who, according to overwhelming geographic
和基因证据是黑人
and genetic evidence, was Black.
你这是亵渎上帝拜托
That's blasphemous. C'mon.
我只想要一些等价交换
All I'm looking for is a little quid pro quo.
就想跟罗杰一样
Just like with Roger,
只是这一次没人会受伤
only this time, no one gets hurt,
除了或许那个职业心理医生
except maybe the occasional therapist.
天呐是你干的
Oh, my God. It was you.
我吗当然不
Moi? No.
但我问了我在
But I spoke to my little friend
-停尸房♥的小朋友 -不意外
- down at the morgue.. - That tracks.
那些被动了手脚的电流
...that those electrodes were rigged
能把人电爆♥炸♥
to elect-splode.
问题是那些本来是想炸了他还是炸你
Now, the question is, were they meant to fry him or you?
去你的奇迹双面麦克斯混球
Fuck you, you Miracle Max Headroom motherfucker.
如果成为下一任副总统丹·奎尔意味着又要与你
If being the next Dan Quayle means having to get in bed
狼狈为奸那去他妈的我不干了
with you again, then fuck it, I'm through.
这是为了罗杰
This is for Roger.
啊噢
Oopsie-doopsie.
瞧瞧
Oh, look at that.
说茄子杀手
Say cheese, killer.