黑色星期一

Black Monday S03E04

Part 5 June 26, 2021, 10:46 a.m.

真的吗
Really?
如果你能说出关于我爸的真♥相♥
If...you tell the truth about my dad.
世界需要知道他是个禽兽
The world needs to know that he was a monster.
谢谢
Thank you.
-她信了 -对
- She buy it? - Yeah.
来吧
Come on.
好吧或许开胃菜
Okay, well, I mean, probably the appetizers
都变凉了对吧
are probably getting a little cold, right?
我们去餐桌吧
Let's take it to the table.
不要嘛我喜欢这首歌♥
Come on, I love this song.
或许道恩可以不用跳这支舞
Maybe Dawn could just sit this one out.
-好很乐意 -不不不
- Oh, yes, gladly. - Oh, oh, no, no, no.
她刚说她要去厕所所以
She told me that she's gotta go to the bathroom, so yeah.
听上去是亚西尔的工作
Sounds like a job for Yassir.
亚西尔给我滚开我能行
Yassir, back the fuck up. I got it.
好吧老蒙你搞什么
Okay. Mo, what the fuck?
今天一整晚你都表现怪异
You've been acting weird as hell all night.
好吧妈的我得告诉你真♥相♥了
Okay, shit, I'm just gonna tell you the truth.
-谢天谢地终于 -好谢谢
- Oh, thank God. Finally. - Great. Thank you.
当道恩这样转圈时
When Dawn spins around like this,
她就是尿急了
she really has to piss,
当她开始撒尿时会弄得到处都是
and when she goes she starts pissing everywhere,
我不想让尿沾到我们身上
and I don't want it to get all over us.
-这不是你的错 -好吧
- It's not your fault. - All right, okay.
不不不
No, no, no, no.
这样吧我走
All right, you know what? I'm out.
你们可以整晚朝彼此撒尿
You guys can just piss all over each other all night
我根本不在乎
for all I care.
祝订婚派对快乐
Happy engagement party.
诺米别这样诺米
Okay, Nomi, come on, Nomi.
-撒尿不是我的喜好 -诺米
- P-p-p-pissing's not my thing! - Nomi.
我保证我不喜欢
I promise I'm not into that.
我知道现在时机不佳
I-I know this is terrible timing,
但你能推我去厕所吗
but could you wheel me to the bathroom?
因为我尿急了
'Cause I actually do have to piss.
五秒后广♥告♥结束切回来
And we're back from commercial in five.
拿上纸巾我们在哭
Grab those tissues, we're crying.
四秒我们拿着钱包
Four. We're grabbing our wallets.
三秒记得给我们捐赠
Three. Remember to give us those donations.
二秒让中等水洗牛仔裤模特准备
Two. And cue the medium wash on stage.
我超爱罗恩帅极了
I love it, Ron, looking good.
我们就要把尸体拿出来了
We're about to bring out the body.
祝好运各位开始了
Good luck, everybody. Here we go.
我不知道你怎么做到的但谢谢
I don't know how you did it, but, thank you.
我以为这一切都要下地狱了
I mean, I thought this thing was gonna go to hell.
只有斯沃福德牧师要去
Well, now only Pastor Swafford is.
好让模特准备让模特准备
Okay, cue the models. Cue the models.
看看这玩意
Check this shit out.
展现出性感性感性感
Let's look sexy, sexy, sexy.
好好秀你们的牛仔裤
And let's show off that denim.
不好意思抬棺人在给法夫时尚做模特吗
I'm sorry, are the pallbearers modeling Pfaffashions?
对很聪明对吧免费广♥告♥
Yeah, it's genius, right? Free advertising.
荣耀电台直播
这东西占22%
This thing's gonna get a 22 share.
看着我们的销量要突破天际了
Watch, our sales are gonna skyrocket.
翘臀给我看看好样的
And show me that tushy. All right.
你真是个史无前例的烂人尚克
You really are a piece of shit, Shankar.
这个销♥售♥法能拯救你妻子的首次公开募股
Well, this POS is about to SOS your wife's IPO.
该你上场了
So it's time for you to go.
记住推销捐款
Remember, plug the donations.
我们就快达成目标了
We're close to our goal.
如果你能植入法夫时尚的广♥告♥ 那就太好了
And if you can slip in Pfaffashions, that would be great, okay?
在主祷文中吗
Into the Lord's Prayer?
你能做到祝好运去吧
You can do it. Break a leg. Go, go.
好极了赐我上帝之音倒数三二
Great, give me voice of God in three, two.
一有请为牧师致悼词的人
And now, to delivery the pastor's eulogy,
各位的议员
he's your congressman,
布莱尔·法夫
Blair... Pfaff!
污水厂
赶紧接话赶紧接话
Pick up your cues. Pick up your cues.
布莱尔·法夫
Blair Pfaff.
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen...
-一号♥摄像机 -我们团聚在此下葬牧师
- Camera one. - We gather here to bury a man.
有人说他是个伟人
Some would say a great man,
但事实是
but the truth is...
事实是
...the truth is...
事实是
...the truth is...
斯沃福德牧师...
Pastor Swafford was...
比伟人更伟大
so much more than that.
他是主信息的使者
He was a direct messenger of the Lord.
我感觉斯沃福德牧师复活
I feel Pastor Swafford rising up
就像我们的家庭价值观革命复活
just like our family values revolution is rising up
抵抗共♥产♥主义马♥克♥思♥主义
against the Communist, Marxist,
社♥会♥主♥义♥ 激进极左派
socialist, radical left.
来吧说"我早告诉你了"
Go ahead. Say, "I told you so."
不不
No. No.
听着她只需要今晚冷静冷静
Look, she just needs to cool down tonight.
明天你说出实话
Tomorrow, you'll come clean,
我确定她会理解
and I'm sure she will understand.
我希望你是对的
I hope you're right.
好吧
Okay.
谢了道恩
Thanks, Dawny.
再次感谢
Again.
不客气再次申明
You're welcome, again.
搞什么
What the fuck?
我能走路了
I can walk!
天呐简直是奇迹我能走路了
Oh my God! It's a miracle! I can walk!
哈利路亚赞美耶稣
Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!
确实要赞美耶稣
Praise Jesus indeed.
你能帮助我们度过这次劫难吗
Can you help us get over that heavenly hump?
你能避免吗
Can you spare it?
你能让我们别过一个没有领袖的生活
Can you spare us from a life without our leader?
举起手吧如果你能领我们到应许之地
Raise your hand if you can take us to the promised land!
没错没错
Yes, yes, yes, oh!
这是个奇迹是个奇迹
It's a miracle! It's a miracle!
讲台归你了斯沃福德牧师
Take it away, Pastor Swafford!
放录像
Cue the video.
大家我是我
Hello. It. Is. Me.
-纽威尔·斯沃福德牧师 -没错
- Newell Swafford, pastor. - Yes!
他复活了
我爱你们所有人
I love! All of you.
谢谢你们复活我
Thank you. For! Resurrecting me.
就像耶稣我要回家了
Like Jesus, I am going home.
回头见
See you soon.
上帝是美好的再见
God was nice. Good bye.
太棒了
Yes!
你们都值得感谢
You all deserve some thanks.
站起来吧站起来吧
Get on up here. Get on up here.
我们不配我们不配
We are not worthy! We are not worthy!
没有退款
No refunds.
感谢大家前来
Thanks for coming.
快逃
Run!
花花巢穴
该死诺米
Fuck. Nomi.
你在看什么
What you reading?
撸管杂♥志♥
It's a jerk mag.
我本来想来个老蒙手冲派对
I was gonna go have a little Mo party,
但现在我太难过了
but now I'm too sad.
停别动
Stop. Stop.
我不想要这些
I don't want this.
好吧我理解
Okay, I understand.
如果你腿受伤了都不告诉我
If you can't be real with me about a fucked up leg,