黑色星期一

Black Monday S03E08

Part 5 July 29, 2021, 1:21 p.m.

问题
Question...
-问吧 -抛下阳台是什么
- All right! - ...what is defenestration?
-珂琦 -天呐
- Corkie? - Oh, my God.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
-蒂芙怎么回事 -糟了
- Tiff, what happened? - Oh, no.
我辞职了
I quit my job.
珂琦不怎么喜欢
Corkie didn't love it.
你的道歉怎么样
How'd your apology go?
他们也不喜欢
They didn't love it either.
好吧
Okay.
至少我们还有彼此
Well, at least we have each other,
还有一堆水疗物品
and a shit ton of spa stuff.
对没错是吧
Yeah, we do, don't we?
-请把这个扔掉 -好
- Please remove that. - Yeah.
道妮你会及时回来
Dawnie, you're gonna be back in time
参加婚礼对吧
for the wedding, right?
对我已经订票了
Yes, I already booked my ticket,
我还写了
and I've got my, uh,
"如果有人反对"的演讲稿
if-anyone-objects speech written.
好的我想跟你坐一桌
All right. I want to be at your table.
不不我开玩笑的开玩笑
No, no, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
我非常为你开心小蒙蒙
You know, I'm really happy for you, Momo.
谢了
Aw, thanks.
天呐你们让危险的浪漫变得完全不可能
God, you guys put the "won't" in "will they, won't they."
听着必须有人这么做
Listen, somebody had to do it.
天地良心我们磨对方的力度
I mean, Jesus Christ, we've been grinding each other harder
-比我现在磨牙都狠 -天呐对
- than my teeth right now. - Oh, God, yes.
过去几年真是刺♥激♥ 对吧
The last few years have been a fucking ride, right?
说到这个你们记得那次
Speaking of which, do you guys remember that time
我用高尔夫球车把布莱尔撞倒吗
when I ran over Blair with a golf cart...
还是故意的
sort of on purpose?
这是你最成功的袭击[热单]
It was one of your greatest hits.
等等等等你们还记得老蒙
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, do you remember, Mo,
当你在交易楼层把白粉洒在了布莱尔身上
when you fully cocaine'd Blair on the trading room floor?
在他事业开始前就毁了一切
Ruining his career before it even got started!
-欢迎来到纽约 -高明的计划
- Welcome to New York! - Brilliant plan.
我们都知道这么做不对但没人帮他
And we all knew it was so wrong, but nobody helped him.
-我们都走了 -确实不好
- We were all gone. - It was bad.
还有那次
What about that time
他被迫接受电击治疗
he was forced into electroshock therapy
电走他的基佬属性对吧
to knock out his gayness, right?
然后他这辈子的挚爱自杀了
And then the love of his life just commits suicide,
随后他还利用这件事进入了国会
and then he uses that, you know, to get into Congress,
之后砰他中枪了
and then, bam, he gets shot!
差点死了
Almost dies!
太好笑了
So funny.
天呐我们真是坑死那傻小子了对吧
Jesus, we really did fuck that shithead over, huh?
对
Yeah.
见鬼你们跟我想的一样吗
Fuck, are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?
这趟回忆列车还差一位乘客
This trip down memory lane is missing a passenger.
没错
Yeah.
斯宾塞你的前夫我打给他
Spencer, your ex-husband. I-I'll call him.
只是我觉得你们俩会觉得尴尬
Just--I bet it's awkward for you two,
但我可以现在打给他然后说"斯宾塞"
but I can call right now and be like, "Spence!"
他会回答 "亚西尔亚西尔是你吗"
He'll be like, "Yassir, Yassir, is that you?"
-你有什么毛病老兄 -你干嘛说这些
- What's wrong with you, man? - Why would you say that?
我们太想成为强大夫妇了
We wanted to be a power couple so bad.
我们只注重了强大
All we focused on was the power.
我们忘了夫妇
We forgot about the couple.
但我们的强大来自夫妇
And our power was the couple.
-我想念我们 -对
- I missed us. - Yeah.
我们做个约定吧
Let's make a pact.
如果我们离婚时
If we're not engaged to new people
还没有与新的人订婚我们就重新结婚
by the time we get divorced, we'll get remarried.
成交好了说吧猛♥男♥
Deal. Okay, now, spill it, Valdez.
你在跟谁约会恋爱上♥床♥
Who are you dating, loving, fucking?
就是偶尔跟实习生鬼混
You know, just the occasional intern,
但没有任何意义
but it doesn't really mean anything.
就像当他们被我的笑话逗乐时
It's like when they laugh at my jokes.
好像他们这么做只是因为我是老板
Like, are they just doing it because I'm their boss?
可能是
Hmm, probably.
不没什么认真的人自从...
No, there's really been nobody serious since--
罗杰吗
Roger?
你真的很想他对吧
Oh, you really miss him, huh?
对是的
Yeah, I do.
那不是你的错布莱尔
It wasn't your fault, Blair.
其实还真是但是
Well, it kind of was, but...
谢谢你这么说
thank you for saying that.
我猜乞丐也宠爱
I guess Pamper du Pauper
正是我从内到外需要的净化
was exactly what I needed inside and out.
好吧你知道你还需要什么吗
Okay, you know what else you need?
你需要出去放松一晚
You need a night out.
今晚有个蒂芙变装舞会
There is a Tiff drag night tonight.
说到我们整个家族的快乐
I mean, talk about fun for our whole family.
这舞会符合了所有条件
Checking all the boxes.
走吧我们今晚去你怎么说
Let's go, let's go tonight. What do you say?
-对听着很完美 -好啊好
- Yeah, that sounds perfect. - Okay, okay.
喂
Hello?
老蒙
Mo?
真的吗
Really?
现在吗
Right now?
我刚定了计划
Uh, well, I-I-I kind of just made plans.
什么布莱尔你去
What? Blair, go, go.
对我们稍后见
Yeah, we'll meet up later.
你确定吗因为这真不是什么大事
Are you sure? 'Cause it's really not that big of a...
让我来一口吧臭小子们
Deal me in, fockers!
快来吧布莱尔
Get in there, Blair!
-棒棒棒 -吸吸吸
- Yes, yes, yes! - Get it, get it, get it!
好耶
Yeah!
各位我好想你们
You guys, ah, I missed you.
而且我很抱歉从现在起
And I'm sorry. From now on--
天呐从现在起我们原谅你
Oh, God, from now on, we will forgive your ass
只要你别继续道歉
if you stop fucking apologizing.
老天我们明白你很抱歉
Jesus Christ, we get it. You're sorry.
但既然现在所有成员都到齐了
But, hey, now that the fifth Jackson is here,
我想敬一杯酒
I would like to propose a toast.
好
Yes.
-敬道恩·达西 -敬我吗
- To Dawn Darcy. - Oh, to me?
-好的 -没错
- Okay. - Damn right.
华尔街的坏女巫
The wicked witch of Wall Street.
吸入毒品中的美人
The eye candy with the nose candy.
说得好
There it is.
两个酒窝毫无顾忌
Two dimples and no scruples.
那个想把西海岸变成
What about the woman turning the West Coast
奶♥子♥海岸的人呢
into the Breast Coast?
-等等什么 -你还是要隆C罩杯吗
- Wait, wait, what? - You getting Cs still?
拜托不不去他妈的
Come on. No, no, no, fuck it.
我要隆D罩杯
I'm getting Ds!
-敬D罩杯 -她要隆D罩杯了各位
- To Ds! - She's getting Ds, y'all!
你们知道吗
You know what, guys?
我本来会哭但这么多年涂眼影
I would cry, you know, if years of wearing crazy-ass eyeshadow
已经永久堵塞了我的泪腺
hadn't permanently clogged my ducts.
那我记得那事
Ah, that's, uh-- I remember about that.
所以取而代之不如我们来个体育人会做的手势
So, instead, how about we do sports hand thingy.
好好的
All right, all right.
-来吧来吧 -数到三
- Here we go, here we go. - On three.
一二三
One, two, three...
体育手势
sports thingy!
现在该跟拉瑞签订正式合同了
Well, now it is time to make things official with Larry.
-对 -没错
- Yes! - Yes!