黑色星期一

Black Monday S03E10

Part 3 Aug. 5, 2021, 9:17 a.m.

Hey, now, bottoms up.
布莱尔说的举杯不干
Blair here said it's not a proper toast
没诚意
unless we both drink.
布莱尔说的吗
Oh, did Blair say that?
-我说过吗我不知道 -布莱尔啊
- Did I? I don't know. - Oh, Blair.
-我等着呢 -当然了
- So I'm waiting. - Of course.
是牛奶的味儿
Tastes like milk.
-毛里斯 -棒极了
- Maurice. - Fantastic.
老天
Oh, my God.
上帝啊真高兴莱尼喝了
Jesus. Well, I'm glad Lenny drank it.
但你没事吗靠
But are you gonna be okay? Fuck!
别担心我孩子
Don't worry about me, kid.
这点硫喷妥钠我受得住
I can handle my pentathol.
提问你第一次见到我的时候
Question: were you very attracted to me
是不是就迷上我了
when you first met me?
我就知道
I knew it.
什么叫发誓
What is a vow?
发誓的意义何在
What is the meaning of a vow?
我是在严肃地提问
I'm seriously asking,
因为我以为的发誓其实是宣誓
because what I thought was a vow is actually an oath.
而我以为的宣誓其实是承诺
And what I thought was an oath is a promise.
-于是我试图找一段誓言 -亚西尔
- And then I tried to find vow. - Yassir.
明白
Right.
来听听两位新人的誓言吧
Let's just get on with the vows.
老蒙
Mo...
-道恩 -谢谢
- Dawn... - Thank you.
-交给你们了 -好
- Take it away. - Yes.
你好老蒙
Hello, Mo.
你好道恩
Hi, Dawn.
最佳男主人
The host with the most,
裤裆里有大棒的新郎
the groom with the broom in his pants.
我们酷毙了
Yeah, we killed.
是我道恩我万分感激
It's me, Dawn, and I'm so grateful
我们终于走到了这一天
we finally made it to this day
许多人都没能走到
when so many others did not.
妈的今年我们失去了许多朋友
Goddamn, we lost a lot of folks this year...
都死于一个变♥态♥之手
...to a punk-ass killer
太胆小不敢承认自己犯的罪
too chicken shit to confess to his crimes
不像冷酷连环杀手那样
like a cool serial killer would.
连联调局的侧写员都形容他为
Even the FBI profiler described him as,
这是原话
quote,
"一个外形恶心的男人
"A man so physically gross
他永远无法被爱
he can never be loved.
所以他不再掩饰
So he should quit playing
直接承认了自己
and just admit his shit.
否则他就是最大的...
Otherwise, he is the biggest...
猫咪[孬种]pussy
比梅西百货日巨型加菲气球还大"
since the Macy's Day Garfield float."
"好了拜拜喵" 没错
"Ay, dios meow," indeed.
-天呐我爱你道恩 -什么
- God, I love you, Dawn. - What?
我爱你道恩
Oh, I love you, Dawn.
好吧当然你当然爱
Okay. Yes. Yes, of course, you do.
我们要结婚了
We are getting married.
总之这群无脑的人
Anyways, the nutless coward--
就好像有人走进了你的生活
It's like somebody walks into your life,
你就无法想象
and you just can't imagine
在他们之前生活的样子
what life was ever like before them.
老蒙我不知道该说什么
Mo, I don't know what to say.
我不知道灵魂是什么做的道恩
I don't know what souls are made out of, Dawn,
但你和我的一样
but you and I have the same one.
好吧怎么回事
Okay, what is happening?
我现在被吐真剂搞得七荤八素的
I am totally whacked out on truth serum right now.
好吧好吧
Okay. Okay.
老蒙读卡片上的内容
Mo, read the cards.
-好吧 -就你就照着读
- Okay. - Just--you gonna read 'em.
我不需要那些卡片我得说实话真的
I don't need these cards. I gotta be honest, literally.
我不会向你保证
I'm not gonna promise you
我知道如何解决你的所有问题
that I know how to solve all your problems,
但我会告诉你宝贝
but I'll tell you one thing, babe,
我保证你永远不用一个人面对
I promise you, you will never have to face them alone.
还有你想对我屁♥股♥做的那些事
And all the things that you wanted to do with my butt
之前我太没有安全感而不同意现在来吧
that I was too insecure to let you do before, have at it.
不会吧真的吗蒙蒙
No! Really, Mo-Mo?
我还是很喜欢跟你进行
I'm still gonna be down to have regular sex
普通的性♥爱♥ 在你的阴♥道♥里
with you, too, in your vagina.
记住你说过这话
Just remember you said it.
因为我想对你的屁♥股♥做些难以启齿的事
'Cause I wanna do some pretty obscene things to your ass.
好了
Okay.
真美好
Well, that was beautiful,
-却风格迥异这非常... -是的
- yet tonally inconsistent, which is... - It was.
是我们的招牌了可以这么说
...pretty on brand for us, I'd say,
但最重要的是知道吗
but for the most part-- you know what?
其实如果在座的各位
Actually, if anyone here has any reason
有任何这两人不能结婚的理由赶紧说
as to why these two should not marry, speak now,
否则就自己憋着吧因为我们不想听
or forever hold your shit in, 'cause we don't wanna hear it.
这里有人有话想说吗或反应
Does anyone here have a comment or a reaction
或招供可以被法庭采纳为证据的那种
or a confession that might be admissible in a court of law?
现在是个分享出来的好时机
Now would be a great time to share that.
-我... -天呐
- I... - Oh, Jesus Christ!
应该接这个电♥话♥
...should take this.
你们继续
Carry on.
爱泼斯坦宝贝
Epstein, baby.
不我屁也没干
No, I'm not doing shit.
-不是你欠我一顿牛排 -继续吗
- No, you owe me a steak dinner. - Go on?
继续继续
Keep going. Keep going!
操♥你♥妈♥的
Well, fuck your mother.
她什么时候死的
Oh, when did she pass?
好了
All right.
我现在宣布你们是夫妻了
Uh, I now pronounce you man and wife.
亲吻新娘
Kiss the bride.
帕梅拉我非常爱你
Pamela, I love you so much.
-什么 -你能嫁给我吗
- What? - Will you marry me?
天呐我愿意
Oh, my God. Yes!
真的假的凯伦在我大喜的日子
Really, Karen? On my fucking day?
让那些姬佬享受这一刻吧
Let those lesbos have a moment.
拜托你总得跟她说话吧
Come on, you gotta go talk to her eventually.
你不能一直躲着她
You can't keep avoiding her.
我在这么多人面前
After all that crazy shit I said
说了那么多肉麻话
in front of all these people?
听我们一句
Take it from us.
假结婚需要真承诺
A fake marriage requires a very real commitment.
我只是不理解为什么吐真剂
I just don't understand why the truth serum
对你这么管用对莱尼却不起效
worked so well on you, but not on Lenny.
他现在大部分是猴子了对吧
Well, he's mostly monkey by now, right?
-是狒狒 -狒狒
- Baboon. - Baboon.
我能进来说两句吗
Hey, may I cut in so we can talk for a second?
宝贝
Oh, hey, babe.
计划男孩和基斯正在计划
The plan boys and Keith are in the middle of doing some planning
-关于莱尼·雷曼的情况所以 -才不
- about this Lenny Leighman situation, so-- - Fuck no.
知道吗现在该用我的简单对峙计划了
You know what? It's time for my simple-ass OG plan
让基斯单独去跟莱尼坦白趁他在厕所的时候
where Keith confronts Lenny alone while he's in the bathroom.
去他妈的不行你的计划失败了
Fuck this. No, your plan failed,
我不会冒着我的生命危险就因为你们想...
and I'm not gonna go risk my life now because you wanna--
基斯计划男孩干了脏活累活
Keith, the plan boys did all the heavy lifting.
道恩也贡献了
Dawn has chipped in.
-你屁也没干 -屁
- You've done shit. - Shit.
-屁也没干 -对
- Shit? - Yeah.
我策划了整场婚礼
I fucking planned this whole wedding.
-不你没有 -你干了什么
- No, you didn't. - You did what?
好吧但我应该策划
Okay, but I should have.
这个舞池的地板歪了
I mean, this dance floor is crooked,