家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S02E22

Part 3 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:32 p.m.

who can testify to this family's character, or lack thereof.
可以证明这家人品行极端恶劣
And then he grabbed my shirt
接着他抓起我的衣领
and he said if I flirted with his girlfriend,
说如果我再敢调戏他女友
he'd kick my ass.
他就揍扁我
And who did that to you?
谁这么对你的
That man.
那个家伙
That full-grown man.
那个傻大个儿
What up, girl?
小妞最近咋样
Did you notice I got my braces off?
我把牙套摘了注意到没
Would you say that the Chance family
你是说吉斯一家
was addicted to illegal sports gambling?
沉溺于非法体育赌博
I'd bet my ass on it.
我拿肥臀担♥保♥ 绝对没错
And trust me, honey,
相信我宝贝
that's a bet I'd love to lose.
我还真想输掉这大肥臀
But I wouldn't.
但我想输也输不了
And there she was, just peeing in a bucket in the front yard.
她就在前院找个小桶就撒尿
I took a picture with my phone!
我还用手♥机♥拍了照
They used their baby monitor to eavesdrop on my conversation.
他们用婴儿监控器偷听我说话
Then that crazy bitch threw the monitor through my window.
那个疯娘们直接拿监控器砸我窗户
Uh, the great grandmother paid me to pretend to kidnap Burt
他家奶奶雇我假装绑♥架♥伯特
and he went right along with it
他欣然地跟我走了
and abandoned the little boy.
把小男孩给抛弃了
And then when I came back to apologize for it, 20 years later,
结果二十年后我回来道歉
they hit me with a TV...
他们抄起电视就砸我
a bunch of times.
还不止一两次
They did that to me, too.
他们也那样对我
That's because we just found out you were...
那是因为我们发现你是...
Don't say it!
别说那个词
Then Jimmy and his friend suddenly jumped me and started hitting me
吉米和他的朋友突然冲出来打我
just because I used to have a penis.
就因为我以前带"把"
Man, I miss that thing!
见鬼太想念那玩意儿了
Talk about a hasty decision.
就不该头脑发热去变性
Man, that smack on the head still makes me so dizzy,
好家伙那一闷棍让我落下了后遗症
I got to take prescription drugs
我得靠处方药才能不犯晕
that I actually have prescriptions for.
正正经经用处方单买♥♥的药哦
Anyway, it really sucks
反正是倒霉透了
'cause I drive my own tour bus now.
我开游览车可不能脑袋犯晕啊
Yeah. Of course the gigs are drying up.
不过这活没油水可捞了
So I use it to deliver pizzas.
我现在开它送匹萨
In fact, I got some, uh,
对了我这里有一些
coupons here, if you don't mind. Yeah?
优♥惠♥劵我发几张没问题吧
These are good through the end of the month.
有效期截至月底
It took awhile
这是场鏖战
but eventually, Lucy's lawyer ran out of people to make us look bad.
最终露西的律师找不出让我们出丑的人了
And then it was our turn to call up people
于是轮到我们传唤证人
who had good things to say about us.
来为我们说些好话
And James has never broken an egg bagging groceries.
詹姆士从未打破过鸡蛋
Those are the same delicate hands that handle Hope.
这双巧手同样能照顾好喜旺
Friends know all the best things about you.
朋友们对你的优点了如指掌
But they also know the worst.
对你们的缺点也一清二楚
Yes.
我招
I was hired to pretend to be their caterer on Thanksgiving
这家人感恩节擅闯豪♥宅♥
when they broke into a nice house in order to
还雇我扮演他们家大厨
convince Burt's parents he was wealthy.
他们装成有钱人骗伯特的父母
B-B-But when we ran out of there,
但我们逃出去的时候
we left a ton of gourmet spices
留下了一大堆高级调味料
and a Japanese knife I miss like crazy.
还有我钟爱的日本料理刀
Jimmy Chance is a jerk and he should lose his daughter.
吉米·吉斯是混♥蛋♥ 女儿不该归他
Sorry, buddy, but I feel like we'd be able to hang more
抱歉伙计但你不养孩子的话
if the kid was out of the way.
我们就有更多时间出去逍遥了
**Lucy's lawyer is compelling*
*露西的律师逼良为娼
**Her legal command is*
*她的法律要求
**Impressive but those are lies she's telling*
*看似合理实则谎言
**About the Chances.*
*吉斯一家真是冤
You were asked to state your name.
我刚问你叫什么
It's Shelley.
我叫雪莉
Yeah, Jimmy, he's a great guy.
没错吉米是个大好人
He's really honest.
他很诚实
He even told me about the time
他甚至告诉过我有一次
he tucked his penis between his legs
他把老二夹到两腿中间
and danced around to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun."
唱着"女孩万岁"胡蹦乱跳
Sorry, Jimmy, I'm under oath.
抱歉吉米我发誓要说真话
But you only have to tell the truth about things they ask!
他们没问的事你没必要说
Don't ask me about his porn collection.
千万别问我他收藏了多少毛♥片♥
If it weren't for Jimmy and his parents,
多亏了吉米和他父母
I wouldn't have my seeing-eye pig.
我才有了导盲猪
In my opinion,
我认为
the Chances are a strong, close-knit
吉斯一家是坚韧不拔相亲相爱的
African-American family.
非裔美国人家庭
Sir...
先生
the Chances are Caucasian.
吉斯一家是白人
Really? What about Eminem? Caucasian.
真的假的那痞子阿姆呢白人
Really? Bryant Gumbel's white, right?
真的吗布莱恩特·甘贝尔也是白人吧
African-American.
他是非裔美国人
Well...
这样啊
obviously I'm not a reliable witness.
看来我证人这个不太靠谱
Our friends couldn't help us,
朋友帮不了我们
so we tried to help ourselves.
那我们就想办法自保
Look, maybe we weren't the perfect parents.
也许我们当父母的不够称职
Maybe my son has some issues,
纵然我儿子有很多毛病
and maybe he made some mistakes
也犯过不少错误
and accidentally put his daughter in danger.
不小心让女儿身处险境
But...
但是
The rest of the speech washed off.
下面那一段被我洗掉了
Mom practiced answers for anything they could ask her,
老妈准备了所有问题的答案
but when the pressure was on, she went blank.
但压力当前她大脑一片空白
I personally believe that...
我个人认为
U.S. Americans...
美♥利♥坚♥的美国人
in our nation...
在我们国家
are unable to do so
是不能这么做的
because some parents...
因为有些父母
in America...
在美国
out there...
在那里
are not...
是没
having wet naps.
没有湿巾的
Is she speaking in tongues?
她说的是哪国语
So I believe that...
所以我相信
our wiping products,
我们生产的纸巾产品
like... such as,
比如像
in South Africa...
在南非
and in the Iraq...
还有在伊♥拉♥克♥
Eventually, I took the stand,
最终我站上了证人席
and I realized that I was Hope's only chance
我意识到我是保住喜旺的
of staying Hope Chance.
唯一希望
I showed pictures I drew
我展示了亲手画的画
of the cool things I had done with my daughter.
描绘了我和女儿的欢乐生活
And I mentioned Hope's collection of interesting rocks,
我还展示了喜旺收藏的石头
which I think impressed the miners.
这招对矿工很受用
And eventually, I just spoke from the heart.
最后我大抒真情实感
I-I'm sorry, I mean, is it a crime to live at home
冒昧一问难道和自己爱的人住一起
with people you love?
是一种罪过吗
Look, we're broke.
我们家穷得叮当响
Hope is stuck living in a tiny, crowded house.
喜旺只能住在狭小拥挤的房♥子里
And when you're stuck in a tiny space with a bunch of people,
一堆人挤在狭小拥挤的空间里
a lot of stuff happens that you don't want anyone to know about.
难免发生很多难以启齿的事
Probably stuff you wish no one ever found out.
有些事你恨不得烂在肚子里
But she's with good people,
但她周围的人都很善良
who stick together, and find ways to laugh,
大家和和睦睦欢声笑语
and we work out our problems even when we're pissed.
纵然焦躁忧虑还是能解决问题
And when you have people like that in your corner,
能与这么一群人同甘共苦