家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S02E07

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:27 p.m.

Cook that one.
煮那只吧
Okay, okay, sorry, sorry. Not you.
好吧好吧抱歉对不起不杀你
I can't do this.
我狠不下心
It's best if you don't look in their eyes.
秘诀是别看他们的眼睛
Just say Edgar or Morty.
就说选埃德加还是莫蒂
What's going on?
搞什么呐
Barney's going to pretend to be my parents' caterer
巴尼要装扮成我父母的厨师
on Thanksgiving to impress my grandparents.
在感恩节雷一下我祖父母
We're going to go with this one.
就这一只好了
He's old, and I don't think he'll make it to next Thanksgiving.
他老了我觉得他撑不过明年
Plus, I want him to die with dignity.
而且我希望他有尊严得死去
And not just end up as turkey burgers on the Fourth of July.
别沦落到做国♥庆♥节火鸡汉堡的份儿上
Oh, hey, do you want to hang out for Thanksgiving?
喂感恩节带我玩不
Seriously? Yeah.
说真的吗是啊
Wyatt's away interviewing at law schools,
怀特有法学院的面试
and my family's taking the jet to Turkey
我家人又飞去了土耳其
for what they're called "An ironic Thanksgiving".
登上他们"讽刺的感恩节之旅"
So I'm alone, too.
所以我落单了
That would be great.
那太好啦
Yeah, pretend to be a little family.
对啊假装成一家人
Well, if we're going to pretend,
如果我们要扮的话
we could go to the fake house with everybody else.
我们也像其他人一样去那栋房♥子
My dad can't have a problem with his parents meeting Hope
如果喜旺有个娘我爹肯定
if she has a mother.
愿意让她见见我祖父母
Oh, my God, it'll be like turkey dinner theater.
天呐简直就是火鸡晚餐大戏
I just hope I can pull it off.
我只希望能混过去
I'm not so great at lying,
我不擅长撒谎
and this is really important to my dad.
但这对我爹真的很重要
Okay. Well, maybe we should practice kissing a couple times
好也许我们得练练亲亲
so it's not awkward when we do it
要不到时候在你祖父母面前亲亲
in front of your grandparents. Okay.
会感觉尴尬的好啊
How was that? I feel like we looked uncomfortable.
怎么样感觉不是很自然
Let's try again. Okay.
再来一个好
He's old, but he's got
他是老但他比我想象的
a lot more fight left in him than I thought.
要坚贞不屈得多
We're home.
到家啦
This is your new room, Maw Maw.
这是你的新房♥间奶奶
Nice.
给力啊
In my day, they were shaped more like penises.
在我的时代这个通常会做成小鸡鸡的形状
They're here.
他们来了
They're here!
他们来了
Welcome. Wow, wow, what a place.
欢迎喔哇喔真漂亮啊
Burt, I don't believe this.
伯特我真无法相信
Aw, crap.
唉该死
It was Virginia's idea...
是维吉妮亚想出来的
To, um, move into this neighborhood.
想出来要呃搬到这一区
Because, uh, they have better schools here.
因为呃这是学区房♥
Grampy and Grandma!
爷爷奶奶
Jimmy!
吉米
No creepy makeup. Thank God.
没有吓人的装扮谢天谢地
Got a surprise for you.
有惊喜给你们
You didn't put another earring in your swizzle stick, did you?
不是在调酒棒上又弄了个环吧
No, I've been using my swizzle stick for other things.
不我的调酒棒做了点别的
Hi.
你们好啊
Surprise.
惊喜喔
Uh, this is my wife,
这是我内人
Sabrina. Hi.
塞布丽娜你好
And this is your great-granddaughter Hope.
这是你们的重孙女喜旺
Jimmy, I just got to ask--
吉米我先问问你
in light of your parents' track record,
根据你父母的历史情况
did the marriage cause
是结婚生子
the baby or did the baby cause the marriage?
还是奉子成婚啊
Ha, ha, that's rich.
哈哈真搞笑
Just like me. Come on, I'll give you the tour.
像我一样来吧我带你们转转
I never get tired of looking at all my cool stuff.
我这些宝贝怎么看都不厌
Venison meatballs?
要来点鹿肉丸子吗
Uh, this is Barnard, our caterer.
这是巴纳德我们的厨子
He does all our big events--
大餐都是他做
Thanksgiving, Christmas,
感恩节啦圣诞节啦
WrestleMania.
摔跤狂热大赛啦
Enjoy.
请享用
Argh, matey.
呜嗷伙计
She won't take a nap.
她不想睡
I think it's 'cause she's in a strange place.
我猜她不习惯呆在陌生的地方
Her and I are in a strange place
我是说她和我
emotionally, lately.
最近有点情感有点生疏
Sabrina was just telling me about the day you met.
塞布丽娜在讲你们认识那天
That was very courageous
你真勇敢啊
how you lost a testicle
你损失了一个睾丸
saving her from an armed robber.
但保护她免受持枪歹徒的伤害
Luckily he went after the criminal doing a cartwheel.
幸好他在歹徒换弹夹时将他制♥服♥了
Or he'd have taken that bullet right between the eyes.
不然那枪就要打在眉心了
Um, that's right.
说得没错
And the truth is, is without the other one there taking up space,
事实是没有那只睾丸占地方
the one that is left has just gotten gigantic.
另一个睾丸变得好大喔
They're like goldfish.
就像金鱼一样
The more space they have, the bigger they get.
只要有空间就疯长
I love giant goldfish.
我就喜欢大金鱼
Why don't you take Great-Grandma and show her your fishies.
要不要带曾祖母看看你的鱼鱼啊
I want to see your fishies.
我要看你的鱼鱼
Shot me in the testicle?! Really?!
一枪崩了我的睾丸不是吧
I know. Isn't it hilarious? It was Sabrina's idea.
我知道好笑吧塞布丽娜想出来的
And by the way,
还有
I told her that we potty trained Hope at six months.
我告诉她喜旺六个月大就开始坐便训练
So if she starts to stink, whoever's holding her
所以她如果变臭了抱着她的人
is going to have to apologize for farting.
就要道歉并解释为自己放屁了
I just love all this playacting.
我太爱这角色扮演了
I haven't had this much fun since I did improv games
自从早育妈妈中心的即兴表演以来
at the teen mom center.
我好久没这么开心了
They thought it would help
他们说常做即兴表演
us talk our way out of having sex the next time.
我们就会性趣全无了
"Hey, girl, whatcha doing?"
"嘿妞做什么呐"
"Reading what you just wrote."
"在看你的消息呀"
Dummy.
猪头
"What are you wearing?"
"你穿什么呐"
"Sweater set, control top pantyhose
毛衣连体袜裤
and, uh, navy slacks."
还有藏青色裤子
"Weird.
诡异
You might be more comfortable
也许都脱了
taking that off."
你会觉得更舒服
"Makes sense to me."
有点道理
Boy, this is beautiful, beautiful.
儿子这里真是太棒了
Hey, I hope you don't mind, I raided your humidor.
我扫荡了下你的雪茄盒不介意吧
You've got quite a few illegal Cubans in there.
你那儿可有不少非法的古巴烟
Oh, yeah?
是吗
Maybe we should let them out.
或许我们应该把它们放出来
Well, I already did.
没错我已经带出来啦
You know, son, I'm really impressed
儿子我真为你所拥有的一切
with all of this.
感到骄傲
I mean, look at this.
看看这个
This is 40-year-old scotch.
这可是40年前的苏格兰酒
Oh, yeah, I've been meaning to get rid of that.
是嘛我是打算处理了呢
It's probably gone bad by now.
这么长时间估计都坏了
Yeah.
是啊
There we go.
来一杯
To you, son.
敬你儿子
To me.
敬我
Fire in the hole.
点个火
This is great, ain't it?
超赞有没有
"You make me crazy.
你令我疯狂