家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S02E17

Part 3 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:30 p.m.

You're right. You're right.
你说的没错
I can't believe I'm saying this
虽然于心不忍♥
but I guess I have to spank her.
但我是该打她屁屁了
Hopefully it'll just be the one time.
但愿一次就能奏效
And not too hard.
下手别太狠了
Just enough so she knows you still love her,
让她知道你还爱她
but also so she knows you mean business.
但你也不是和她闹着玩的
Somewhere between Mary Poppins and Precious.
尽量把握在《欢乐满人间》和《珍爱人生》之间
I'm okay.
我没事了
Mm. Yeah. I'm good.
真的好了
Hope, sometimes a father has to spank his child.
喜旺有时候爸爸不得不打孩子的屁屁
It could be worse.
这已经算好的了
In Modern Family,
在《摩登家庭》里
that guy shot his kid to teach him a lesson.
有个家伙为了教训孩子还朝他开枪呢
And everybody just loved that.
那收视率高得让人眼红
Jimmy, wait!
吉米等等
Oh, don't do it. I can't let you spank her.
别打她你不能打她
Look, I don't like it either, but she's out of control,
我也不想这样做可是她太不听话了
and it worked when you spanked me, so...
既然你打我屁屁凑效了那么...
No, it didn't.
不是这样的
I told your mother I'd spank you
我跟你老妈说我会打你屁屁
but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
但我下不了手
You never actually got better.
其实你一直是老样子
I just made your mother think you did.
我不过是唬你妈妈来着
Delicious, Mommy.
好好吃哦妈咪
Please don't spank me again.
千万别打我屁屁
Anything you refused to do, I did for you.
任何你不想做的事我都替你做
And the thing I couldn't do for you, I faked.
我做不了的就替你打掩护
Don't forget to use those headphones I bought you.
别忘了戴我给你买♥♥的耳机
I-I can't believe that you didn't spank me.
你竟然没打我
I mean, you told me to spank Hope
那你还让我打喜旺屁屁
because it worked when you spanked me.
声称你打我屁屁很管用
I'm not perfect.
我也会犯错啊
Nobody's perfect. Look at you.
人无完人看看你自己
You're made of triangles.
满身都是小星星
Hmm. Okay, might have a little gas left in my brain.
我脑子里好像还有煤气
I'm telling Mom.
我去告诉老妈
Aw, so now you're a rat. Nice.
好啊你还学会告密了
I didn't see you so anxious to tell the truth when you were
别忘了幼儿园里就你一人能看《阿森尼奥》
the only kid in preschool who got to watch Arsenio.
那时也没见你急着打小报告
**You heard a noise*
*你听见了声响
Play louder.
再大声点
I think he's covering up his ears.
他好像把耳朵捂住了
**Now you're scared under my house...*
*躲在屋底惊慌失措
How'd it go?
怎么样了
Did you spank her? Did she cry?
打了吗她哭没
I couldn't hear over DJ Jazzy Sabrina.
刚DJ杰西·塞布丽娜的音乐太嗨了
No, I didn't spank her.
我没打她
And guess what I found out: dad never spanked me.
而且我还发现老爸也从没打过我
He only pretended to,
他都是装的
and then let me do whatever I wanted behind your back.
他背着你任我为所欲为
Is that true, Burt?
真的吗伯特
You're a jerk, you know that?
你是个混♥蛋♥ 你知道吗
When you were four, we promised we'd never tell.
你四岁时我们拉钩钩要保密的
We made a cross-the-streams-and-hope-to-die pee-pee promise.
说好有难同当有尿同撒的
You never spanked him?
你从没打过他
You lied to me?
你竟然忽悠我
Yes, I lied.
是的
We are no longer pee-pee brothers.
我不要再跟你有尿同撒了
I'm okay with that.
我无所谓
Guys. Guys, keep arguing.
各位继续吵
I think it's freaking him out.
他好像被吓到了
He's looking for a way out.
他要出来了
Do you know how many critters I have had to wrangle
你知道为了补偿你动手打咱儿子
from underneath this house because I thought you spanked our son?
我解决了房♥底下多少只小动物们吗
Forty-six, Virginia!
四十六只维吉妮亚
Forty-six!
四十六只
Oh, guys...
各位
Guys, maybe take it down a notch,
各位消消火气
he's starting to look a little aggressive.
他好像要被激怒了
Two dozen rats, 12 possums,
两打老鼠十二只负鼠
seven raccoons, and three rabid squirrels.
七只浣熊还有三只得狂犬病的松鼠
You think this hasn't been hard on me?
你以为我容易吗
Hard on you?
你有什么不容易的
Burt, I got rabies.
伯特我可是得了狂犬病
Rabies!
是狂犬病
Oh, so now that's a bad thing?
现在这倒成坏事了
When's the last party we were at
哪次聚会不是一群人围着你
where you didn't have half a dozen people around you
听你吹你的狂犬病奇遇记
laughing at your "How I got rabies" story?
听得哄堂大笑
Oh! Oh, dear God!
天哪快闪
Oh, God!
天哪
It all makes sense now.
我终于明白了
They never disciplined me.
你们从没管教过我
I still don't eat vegetables,
我还是不吃蔬菜
my room's a mess, and I can't fall asleep
房♥间里一团糟
without thinking about things that make me go "Hmm."
不看电视就睡不着觉
Do you think that raccoon is going to be okay?
你说那只浣熊不会有事吧
I mean, I'm really glad that I took that infant CPR class,
还好我学过一些婴儿急救知识
but it's just... the shape of the mouth
可惜浣熊的嘴型
is completely different on these creatures.
完全不一样
It's impossible to get a tight seal.
根本没法把嘴对上
I can't do the same thing my dad did.
我不能重蹈我爸的覆辙
I have to stop trying to be Hope's friend
不能再对喜旺慈眉善目了
and make sure that she-she grows up with discipline.
一定要让她循规蹈矩
And I'm not going to be lazy about it.
我得上点儿心了
I'm going to read the books and I'm-I'm gonna do this right.
我要多看书把一切带上正轨
Jimmy... my raccoon might be dead
吉米我的浣熊都要死了
and this is all you're thinking about?
你还有心思想这些
"Your" raccoon?
"你的"浣熊
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
天哪不好意思
"Our" raccoon.
是"我们的"浣熊
Oh, God, he's alive. Yep.
谢天谢地他还活着没错
It's probably got a concussion,
它可能得了脑震荡
so the most important thing
所以最要紧的
is to keep it awake for the next 48 hours.
是在接下来的四十八小时里让它保持清醒
If it seems okay after that, then you can let it go.
那之后它看起来没事就可以把它放了
And if he doesn't seem okay? I'd still let it go.
要是不好呢也让它走吧
Well... I've got good news and I've got bad news.
我有好消息和坏消息
Unfortunately, the good news isn't for you.
不幸的是好消息不是给你的
What's that?
那是什么
Chicken wire.
铁丝网
I'm gonna put it up around the porch
我要给整个门廊围上一圈
so no more animals can get underneath us.
这样就没有动物可以钻到房♥子下面去了
I know, it's an old house,
我知道这房♥子旧了
you shouldn't sink money into it, but what the hell?
不值得在这上面花钱但豁出去了
Why didn't you ever do that before?
你之前怎么不弄
It was never my job before.
之前又不关我事
So you wouldn't do it to make my life a little easier?
你就不能帮我减轻点负担吗
Did you ever want to help me
那你什么时候帮我清过
clean the bugs out of the light fixtures?
灯罩里的虫子
There's just so many of them.
那尸体遍布
It's tragic.
惨不忍♥睹
They're flies, Virginia.
那些是苍蝇维吉妮亚
They're born in poop.
它们应粪而生
Every day after that is a gift.
活一天享一天福
Ah, we never should have done the crappy jobs separately.
我们就不应该单独做这些烂活儿
We should've worked together.
应该一起去做
You're right. No more of that.
你说得对不会再这样了
Too bad we didn't learn this sooner.
早点想通就好了