家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S02E19

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:31 p.m.

Isn't that wonderful?
很棒吧
We do, however, need someone
但在赠出前我们需要一名志愿者
to care for the animal until the presentation.
对它加以照看
No.
没门
I spend half the week vacuuming up Maw Maw's hair.
我一周大半时间都在清理奶奶的头发
I'm not adding an animal.
再多个动物我可吃不消
I would do it myself, but...
我是很愿意自己来但是
since I'm sure Burt would like to prove
我相信此刻伯特很想表表诚心
to everyone that he can be in charge...
向大伙儿证明他能够...
I would really love to help out here,
我很想帮忙
but, uh, unfortunately, I am allergic to dogs.
但很可惜我对狗敏感
Well, praise the Lord.
感谢上帝
Carl is, too.
卡尔也过敏
I hate that pig.
我讨厌那头猪
Me, too.
我也是
We're talking about Sarah Louise, right?
你是指萨拉·露易丝对吧
'Cause this one seems pretty nice.
这只猪猪好可爱的
We're home, I think.
到家咯估计是家吧
Mom, you should've been on that walk.
妈妈你真该跟我们一起去遛猪
Hope loves having a pet.
喜旺可爱小宠物了
Maw Maw put her on Mr. Curly Tail's back,
曾奶奶把她放在卷尾巴的背上
and it... it looked just like a little rodeo.
看着像牛仔竞技表演一样
I mean, you know, if cowboys
想象下竞技表演中
in rodeos had giant old ladies behind them holding them on.
牛仔后面有个巨人奶奶扶着他
You had to be there.
你真该来
Burt, this isn't going to be as easy as you think.
伯特这没你想得那么简单
This thing is full
这件事很复杂
of special care instructions.
照料动物充满技术含量
Purified water?
纯净水
Pesticide-free fruits and vegetables?
有机蔬果
You think you're better than us, don't you?
你比我们还矜贵是吧
Hey, guys.
伙计们
I just heard that one of your neighbors got a pig.
我刚听说有个街坊养了头猪
And now you're not the trashiest people on the...
看来你们不是最二♥逼♥的一家了
Sorry.
当我没说
In just five days,
就养五天
they're going to present that to Carl.
之后就会交给卡尔了
We spent longer than that trying to
都不如上次"手不离摩托艇"的
win a "Hands on a Jet Ski" contest.
比赛时间长
And we would have won, too, if they hadn't have let
那次我们差点就赢了
that jerk with the colostomy bag enter.
都怪那个挂着结肠粪袋的混♥蛋♥
Plus, it'll give me great stuff to brag about
而且我两周后上台演讲
in two weeks when I make my big speech.
就靠这个吹牛了
Burt, you know how ruthless Sarah Louise is.
伯特你也知道萨拉·露易丝多凶残
And you're not the best public speaker.
况且你也不怎么擅长演讲
I just don't want to see you get hurt.
我真不想看到你出丑
Hey, I could... I could help you with your speech if you want.
需要的话我可以在演讲上帮助你
I-I learned a trick in my public speaking course.
我上过演讲课
If it's the old classic
别整那种老套的
"Picture everybody naked," you can forget about it.
什么"想象观众都没穿衣服"
Burt always pictures everybody naked.
这种事伯特经常做
We both do.
我也一样
Some people have Cinemax.
复联暮光皆浮云
We have our imagination.
高清无♥码♥在心中
Living with a pig in your house might sound crazy,
和猪同居听上去很疯狂
but we all fell in love with Mr. Curly Tail.
但我们都很爱卷尾巴
Except Mom.
除了老妈
Hey. Twins.
哇双胞胎
He was cold.
我怕它冻着
I was afraid he'd get the swine flu.
要是染上猪流感怎么办
He never saw Babe.
它从来没看过《小猪贝贝》
Two out of three, Mr. Curly Tail.
三局两胜卷尾巴
No...!
别
Hey, Virginia.
维吉妮亚
Check this out.
快看
Curly, newspaper.
卷尾巴报纸
Burt, we don't get the newspaper.
伯特咱家没订报纸
Oh, I know. He steals it from the neighbors.
我知道但它会从别家拱来
Listen, I'm going down to the grocery store.
等下我去趟杂货店
Sabrina's going to help me with my very funny speech.
去找塞布丽娜帮帮我幽默的演讲
There's no Polish people in our church, right?
我们教堂里没波兰人吧
You better be taking that pig with you.
你最好把猪也给带上
I don't want to be alone with him.
我才不要和它单独相处
You're not alone. Maw Maw's right here.
哪里单独了不是有奶奶在
Unless she's dead.
她没死吧
Nah. Alive.
没事还有气儿
Leave him if you want.
你要留就留下吧
That stupid pig is on his own.
让这笨猪自生自灭去
I'm watching this TV show
我要看这个节目
where they find wedding dresses
讲那些身材古怪的人
that look good on oddly-shaped women.
去哪儿淘合适的婚纱
I think today's got conjoined twins.
今天好像是对连体姐妹
Oh, that is a lucky groom.
好有艳福的新郎
Come on, you got to love this guy.
别这样你会爱上卷尾巴的
Today, Beth tries on gown number seven
今天贝丝穿上了七号♥礼服
while her sister Tanya still can't find a bridesmaid's dress
可她的妹妹坦雅找不到合适的伴娘裙
that doesn't make her hip look big.
来显得臀部轻盈些
You hang in there, Tanya.
别泄气坦雅
Beth found her Mr. Right.
贝丝找到了她的"另一半"
You'll find your Mr. Left.
你也会找到"另一半"的
Holy crap, pig.
我的天哪猪猪
You saved my life.
你救了我一命
You saved my life, pig.
你是我的恩人猪猪
Oh, my God.
难以置信
You're like Lassie without all the attitude.
你堪比灵犬莱西
Not even my own grandmother would wake up to save me.
我亲奶奶都没醒来救我
I was awake.
我早醒了
Thought you were trying to trick me
还以为你在演戏
into giving up the good chair.
想骗走我这个好位子
This couch is way more comfortable than that chair.
我这沙发可比你的椅子舒服多了
In conclusion, fellow parishioners,
总而言之各位教友
I would like to be chairperson of Heaven's Helpers
我希望能当选天堂互助会的主席
so that you can get
这样你们才能
the credit that you deserve
获得自己应得的表扬
without making everything about me.
我绝不会独占功劳
You're still kind of doing this thing with your hands.
你还是张牙舞爪的
Aah! Still? Burt!
还这样伯特
Burt, you were right about Mr. Curly Tail.
伯特卷尾巴跟你说的一样
He is a genius.
它是个天才
I was choking, and he saved my life.
我差点噎死它救了我一命
I told you, he's a genius.
我早说了它就是个天才
I decided to come and get Mr. Curly Tail
所以我想来给卷尾巴
some of those organic apples you guys sell.
买♥♥点你们这儿的有机苹果
We stopped selling organic stuff.
我们早不卖♥♥有机蔬果了
See, the produce is really close to the restroom,
产品种的离洗手间太近
and without pesticides,
就算没有农药
they just can't handle the air fresheners.
也扛不住空气清新剂啊
However, our public restrooms
不过咱们这儿被评为
were voted the best-smelling in Natesville.
纳什维尔最香的厕所
Fine. Then I guess I'll go out to that hippie farm
看来我只能去嬉皮士开的农场
and get some real organic apples.
买♥♥些真正的有机苹果
Hey. How'd that, conjoined twin's wedding work out?
那对连体姐妹的婚礼怎么样了
Wild. At that part in the wedding
超奇葩婚礼不是有一个环节
when they ask if anyone has any objections,
要问谁有反对意见吗
the bride's conjoined twin admitted
新娘的连体姐妹竟然坦白
that she had slept with the groom.
她和新郎上过床
I admit it, you were right, and I was wrong.
我承认你是对的我错了
That really is one magnificent pig.
这真是一只神奇的灵猪
And you know what?
知道吗
I'm gonna let him sleep in the bed tonight.
我批准它今晚睡床上了