家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S02E05

Part 1 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:27 p.m.

Oh, Shelley.
雪莉啊
I told you,
我不是说了吗
if you saw bugs on her they're just termites.
她身上要是有虫子也只是白蚁
You didn't need to put her in the flea pit.
不用把她放到跳蚤圈里去
Oh, no. That's not the flea pit.
不是啊这不是跳蚤圈
The flea pit's over there.
那个才是跳蚤圈
Hope's in time-out.
喜旺现在在受罚
She's doing a 30-minute stretch for hitting Jeremy.
她要思过30分钟因为她打了杰瑞米
Hitting? That's not like her.
打人这可不像她啊
Why's the dog in timeout? Rape.
这狗为啥也被罚了因为强♥奸♥
Oh, I know they shouldn't be sharing a cell,
我知道不该把她俩关在一起
but I ran out of plastic fence.
可我的塑料篱笆用完了
And it's not like he raped a kid.
而且这狗强♥奸♥的又不是小孩
He raped a lamp.
它只是强♥奸♥了一盏灯
He busted its bulb.
把灯泡都蹂躏爆了
Oh, I wouldn't worry about Hope.
我可不会为这个担心喜旺
She must have learned how to fight
她肯定在人生的前六个月有期徒刑里
during her first six months in the slammer,
就学会了怎么打架
'cause you should have seen her kick Jeremy's ass.
你真该看看她是怎么教训杰瑞米的
Next time, you'll think twice before you snatch a tinker toy
你下次要跟咱喜旺抢玩具前
from my girl, won't you?
肯定会先考虑一下了吧
We don't care for Jeremy; he's a bit difficult.
我们不太管杰瑞米他有点倔
Jeremy's a fart face.
他就是个刺儿头
Eat your dinner before it melts.
趁晚餐还没化掉赶紧吃
Popsicles and olives?
棒冰加橄榄
Have we just given up?
就这么放弃了么
We can't have any food in the house
在除白蚁期间
while they tent for termites.
家里不能有任何食物
We're eating everything in the fridge.
我们得把冰箱里的东西全部消灭
Maw Maw's been over there an hour already.
奶奶已经在那驻守了一个小时了
It's like having a goat.
就像养了只羊似的
Oh, be careful.
小心了
Apparently she's in a bit of a mood today.
她大小姐今天心情不太好
She hit a kid at day care.
她在日托所打了一个孩子
Here we go.
开始了
I told you!
我就说吧
What?
啥
Did she really hit a kid?
她真的打了个孩子
Yeah, she hit a kid; kids hit kids, what?
是啊孩子和孩子总是打打闹闹嘛咋了
It's starting!
初露端倪了
What's starting?
啥端倪
Jimmy, you know how those Kardashian girls
吉米你知道那些明星吧
all have real big butts?
丰乳肥臀的那些
Then you look at their mother, and she's got a big butt, too?
瞧瞧她们老妈也都是个个丰乳肥臀的
Hope's mother was a serial killer.
喜旺她娘可是个连环杀手
Oh, come on! She's a baby!
得了吧她还是个孩子
John Wayne Gacy was a baby, too.
约翰·韦恩·格西也是从婴儿长起来的
And so was Ted Bundy!
还有泰德·邦迪也是
And remember Son of Sam?
还有记得《萨姆之子》不
At one point, Sam was walking around going
曾几何时萨姆还到处向人炫耀呢
"This is my brand-new baby."
"这是我的新生儿"
It's not just Lucy.
而且不只她娘露西
This kid's grandparents are whackjobs, too.
这孩子的外祖父母也都是不务正业的
They're in prison for trying to kidnap this kid!
他俩因为试图绑♥架♥这孩子这会儿还在监狱里呢
Are they still in prison?
他俩还在监狱里
Yeah, I see the dad all the time on Highway 8,
是的我每天都看到她外公在8号♥公路上
picking up trash with the work crew.
穿着劳♥改♥服在那捡垃圾
He looks good, but who wouldn't look good in a jumpsuit?
还挺帅不过谁穿上连身裤会不帅啊
She just hit one kid, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.
她只是打了一个孩子我相信没什么好担心的
Finished.
吃完了
Good job, Maw Maw.
好样的奶奶
Where's all the refrigerator magnets?
那些冰箱贴咋都没了
What?
啥
All those fruit-shaped magnets that were on the freezer.
冰箱上那些水果形状的磁石啊
If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and dail again.
如果您想拨♥打♥电♥话♥ 请挂断重播
You got termites, huh?
遭白蚁了啊
Yep, poor little wood-eating bastards.
是啊那些专吃木头的小混♥蛋♥
They see the tent going up,
它们看到这帐篷
they probably think they're at the circus.
没准儿还以为进了马戏团呢
Hey, give me those!
给我吧
I'm gonna put all the baby stuff in the storage pod.
我把孩子的东西都放仓库里去
Listen, the termite guy's gonna turn on the gas soon.
我说啊除蚁工就快放出灭蚁剂了
Since I'm pretty sure nothing's gonna happen tonight,
我相信今晚会相安无事
I think we got five minutes; we can sneak inside for a quickie.
咱现在有五分钟可以溜进去来上一轮
Even if the termite guy catches us,
即使被他逮住了
he seems very discrete.
他看起来也挺好忽悠的
Hey, I love doing it in tents, too.
听着我也喜欢在帐篷里做
But since what usually takes you five minutes
但考虑到你五分钟能收获的快♥感♥
sometimes takes me ten, I got to pass.
我得花上十分钟才行所以我还是放弃吧
All right.
好吧
So, you put all the furniture the same way it was
你把家具摆得跟在屋里一模一样
in the house. What that really necessary?
有必要么
Since we're gonna be sleeping out here for two nights,
咱们可得在外面睡两个晚上
I didn't want Maw Maw to get confused.
我不想让奶奶找不着北
Even on her normal nights,
就算平时在屋里
she might accidentally pee in the hamper.
她都有可能尿错地方
I'm heading to work.
我要去上班了
Uh, there's something I need to do first.
得先解决件事
I'll see you.
回头见
So, where do we go to the bathroom?
那咱这两天在哪上厕所
Where you always go.
还是老地点啊
The bathroom!
厕所呗
Damn it, Burt! That's my good bucket!
我靠伯特这可是个好桶
Not anymore!
以后就不是了
My... slipper's running away!
我的拖鞋逃跑了
Can I help you?
有什么事吗
Uh, I need to talk to one of the prisoners?
我得跟一个犯人谈谈
He's my daughter's grandfather.
他是我女儿的外公
The guy with the pigtails.
扎小辫儿那个
Take off, son.
走开小子
In here, he's nobody's grandfather.
在这里他谁的外公也不是
Go on! Get!
快走快
Hey! Dale!
喂戴尔
Oh, hey, Jimmy, hi.
嘿吉米你好啊
How you doing? Not so good.
你怎么样啊不太好
I'm in jail, and as you can see by my hairstyle
我蹲大狱呢你看我的发型
I've had to make a few compromises
就知道我得为自己的安全
in order to ensure my safety.
做出一些妥协了
Hello again.
我又来了
How-how's Hope?
喜旺怎么样
Good, good. Hey, I was wondering if I could ask you a question.
很好我能不能问你个问题
Well sure, you...
当然可以你...
Hey! When Lucy was Hope's age,
喂露西像喜旺这么大的时候
did she hit other kids? Yeah.
她打其他小孩吗打
Then around two years old, she started biting.
而且大概两岁的时候她开始咬人
And right around three, she graduated to light stabbing.
三岁左右基本学会捅人了
Thanks, that's all I needed!
谢了这些就够了
James, what are you doing?
詹姆士你在搞啥啊
I don't know, making an animal.
不知道啊不是做动物吗
That's a cat. People are going to think that's cat meat.
那是猫啊大家会以为是猫肉呢
That's 90% beef; make a cow.
那90%都是牛肉给我做个牛
Sorry.
抱歉
Guys, what if my parents are right?
万一我爸妈说对了呢
I mean, Lucy hit kids, too.
我是说露西也打人
What if this is the start
万一这是个开始呢
of Hope turning into a serial killer?
喜旺也要变成杀人魔了
That's crazy; just 'cause Hope's mom stabbed somebody.
疯话只因为喜旺他妈捅死了人
And shot someone. And strangled someone.
还开枪打死了人还勒死了人
And poisoned someone.
还毒死了人
Okay, we all watched the Geraldo special,
好吧我们都看过《杰拉尔多》特别集