家有喜旺（2010）
Raising Hope
第二季
剧集 | 家有喜旺（2010） | 导航列表
家有喜旺（2010）
Raising Hope S02E03
Part 3
Nov. 24, 2020, 1:26 p.m.
Oh, top shelf?
在柜子最上层
Yeah, top shelf.
对 柜子最上层
You need to face facts:
你得面对现实
that deadbeat husband of yours
你那死相老公
is never coming back.
是不会回来了
And you need a man.
而你需要一个男人
That Ross isn't going to keep trying forever to win you over.
罗斯可不会永远讨好你 追求你
As soon as that police department needs someone
只要警♥察♥局有一个
to crawl through a small opening,
小升职的空缺
he'll be gone.
他就跑了
I'm willing to climb for you.
我愿为你勇攀高峰
Maybe it was time to move on.
也许是时候放下了
And the more I paid attention, the more I saw
我越注意观察 就越发现
how different things were with Ross here.
罗斯使这里发生了多大的变化
We were nicer, more cooperative.
我们更加和谐 更加美满
Like poor white Cosbys.
就像白人版的《考斯比一家》
And I never realized how sexy it was,
我从没想过和一个
living with a man who leaves more milk in the carton
会记得补充牛奶而不会乱撒的男人一起生活
than on his shirt.
会是多么的迷人
Plus it was nice not having to worry about a splash landing
而且我再也不用担心上厕所时
every time I used the toilet.
因为某人不掀起马桶圈而沾到污渍了
I could even see some pluses to sleeping with a guy
而且有个睡觉占地比小猎犬还少的男人
who took up less room on the bed than a cocker spaniel.
也是好处多多
Oh. Hi.
早上好
Sorry, Virginia. Thought I heard a noise.
对不起 维吉妮亚 我听见有动静
Came in to check, and I guess I must've fallen asleep.
就进来看看 结果睡着了
And it wasn't just me.
不止我有这种好感
Jimmy was way more relaxed.
吉米也变得更加放松了
He got along better with Ross than he ever did with Burt.
他和罗斯的相处比跟伯特好多了
And the tiny knight?
小个骑士呢
He saved the queen and the young prince,
他拯救了皇后和小王子
and swept them away to live with him
带着他们和他一起
in his three-bedroom, end-unit castle,
住在他那有三间卧房♥的城♥堡♥里
with below-ground parking!
而且还有地下花♥园♥哦
And there, they drank unlimited fizzy pop,
他们在那儿喝着喝不完的汽水
and played ping-pong happily ever after.
打着乒乓 从此幸福地生活在一起
The end.
剧终
Good night.
晚安
I give up.
我投降
The three sweetest words in the English language.
这是英语中最美妙的三个字
You and your mom are going to love living with me.
你和你妈妈会很喜欢和我一起住的
Ping-pong!
乒乓
That was just elaboration for the story,
那只是故事说说而已
but I do have some fizzy pop.
不过我还真有不少汽水
I have some suitcases you could use.
我还有几个箱子可以给你用
I'll go grab them. Oh!
我去拿
I'm going to make you the happiest woman on earth.
我会让你成为世上最幸福的女人
Burt!
伯特
You're alive!
你还活着
Well, you know about my never say die attitude.
我可没那么容易死 你懂的
That's basically it.
就这么回事
I'll fill in the rest later.
晚点再说
I need a shower.
我要先洗个澡
Hey, little fella, what are you doing here?
啊 小家伙 你在这干啥
Oh, um... Ross has just been staying here
罗斯守在这里
in case the kidnappers called.
以防绑♥架♥者来电♥话♥
Oh...
原来如此
Well, you can leave now.
你现在可以走了
Thanks.
谢谢
You're not really going to stay with that loser, are you?
你不会真打算跟这败类过一辈子吧
V-Virginia, come on, please.
维吉妮亚 别这样对我
I'll cook, I'll clean, I'll put the toilet seat down.
我会做饭 会收拾屋子 还会把马桶盖盖上
I'm a great role model for your son.
我是你儿子成长的好榜样
You're just so short.
可惜你太矮了
I can't believe while I was possibly being kidnapped
真不敢相信 我有可能真被绑♥架♥了
and possibly being forced into white slavery,
甚至可能被逼良为娼
you were playing house with the guy in health class
你却跟个娘炮野男人一起
who threw up watching You and Your Fluids.
玩着过家家
That puker stepped up and took care of your family
你跟个流浪汉在外面"交换口水"的时候
while you were out swapping spit with a drifter.
是那个野男人挺身而出照顾着你的家人
It was a closed-mouth kiss.
那只是轻触唇瓣
No spit was swapped.
绝对没沾到口水
Yours is worse.
你比较恶劣
Excuse me.
不好意思
Why do you people keep hitting me in the head?
你们为啥一直砸我脑袋啊
I'm sorry, that was my fault.
对不起 是我的错
It's kind of my go-to thing.
是我自己想当然了
Here, put this on it.
用这个敷一下
I guess I probably deserve it.
我觉得我可能是活该
Every time I go past the world's largest confessional,
每次我路过世界上最大的教堂
I try to clear my conscience, but I just can't shake
我都会竭力忏悔 但我始终无法忘记
the awful thing I did to your family.
自己对你们家所做的坏事
What awful thing?
什么坏事
Well, I promised your old lady that I'd never tell, but
我跟你家的老太太保证过不说 但是...
I figure after 20 years she's long been dead, so...
我想20年后她应该死了很久了 所以...
What old lady?
什么老太太
I think her name was, uh...
我记得她好像叫...
That hippie talks too damn much.
这死嬉皮说得太多了
I ain't telling. You can't make me.
我不会说的 你们不能强迫我
Make you?
强迫你
You were already in the middle of telling us.
你本来都说到一半了
I was?
是吗
Okay, then.
那好吧
Where was I?
我说到哪了
The beginning.
刚开头
Of course.
当然
Uh...
是这样
I never liked Burt very much.
我一直不太喜欢伯特
And since it was painfully clear that Virginia and her kid
而且残酷而清晰的事实是 维吉妮亚和她儿子
weren't going anywhere, I had to at least try to
不可能搬出去住了 那我起码得试着
get Burt out of the picture.
把伯特弄走吧
So I did whatever I could to cause a little friction.
所以我开始竭尽所能地挑拨离间
Burt! God!
伯特 神啊
Your stupid leg is on my leg!
你的猪腿压到我了
I even got the kid hopped up on sugar
我甚至让孩子疯狂吃糖
so he'd be a hyperactive pain in the ass.
好让他兴奋地一直闹腾停不下来
But no matter what I did,
可不管我做什么
I couldn't separate Mr. And Mrs. Freeloader.
始终无法离间这一对吃白食的狗男女
So I came up with my master plan.
于是我只能实施我的大计划了
I hired a drifter to convince Burt to run away with him.
我雇了个流浪汉去说服伯特跟他一起走
Luckily, all the man wanted in return
很幸运 那人要求的回报
was to do a little kissing.
只是轻轻的一个吻
Then I just had to make sure that Burt
于是我只需要确保到那天
would want to run away that day.
伯特会萌生离开的念头
So I siphoned the gas out of the tank...
就这样 我把油箱的油吸了出来
which was disgusting,
恶心死了
but did get the taste of drifter out of my mouth.
但总算祛除了流浪汉在我嘴里留下的余味
And I gave Jimmy as much sugar
然后在吉米的小心脏能承受的范围内
as his tiny little heart could handle.
给他吃了很多糖
I knew by the time you met up with Jack
我知道等你们遇到杰克时
you'd be ready to rip each other's throats out.
肯定该吵翻天了
Then Burt here threw me a curveball
可伯特却编了个被绑♥架♥的故事
by faking the whole kidnapping thing.
简直让我猝不及防
I saw an opportunity when Officer Wyatt Twerp showed up.
不过当正义警官出现的时候 我看到了机会
I trained Ross to know how to keep Virginia happier
我教罗斯如何哄维吉妮亚开心
than she was with Burt.
让她觉得比跟伯特在一起幸福
I even cut all Jimmy's sugar out
我甚至断了吉米的糖路
so he'd seem calmer around Ross.
好让他在罗斯身边就会变得安静
It was all going great...
一切原本都很完美
until Burt came back.
可是伯特回来了
家有喜旺（2010）
Raising Hope
剧集 | 家有喜旺（2010） | 导航列表