家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S02E10

Part 1 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:28 p.m.

Stop it!
别动
Hope made this for me at day care.
这可是喜旺在日托所给我做的
It's not for eating.
不是给你吃的
If I was wearing food, I'd share it with you.
我要是身上挂串吃的肯定会和你分享的
Come on. Just a...
来嘛就吃一口
Shh! Trailers are the best part.
轻点我最爱看预告片了
I enjoy Jack Black for 30 seconds at a time.
我对杰克·布莱克每次只能喜爱30秒
Shh!
小点声
I'll be quiet when the cartoon popcorn
等卡♥通♥爆米花出场
tells me to be quiet.
它说安静我就安静
In every neighborhood , there's a house like this.
在每个社区都有这样一栋房♥子
And in every house like that,
而每栋这样的房♥子里
there's a family like this.
都住着这样一户家庭
Pull my finger, Grandma.
拔一下我的手指奶奶
But this Christmas, this family is getting a gift
可这个圣诞非同寻常这家人收到了一份
they didn't expect.
意想不到的厚礼
I got a serial killer pregnant, and now she's dead
我把一个连环杀手的肚子搞大了可现在她死了
and I have to raise the baby...!
留下了个孩子
We ain't raising no baby! I clean toilets all day.
咱家没法养孩子我白天已经忙着扫厕所了
I ain't cleaning no baby diapers all night long!
可不想晚上还要收拾尿布
I already cleaned Grand Ma Ma's.
奶奶的尿布已经够我受的了
I like her.
我喜欢
How will this family of idiots raise a baby
这群连自己都照顾不好的傻瓜
when they can barely keep themselves alive?
要怎么带大一个小宝宝
I don't know why people wait for their toast
真搞不懂别人为什么要等面包弹出来
to come out to butter it.
再抹黄油
Me... even stupider now!
惨了现在更蠢了
Me electrocute brain!
快被电酥了
This Christmas, dumb gets a new name:
这个圣诞傻子们有了新名字
It can't be us. It can't be us. It can't be us.
不会是我们不会是我们不会是我们
The Chances of Natesville
那什维尔镇上的吉斯家
You'll be glad you're not them.
你会为自己不是他们而高兴万分的
Whackadoo!
哇咔咔
I got a little crazy last night
我昨晚在律师协会办的
at the Bar Association Christmas party.
派对上玩得有点疯
You gotta stop these people from putting this movie out!
你必须阻止那些人公开上映这部电影
According to my research, Lucy's family sold the rights
据我所知露西家人把他们女儿的
to their daughter's story,
故事版权卖♥♥了个好价钱
which they weren't that interested in
没想到对方看过后
except for the parts that involved your family.
只对你们一家的故事饶有兴致
Well, we didn't sell our story!
我们可没卖♥♥掉我们的故事
Well, apparently, Jimmy did.
貌似吉米卖♥♥了
What? Jimmy! What in the hell?
什么吉米什么乱七八糟的
I don't remember signing any...
我不记得有签过什么
Oh, wait.
等等
I can't believe I won a beach ball.
真不敢相信我竟然中了个沙滩球
I've never won anything.
我这辈子都没中过奖
Yeah, it's all yours.
这下全是你的了
You just need to sign these documents
劳驾签一下这份文件吧
in case of any possible injury caused by the beach ball.
以防你被这球弄伤
Dad, you're not gonna believe this!
老爸你绝对不会相信
A beach ball, Jimmy?
就为了个沙滩球吉米
You can get one of those for free at a concert
只要你跑得够快
if you can snatch it out of the air and run fast enough!
你完全可以在音乐会上免费捞个回来
I told you not to answer the door after
早告诉你在耶♥和♥华♥见证会后
we got you back from the Jehovah's Witnesses!
别随便开门了
Kelly, can you bring me some aspirin?
凯莉给我拿点阿司匹林进来
Wally, you gotta shut this movie down!
沃利你必须阻止这部电影上映
It opens tomorrow night!
明天就要公映了
If the whole world sees this,
要是被全世界人看到
we're gonna to be famous in the bad way,
我们可就臭名昭著了
like that no-name actor from Lost
堪比《迷失》里那个
who married that 16-year-old girl.
娶了16岁女孩的无名氏
I slept with my assistant last night.
我昨晚睡了我的助理
That's gonna make things awkward around here.
搞得现在气氛好尴尬
Forget about what people think of us.
就算不关别人怎么想我们
What about Hope? I mean, the whole world now knows
可喜旺怎么办这下全世界都知道
she's the daughter of a serial killer.
她是杀人犯的女儿了
And the guy playing me makes me look like I have a paunch.
还有演我那男人竟然顶着个啤酒肚
Well, that would be upsetting
这点真是不可理喻
because your abs are dynamite.
瞧你的小腹多健美
But they have your signature.
可他们有你亲手签下的名
There's nothing I can do.
我真的无能为力
Now, if there was something wrong with your beach ball...
除非在那个沙滩球上动动脑筋
No.
不要
It was awesome.
那个可好玩了
Well, the Natesvle Times has weighed in.
那什维尔晚报也来瞎掺和
"Chances are you'll enjoy laughing at these imbeciles."
给自己一个疯狂嘲笑傻瓜的机会
Which I thought was okay
本来还觉得没什么问题
till I looked up the word "Imbeciles."
但一看到傻瓜两个字
Not good.
我就很不爽
Well, Hope's asleep and waiting for Santa.
喜旺睡着了等着圣诞老人的到来
Does anybody want to go get a tree?
咱去买♥♥棵树吧
I feel like stringing lights up
我觉得把彩灯挂在那上面
on something a bit safer than a bathtub.
比挂浴缸里安全些
Apparently, that operator I called this morning wasn't able
难怪昨天那个接线员怎么都
to get our names out of the phone books because now we got
听不清我们的名字
a bunch lookie-loos gawking at our house!
都怪门口那些看热闹的
Hey, you wanna take a picture of something?!
想拍照是吧
Take a picture of this!
拍个够吧
I wouldn't go out there, Jimmy.
打死我也不出去吉米
Someone might try to convince you
怕有人会想跟你
to trade our house for a yo-yo.
用溜溜球换这栋房♥子
Oh, fine, I get it. I'm stupid!
好了知道啦我最蠢
Yes! And now, thanks to you,
没错多亏了你
everyone's gonna believe the nonsense in that movie
全世界都会相信电影里的屁话
and think we're trash.
当我们是废柴
Move over, Burt, I want in on this.
过去点伯特我也来
It's not just me.
不全是我的错
We're all stupid!
我们都很二
You guys are always doing stupid stuff like...
你们不也老是做蠢事
Like what?
比如说
Name something.
你说啊
The Christmas lights in the tub?
你们把圣诞彩灯挂浴缸里
Ah, you already said that. Admit it, you're the dumb one
这条已经说过了承认吧
for selling the movie people your rights.
卖♥♥了著作权的你才是最二的
It's not my fault. I'm your kid.
不能怪我我可是你们的儿子
If I'm dumb, it's because I've got you guy-ses "D" And "A".
我的二也遗传自你们的D&A
I'm getting a tree!
买♥♥树去咯
I just had the most invigorating bath.
我刚洗了个超爽的澡
Oh, man...
天哪
Hey, what are you guys doing?!
干嘛呢你们
You promised me you weren't gonna see the movie!
说好不看这部电影的
To be fair, we never thought you'd find out.
坦白说真没想到会被你逮个正着
Sorry, James. It looks funny.
抱歉詹姆士电影看上去挺有意思的
I did it for employee morale.
正好给员工们打打气
Not yours, of course.
当然不包括你
If you were anyone but you, you'd understand.
设身处地想想你就明白了
Guys, I got a purse full of licorice...
伙计们我带了好多甘草糖
Ooh! Mama mia!
妈妈咪呀
A-what-a Christmas is this!
多美妙的圣诞节啊
I got to go to make-a de pizza.
我要去做个披萨
You think he bought that?
你们觉得他被我忽悠过去了吗
my friends are jerks...
我的朋友都是混♥蛋♥
and now my daughter's gonna be
我女儿要变成
the laughingstock of the whole country!
全国的笑柄了
Your singing is the only thing I haven't screwed up!
你的歌♥声是我唯一没搞砸的
And now I screwed that up by talking...
现在我要出手了
Thanks, Clarence.
谢谢克拉伦斯
I have some announcements to make!
我有话要说