家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S02E17

Part 1 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:30 p.m.

Very funny, Hope,
喜旺真调皮啊
but, uh, you need your spoon to eat your oat meal.
可没了勺子你怎么吃糊糊呢
No!
就不要
Denied.
不给面子啊
She did the same thing to me last night
昨晚她不肯吃豆子
when she wouldn't eat her peas.
也是这样把碗朝我一丢
Yeah, she's getting an attitude.
咱家喜旺脾气见长啊
Yesterday I told her not to touch the knobs on the stove.
昨天我让她别碰煤气开关
She didn't use her fingers,
万幸她没比中指
but her eyes were flipping me the bird.
不过她的眼神已经说明了一切
She's just being funny.
她只是好玩而已
She's testing you.
人这是试探你
She's like that crazy old dead guy in North Korea
就像朝鲜那个翘辫子的疯老头
with all those missiles.
捣鼓导弹搅合你
She's almost as tall.
他俩都快差不多高了
You need to keep that in check.
你得管管她了
What do you mean, like yell her or something?
什么意思冲她吼几句
We're best friends.
我们可是铁哥们
Best friends don't yell at each other.
铁哥们要相亲相爱
Sure they do, what about the Three Stooges?
少来没看过活宝三人组吗
or the Car Talk guys?
《车迷天下》的冤家兄弟
Rizzoli and Isles.
还有《妙女神探》
Good morning.
各位早啊
Coffee?
来点咖啡吗
Uh, no thanks. Do you guys have tea?
不用有茶吗
Yes, we have tea
有哇不过我们
after we finish cleaning our chimney.
一般清完烟囱才喝茶
What say
这样吧
we make a couple of mugs and sip it with our pinkies out,
我们泡上几杯翘着兰花指品品茶
and then we'll put another shrimp on the barbie.
然后再送你瓶脑白金
I'm just gonna take this little skit
废这么半天话
as your way of telling me that you don't have tea.
就是说没茶咯
Oh, no, we have tea.
不不我家有茶
It's on that shelf behind the crackers
就在放咸饼干那层
next to the beef bouillon cubes.
挨着牛肉味浓汤宝
Oh, I forgot about those. Grab me one.
差点忘记浓汤宝了帮我拿一块
They're like meat-flavored hard candies.
它们就像肉味硬糖
Something's under the house.
屋子底下有东西
Oh, no!
又来了
What was that?
怎么了
I hear teeth. I hear claws.
听那尖牙利爪摩挲的吱吱声
I hear a tail.
一甩一甩地小尾巴
It's a beaver!
是海狸
It's not a beaver, you always say beaver.
那不是海狸你老这么说
I think you just like saying beaver.
我看你就是喜欢说这个词
I do like saying beaver.
海狸念着多顺口啊
Raccoon.
我说是浣熊
Don't worry. I'll get rid of it.
别一惊一乍的我来搞定
Isn't that kind of more of a husband job?
这不是男人该干的活吗
Well, you'd think.
就是说啊
Some people around here get a little nutty
不过某些人一看到小动物
when it comes to small animals.
就神经兮兮的
Just marsupials and aquatic mammals.
人家也就怕那种长袋子和水里游的
And raccoons, dirty little weasels.
浣熊也好吓人还有脏兮兮的小鼬鼠
Oh, and weasels.
没错鼬鼠
Fortunately, I hate turning the lights on
好在我讨厌每周五
every Friday night for the orthodox Jewish family across the street,
给对街那家犹太人开灯
so Burt takes care of that.
就跟伯特做了交换
Okay, all right, all right.
好吧好吧
Uh, give me one more shot.
我再试一次
Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam badoor?
天佑我主嘛咪嘛咪哄[犹太教祈祷词]
Oy vay, those Bronsteins are so meshuganah.
那家人确实轰轰癫癫的[犹太语]
She was the first Porkchester of my collection.
她是我收藏的第一个小猪娃
The little swine I feel in love with,
我的初恋小猪猪
who introduced me to the world of pig-ur-enes,
引领我进入了猪娃的世界
and now she's gone.
现在就这么没了
Well, we could scoop up the pieces
我们可以把碎片扫一扫
and put her in the urn with Paw Paw.
放在爷爷的骨灰坛里
He'd probably like some company anyway.
他可能正缺个伴儿呢
Or, I could just try to fix her.
我还是试着修修看吧
How is Hope?
喜旺今天乖不
Well, her serial killer mother would be very proud.
她那杀手老妈一定会倍感骄傲
She slaughtered her first victim today.
她今天首开杀戒
We lost a Porkchester.
我们失去了一个好猪娃
Oh, I'm sorry.
抱歉
Are you sure Hope did it?
真是喜旺干的吗
Yes, I'm sure she did it.
肯定是她
And that's not all, I caught her in the hallway today
还不止呢今天她在走道上
drawing on the wall with markers.
用记号♥笔往墙上乱涂乱画
I washed it off,
我洗掉后
but then I had a big clean spot on the wall.
发现墙上干净的这块好不搭调
So, now I got to either wash the whole wall,
所以我要么把整面墙都洗一遍
or figure out how to make the spot dirty again.
要么想法子把那块再弄脏
We should only buy markers that are the color of our walls.
就该只买♥♥和咱家墙一个色的记号♥笔
Then, when I was washing up the marker,
就在我埋头洗墙时
she climbs up on the chair, grabs two Porkchesters,
她竟爬上椅子抓起两个猪娃
and throws them at me!
朝我扔过来
I could only catch Paddy.
我只救下了帕蒂
Did you yell at her?
你吼她了吗
Well, I'm not yelling at her.
才没有
I want her to like me.
我可不想她讨厌我
Well, I'm not yelling at her. I want her to like me, too.
我也不要凶她搞得她讨厌我啊
Well, grandmothers don't yell.
咱做奶奶的从不大小声
We get to give them butterscotch candies and nickels.
我们向来唱红脸
Parents have to do all the dirty work.
白脸留给当爹妈的唱
And besides, she's hardheaded like you were.
再说了她跟你一样牛脾气
I don't think yelling's going to be strong enough.
嚷嚷也起不到效果
Are you saying I should spank her?
你是让我打她屁屁吗
Not hard, just a...
装装样子而已
little eensy-weensy "Boop," just to get her attention.
轻轻一拍让她记住教训
It worked with you.
这招对你很灵
Wait, are you saying you spanked me?
等等你以前常打我屁屁吗
See, you don't even remember it.
瞧你自己都不记得了
How bad could it have been?
能严重到哪去
You were just a little older than Hope is now
你那会也就比喜旺大一点儿
when you started to be a real pain in the butt
一让你吃蔬菜
about eating your vegetables.
你就成了混世小魔王
Take a bite, Jimmy.
吉米就咬一小口
Bite me, Burt.
有种咬我伯特
After we let you get away with that,
你那次得逞后
you wouldn't listen to us when we told you
让你关电视去睡觉
it was time to turn off the TV and go to bed.
你也不肯听了
Come at me, bro! Come at me!
来啊哥们倒是来啊
Let's do this!
过来啊
Come at me, bro! Ah!
有种打我啊傻大个儿
We couldn't even get you to clean up your room.
你甚至不肯乖乖打扫自己的房♥间
Magazine says to be encouraging.
杂♥志♥上说了要鼓励孩子
Hey, son of mine.
爹爹的乖宝宝
What do you say we take some pride in our play space
打扫一下自己的小天地多关荣呀
and clean up our room?
咱也光荣一把好吗
How do you like me now, son?
小子这下你满意了吧
I think it's time to spank him.
我看得揍他一顿了
I thought we both agreed to be the
咱不是说好要当那种
do-nothing-but-hope-for-the-best kind of parents?
坐等奇迹的爹妈吗
Well, that's not working anymore,
看来是行不通了
and we're running out of options.
我们被逼到绝路上了
And windows.
咱家窗户也是
I guess it needs to be done.
看来是非打不可了
Okay, good luck.
祝你好运
Wait, why do I have to spank him?
凭什么让我打啊