家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S02E18

Part 4 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:31 p.m.

Maybe there'll be an accident,
也许你会意外怀孕
and maybe Robert will do the right thing
也许罗伯特会做出正确选择
and you'll have a family and be happy just like me.
你们跟我一样幸福美满
But...
但是
you'll always wonder why he stayed.
你会一直怀疑他不离开的理由
Was it for you or the baby?
是因为你还是为了孩子
You'll always wonder if you kept him from something,
你总会怀疑自己
from being something more.
是不是拖了他很多后腿
Let's be honest-- probably not a lot more,
虽说他也没什么让我拖的
but something.
但你就是会怀疑
Did he stay because he wanted to
到底是他想和你在一起
or because he had to?
还是他不得不和你在一起
I poked a hole in the condom.
我在套套上戳了个洞
What?
啥
Not your condom; our condom.
不是你们的套套是我们的
Burt, what are you...?
伯特你搞什么
Look, Virginia, from the moment I met you,
维吉尼亚我见到你的第一眼
I knew you were the one.
就知道今生非你不娶
I also knew you were way, way out of my league.
我也知道配不上你
I was not.
没有吧
I was in a back brace.
我当时还带着颈椎矫正器呢
That was a bonus.
那令你魅力倍增
It was like you were hot and bionic.
你显得性感又高端
Plus smart and funny.
而且聪明又搞笑
I knew my only shot
我知道唯一的机会就是
was to get you pregnant so you had to marry me
在你意识到自己能找个高富帅前
before you figured out you could do better.
让你怀孕然后不得不嫁给我
So, your plan for a lifetime of happiness
所以说你幸福生活计划就是
was to trick me into getting pregnant at 15 years old?
骗我十五岁就怀孕
That was the best I could come up with.
这是我能想到最好的主意
Well... it's hard to argue with your results.
有了这么美满的家我都没法怪你
I'm confused.
我搞不懂了
Does that mean we're supposed to have sex or not have sex or...
那到底我们这床单还滚不滚
Do whatever you want. We don't care.
随便啦跟我们没关系
It was never really about you.
本来也不想管你们的鸟事
Oh... look. Oh...
哦天哪
Happy anniversary, darling.
结婚纪念日快乐宝贝儿
It's beautiful.
真美啊
What the hell is going on?
你们在搞什么鬼啊
We're just giving Maw Maw a special memory.
我们在给曾奶奶一个特别的回忆
It's cool. I'm fine with it.
没事我能接受
He's allowed to touch anything above the waist,
我允许他触摸腰部以上的范围
and her boobs are so low,
反正曾奶奶那么下垂的胸
that doesn't really allow for much of anything.
基本也没啥可摸的
When it comes to wives,
作为妻子
Barbara June, you are the cat's meow.
芭芭拉·琼你实在是超凡脱俗
Speaking of things that purr,
说到脱
I have a gift you can open.
我有个礼物等你打开
Here's a hint.
小提示
It's my legs.
是我的腿哦
Okay, we're done.
好吧到此为止了
Why am I wet?
我怎么湿了
And why are there decorations out here?
这些装饰是搞什么鬼
Did I drown in the tub, and this is my wake?
是不是我在浴缸淹死了这是追悼会吗
I'm here. I'm here.
我在这里哦这里哦
You're not dead, Maw Maw.
你还没死奶奶
Damn it, this life is taking forever.
我去这辈子还有完没完了
This is Wilfrid's and my song.
这是威尔弗雷德和我的歌♥
Really? I didn't know that.
真的啊我都不知道
Oh yeah, we danced this song years ago
这是多年前我们在结婚纪念日上
on a wonderful anniversary.
跳过的曲子
You see, Wilfred gave me this necklace,
你看威尔弗雷德还送我这条项链
it's my favorite memory,
那是我最美妙的回忆
that's why I...
也是我
never take it off.
从不取下它的原因
Well I guess I'll never be getting that necklace back.
看来我那条项链是要不回来了
I'll get you a new necklace on our anniversary
等我们周年纪念我给你买♥♥条新的
which I promise to never forget.
向你发誓我永远不会忘记咱们的纪念日
You tasted like your great-grandmother.
你嘴有曾奶奶的味道
I'll brush my teeth.
这就去刷牙