家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S02E09

Part 1 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:27 p.m.

There's a lot of things you do when you have a daughter
当你有了女儿后
that you never pictured yourself doing.
便会做出许多以前打死也想不到的事情
This is so much cuter now that I took in the waist.
收了下腰真是可爱多了
Little by little, you start to change.
渐渐地你越陷越深
Okay, Hope, who do you think wore it better?
喜旺啊你觉得谁穿的比较好看
Jessica Biel or Lea Michele?
杰西卡·贝尔还是丽亚·米雪儿
You're crazy.
真没眼光
And before you know it,
在你意识到这些之前
you're just not the same guy you used to be.
你就已面目全非了
You know, girls, I think I like making them
姑娘们我愈发觉得自己
almost as much as eating them.
对做菜的热爱已经快赶上吃菜了
Am I right?
没错吧
And the weird part is,
最诡异的是
you don't even realize you've changed
直到有人想把你拽出火坑的那一刹那
until someone finally calls you out on it.
你才会意识到你变了
Stop being a girl.
别娘了
I'm not saying to stop being a great dad.
我不是不让你做个好爸爸
Just butch it up a little.
只是拜托你像点男人吧
You don't want other guys seeing you do this stuff.
要是被别的男孩看到你做这些多糗啊
You don't want girls seeing you do it.
妹子们也不会喜欢这样的男人
You think Sabrina wants to be with a guy
你还指望塞布丽娜会和个
who cries at cell phone commercials?
看看手♥机♥广♥告♥都能黯然神伤的人厮守一生么
It's just that one.
只有那一个广♥告♥而已
The guy finds a teddy bear
那男的发现他女儿
his daughter put in his suitcase, and...
在他手提箱里藏了只泰迪熊
he calls her all the way from China.
于是即使身在中国也要打电♥话♥给她
Oh, you're a mess, dude.
你完了哥们儿
Women like sensitive guys.
女人喜欢柔情汉
Where'd you hear that?
听谁说的
Mom. Please.
妈妈别听她的
Women think they like sensitive men.
女人以为自己喜欢多情的
But they also want someone with a little bit of danger.
但男人不坏女人不爱
I'm not saying you got to be a ten on the macho scale.
我也不是要你做个满分男子汉
I mean, your patchy beard growth rules that out.
你那稀稀拉拉的胡须实在不够格
But you used to be a seven.
但你以前再怎么也有七分
Ever since the baby came along,
可自从有了宝宝
you've been moving down to about a five.
你直线降到五分
That's just above Rosie O'Donnell.
就比罗西·欧唐纳高那么一点点
You think that's what Sabrina's looking for?
你真以为塞布丽娜想找这种男人
I don't know.
我不知道
What number are you? I'm an eight.
那你几分我八分
It's the perfect number for a man.
作为男人的最优得分
I have a little bit of sensitivity
谈着吉他喝着小酒的我
because I play guitar, and my love of daiquiris.
柔情似水
That, and you have a rating system for men.
你还有套男人评分系统
Exactly.
没错
But your mom fell in love with me
但你妈妈会爱上我
because I also have my dangerous side.
是因为我同时也有危险的一面
I smuggle fireworks across the border.
我在边境走私烟火
I give cops a lot of lip.
跟条子死磕
I dry-humped the school mascot at homecoming.
还在同学会上和学校吉祥物贴身热舞
Your mother claims she hated that kind of stuff,
你妈嘴里说讨厌这些
but hey, she let me knock her up.
但她还部是臣服于我
Well, I'm not going to become a smuggler,
我才不要做走私犯
or talk back to cops or hump mascots.
也不会跟条子顶嘴更不会跟吉祥物热舞
Well, you got to find
你要有你自己的风格
your own thing, then-- something dangerous
在她不讨厌的范围里
that she'll want to hear about.
耍耍小坏
You got to get your edge back, man.
找回你自己吧孩子
I haven't lost my edge.
我没丢失我自己
It was a windy day outside the black church,
外面好大的风我在黑人教堂门口
so I got a couple of good ones.
捡到不少好东东
I'll go make your virgin mint juleps.
我去给你们调杯圣洁的薄荷朱利酒
Our pretty little ponies are running
我有一头小毛驴我从来也不骑
in the Pretty Little Kentucky Derby later.
有一天我心血来潮骑着去赶集
Maybe I've lost a bit of my edge.
我真得拯救自己了
What are you doing up there?
干嘛呢你
Just having my lunch break where it's dangerous.
就想找个危险的地方午休
Guess I'm kind of a daredevil.
勇者范儿有没有
I guess so.
有有有
Well, I like living on the edge.
我就是个铤而走险的人
And, apparently, I'm not
但貌似
the first person to have lunch up here.
有人先我一步驻扎这里了
There's raisins on this beam.
梁上还放了些葡萄干
It's not a raisin.
不是葡萄干
James, James, James!
詹姆士詹姆士詹姆士
Do we all need to watch
我们是不是该
the company's work safety video again?
重温下安全生产录像了
I would like to cordially invite you both
我非常诚挚地邀请你们
to my uncle's party tonight.
参加我舅舅今晚办的派对
Oh, uh, I can't.
我去不了
Uh, I'm, uh, waxing my floors,
我得在家给地板打蜡
my, uh, car,
还有我的车
my skis, my legs.
我的皮肤还有腿
I have a lot of wax I need to get rid of.
身上肯定沾了很多蜡要弄掉
What about you, Sabrina?
你呢塞布丽娜
Oh, I can't.
我也不行
I have really bad diarrhea.
我一直在拉肚子
Well, that's a shame
真遗憾
'cause we're going to get some beer
我们打算带着啤酒
and blow stuff up in the park.
去公园玩点刺♥激♥的
You're so lucky he didn't look up.
你该庆幸他没抬头
You didn't even have to make up an excuse.
借口都省了
And now I have to go wax my legs
我得去蜜蜡脱毛了
'cause you can bet Frank will be
我敢打赌弗兰克
checking my calves tomorrow.
明天回来会查我小腿
I don't understand why
真想不通
anybody would would want to go Frank's party.
会有人去弗兰克家的派对
I mean, it just sounds dangerous.
听听就很危险
Dangerous, huh?
危险
Hey, Frank, what time is that party?
弗兰克几点的派对
I'm in.
我来
I don't like the idea of you
我觉得你去和弗兰克
blowing stuff up with Frank.
一起搞破坏不好
He's creepy.
太恐怖了
You know, he gets this from you.
都是你教的
This is like one of those
跟你高中做的蠢事
idiot things you did in high school.
如出一辙
You know what's one of the idiot things she did in high school?
想不想听听一件她在高中做的蠢事
Me.
就是我
'Cause I'm dangerous.
因为我很危险
Go get 'em, danger boy!
干掉他们坏小孩
Jimmy!
吉米
You ready to blow something up?
准备好开吹了吗
Uh, I think I'm just going to watch things first.
我想我还是先观摩一下为好
All right, watch the master.
也好看看大♥师♥的功力
So this is blowing things up?
就是吹这个
Do you blow them up until they explode?
是要吹爆为止吗
No, dude. Just till you get dizzy.
不伙计把自己吹晕就行了
Morning.
早
You want eggs or toast for breakfast?
早饭要吃鸡蛋还是面包
But keep in mind, if you say eggs,
友情提醒要鸡蛋的话
you're going to be disappointed.
可能会令你失望
What's going on?
发生什么了
Where am I?
我这是在哪儿
My place.
我家
You passed out.
你昨晚晕过去了
I know I said I'd carry you home,
我知道我说过要送你回家的
but dizzy Frank isn't good
但头晕中的弗兰克
about keeping his promises.
可不擅于遵守诺言