家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S02E11

Part 1 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:28 p.m.

Hey.
我回来了
All right.
真是的
Who put the shapes in the sorter for Hope?
谁又帮着喜旺把积木塞好了
She's never going to learn if we keep doing it for her.
这样她永远都学不会
I didn't do it. I've just been playing with this slinky
不是我我一直在玩机灵鬼
for the past two hours.
玩了两个多小时
Oh, my God, she's doing it on her own.
天呐是她自己办到的
She can do the shape-sorter. Good job, sweetie.
她会自己按形状塞积木了厉害啊小宝贝
That's better than good. That is amazing.
岂止厉害根本是个天才
I mean, you were still struggling with that toy
想想你四岁时还被这玩蛋玩意儿
when you were four.
给折腾得灰头土脸呢
Virginia!
维吉妮亚
He's getting frustrated again.
他又要崩溃了
Bring the sugar!
快把糖拿来
Stupid star!
笨星星
You never really did have a knack for the shape-sorter.
你一直没能掌握玩这个的诀窍
We finally just took that toy away
我们只好拿走这玩具
and gave you a bucket of checkers.
换了一筐棋给你
We said if you could just pick out one at a time, you win!
并说只要你一次只挑一个就算你赢了
Oh, yeah. I remember that.
这我记得
Ooh, I was awesome at Checker-Bucket.
我棋子玩得可厉害了
How the hell do you open this thing?
这玩意儿怎么这么难开啊
Ah, you're such a good mom.
你真是个好妈妈
Ohh... Cute.
好可爱
What is she, about two?
她多大了两岁吗
Just about.
差不多
She play with the shape-sorter yet?
会玩形状盒了吗
Not yet. She gets frustrated.
还不太会总是失败
My daughter's a whiz at it.
我女儿玩那个可厉害了
Have you tried making a checker-bucket?
你可以尝试给她做个象棋盒
It's where you put the checkers in,
就是把棋子全放进去
and let them take it out one at at a time.
让她一次拿一枚出来
It's good for the slower kids.
这对起步晚的孩子很有效
That's what my parents did for me.
我爸妈就是这么带我的
Oh, they must be very proud.
他们肯定很为你自豪
Are you able to live on your own, sweetheart?
孩子你现在独♥立♥了吗
Not yet.
还没
Well, someday.
嗯总会的
Still annoying customers by bragging about your genius baby?
又因为吹嘘自己的天才宝宝把客人气跑了吗
I was gonna go with "Highly gifted,"
我本来只想说"稍有才华"的
but if you want to throw the word "Genius" Around,
可你非要说"天赋异禀"的话
I'm not gonna argue with you.
我也不好意思跟你争了
It's good you're proud of her,
真好你以她为傲
and not threatened by her like my dad was.
而不是像我爸一样对自己女儿羡慕嫉妒恨
Every time I'd answer more Jeopardy questions than him,
每次看人机大对决只要我答出的比他多
he'd accuse me of sleeping with Alex Trebek.
他就开始唠叨我和艾利克斯·特雷贝克睡觉的事
It's a tough thing for a 12-year-old.
这对一个12岁的孩子来说太残酷了
Well, I'm not threatened.
我才没嫉妒她
Besides, it's not like she's smarter than me.
况且谁说她比我聪明了
She's a baby. Well, not yet.
她还是个孩子暂时而已
But if she's not even two and she's smarter than you were at four,
毕竟她两岁时就比你四岁时聪明了
then it's only a matter of time
她要超越你
before she's smarter than you. Do the math.
只是时间问题好好算算吧
I can't do the math.
我不会算术
I can't do the math!
我居然不会算术
Okay. I was four and she's two.
我四岁她两岁
So, when she's four, I'll be eight.
所以等她四岁我就八岁了
No, wait a second. That's not right.
不对不对
Sucks, man. I'm glad we never had to worry about
可怜的娃幸好我不用担心
a kid being smarter than us.
孩子比咱聪明
Hey! No offense.
喂不是故意针对你
But we always knew you'd be dumb.
但我们向来知道你是个二♥逼♥孩子
'Cause we're both dumb.
因为我俩就挺二的
And that's how it works. Your problem is,
这是自然定律你错就错在
you made a baby with someone much smarter than you.
和个比自己聪明的女人生了个娃
You really think Lucy was that much smarter than me?
你真心认为露西比我聪明
She was a college graduate who avoided the police for years
人家可是个大学生
while she went on a murder spree.
上刑场前还逍遥法外了那么多年
You're a high school dropout
你却连高中都没念完
who's been arrested five times for peeing in public.
还老因为随地大小便被逮捕
So, yeah, I'd say she's much smarter than you.
所以不得不承认她比你聪明
Look, Jimmy, it's like the birds and the bees.
听着吉米用鸟类和蜜蜂打个比方
Two birds have a baby, they have a bird.
两只鸟生出来的肯定是鸟
Two bees have a baby, they have a bee.
两只蜜蜂生出来的也只能是蜜蜂
You're like a bee that had a baby with a bird.
你作为一只蜜蜂愣是要和鸟结合
Now the bird's gone.
现在鸟儿飞走了
And now you're a bee trying to raise a bird-bee.
你只能做只独自抚养蜜鸟的小蜜蜂了
Makes sense.
懂了
So how's a bee supposed to be able to raise a bird-bee?
所以一只蜜蜂怎么教得好一只小蜜鸟
I'm not smart enough for that.
我的智力hold不住啊
And I don't know if I'm going to find another bird to marry.
也不确定这辈子还有没有机会娶到另一只鸟
She's going to have questions.
等她到了满脑子问题的年纪
She's going to think I'm stupid.
肯定会觉得我逊毙了
This doesn't solve everything.
不是啥问题都能靠它解决的
It is good, though.
但还是很好吃
What do they put in it to make it taste so sweet?
这甜甜的滋味究竟是怎么做出来的呢
Hello.
大家好
Welcome to High School Equivalency Class.
欢迎各位前来成人高中
"I don't know" Is not an answer, Mr. Chance.
不会不是理由吉斯同学
It's Drakkar Noir.
叫我黑色达卡
I hate this class.
最讨厌上课了
I want to live in a classless society.
真想生活在不用上课的社会[实为无阶级的意思]
Okay, you're mixing up two different uses
你把这个词的意思
of the word "Class."
理解错了
Man, why do you always have to correct everything when I talk?
老兄为什么我聊啥你都要挑刺呢
It's "When I speak," And it's my job.
你应该用"说"不是"聊" 因为这是我的工作
Well, correct this.
那你继续挑吧
I quit.
我不玩了
I don't need high school.
我才不上什么高中
I'm gonna be a famous artist
我会成为艺术家
like Picasso or Ed Hardy or Vincent van...
比肩毕加索艾迪·哈德还有梵
uh, van... Gogh.
梵什么来着高
I'm going! God.
哥正要走呢
Come on, Venom, we're out of here.
快点毒液我们走
Dude, did you not read the restraining order?
哥们你还没看过限制令吗
Stop talking to me, and change your clothes.
别再跟我讲话了换身衣服
You're embarrassing an entire movement.
你的每个动作都让我觉得耻辱
Cool.
好吧
I'll see you at the mall.
商场见
Please don't recognize me, please don't recognize me...
千万别认出我千万别认出我
Rebecca Asher?
里贝卡·阿什
Drakkar Noir?
黑色达卡
Present.
到
Great. And I trust you remember Venom, Queen of the Night?
很好相信你还记得暗夜女皇毒液吧
Now known as Venom, queen of the night shift
现在应该称之为汉堡店的
at the Burger Barn.
夜班女皇毒液
Don't get any ideas.
别打老娘主意
I still have the restraining order.
我手上还有限制令
Now we're gonna do a little math problem.
现在咱们来做道数学题
If Jimmy Chance dropped out of high school
假设吉米·吉斯05年高中辍学
in 2005 and comes back in 2012 to get his G.E.D. Diploma,
2012年又回来拿成教高中文凭
how many years of his life has Jimmy Chance wasted?
那么他浪费掉了人生中的多少时光
Yes, Jimmy Chance?
吉米·吉斯
Seven? Wrong.
七年吗回答错误
You won't know how many years of your life you wasted
你那可悲的人生一共有多少年
until your miserable life is over.
你就浪费了多少年
Now, going into geography.
好咱再来做道地理题
If Jimmy Chance should die in a gutter,
假设吉米·吉斯死在了地沟里
drowning in a puddle of his own sick,
是在圣地亚哥
in the city of Santiago,
被自己的呕吐物淹死的