公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S05E22

Part 2 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:51 a.m.

on what's cool for you to say to me, okay?
好吧我有一次法式了我表哥
Okay. I frenched my cousin one time.
恶心
That's gross.
我可能还爱着他
I might still be in love with him.
请离开 - 好吧拜
Please leave. - All right, bye.
Tom Haverford 我的名字是Trevor Nelsson
Tom Haverford, my name is Trevor Nelsson.
我代表的客户想给你出个价
I represent a client who would like to make you an offer.
Babyface听了我的demo吗
Babyface heard my demo?
我愿意出唱片的
I will accept a record deal.
不你深深地误解了
No, you deeply misunderstand.
我的客户对"租个型"有兴趣
My client has taken an interest in Rent-A-Swag.
他想知道你有没有想法
He'd like to know if you are looking
销♥售♥商店的可控制股权
to sell a controlling interest in the store.
哇吹牛老爹想买♥♥下"租个型"吗
Whoa, Diddy wants to buy Rent-A-Swag?
不是我说的 - 信息量很大啊
Not what I said. - This is a lot to process.
吹牛老爹会来开会吗
Will Diddy be coming to the meeting?
我没有告诉你我客户是谁的许可权
I'm not at liberty to tell you who my client is.
会违反保密协议
It would violate confidentiality.
我理解 - 不是吹牛老爹
I understand. - It's not Diddy.
知道了
Got it.
哦 - 哦你好...Ann
Oh. - Oh, hello... Ann.
哦天你想要啥 Macklin
Oh, boy. What do you want, Macklin?
我吗
Me?
只是在观察一点点他们在总部教我们的东西
Just observing. A little something they taught us down at Quantico.
嗯我想我就不继续烦你了
Well, I guess I'll get out of your hair.
等等只剩下一个问题
Wait, there is just one more question.
祝贺你 - 那是个问题吗
Congratulations. - Is that a question?
那是个指控因为我知道你的秘密了
It's an accusation, 'cause I know your secret.
你怀孕了 - 啥我没怀孕啊
You're pregnant. - What? I'm not pregnant.
你没有吗该死那是谁
You're not? Damn it. Who is?
因为我在Ron Swanson的小木屋发现了这个
'Cause I found this at Ron Swanson's cabin.
是个验孕棒
It's a pregnancy test.
哦天我们认识的人怀孕了吗
Oh, my God. Someone we know is pregnant?
我还想怀孕呢那不公平啊
I'm trying to get pregnant. That's not fair.
我是说太好了为他们开心祝贺啊之类的
I mean, great, and happy for them, and congratulations, whatever,
但哦不呸
but ooh! No! Boo!
我们得找出这是谁
We have to find out who this is.
哇我不觉得 Bert Macklin单打独斗
Whoa, I don't think so. Bert Macklin works alone.
午饭我请
I will buy lunch.
你想吃多少汉堡都行
You can have as many burgers as you want.
欢迎加入FBI
Welcome to the FBI.
Pinewood女士 Leslie的公共卫生倡议是一次巨大的成功
Ms. Pinewood, Leslie's public health initiative has been a huge success.
Pawnee已经不是美国第四大肥胖的城市了
Pawnee is no longer the fourth most obese city in America.
我们是第九
We're now ninth.
全镇累积我们减掉了等同于800只怀孕海牛的体重
Together, as a town, we lost an amount of weight equal to 800 pregnant manatees.
一家健身房♥开张了而且还持续营业
A gym opened, and it stayed in business.
而且人们在咽下一整张糖纸之后去急救的数量减少了40%
And people checking into the E.R. after ingesting a whole candy wrapper is down 40%.
那什么才是尽头呢
But where will it end?
你通过攻击Sweetums校园午餐项目想夺走孩子们的快乐
Now, you wanna rob our children of fun by attacking the Sweetums school lunch program,
真的在从宝宝手里夺糖果
literally taking candy from babies.
那些学校午餐极其的不健康
Those school lunches are incredibly unhealthy.
你们居然怎么说服了学校董事会称餐巾纸是种蔬菜
You somehow convinced the school board that napkins are a vegetable.
他们是植物做的啊
They're made from plants.
不要再限制我们的自♥由♥了
Stop restricting our freedoms.
是啊
Yeah!
我的名字是保洁部门的Dewey
My name is Dewey from Sanitation.
4个月前
自从你让我们雇佣女人剥夺了我们的自♥由♥之后
Ever since you stripped us of our freedoms by making us hire women,
我们只能把其中一间厕所改造成了女用厕所
we've had to turn one of our bathrooms into a woman's bathroom.
我们只有一间厕所了
We only have one bathroom now.
很抱歉 Dewey
I'm so sorry, Dewey.
听起来像是为琐碎如性别平等的小事付出了可怕的大代价呢
That sounds like a horrible price to pay for something as trivial as gender equality.
所以你也同意啊
So you agree.
3个月前
Bjorn Lerpiss 来自Pawnee的Lerpiss家族
Bjorn Lerpiss of the Pawnee Lerpiss family.
我家旁边的平地上应该有家大肚汉堡的
There was supposed to be a Paunch Burger in this lot next to my house.
然后你建了个公园剥夺了我的自♥由♥
And then, you stripped my freedom by putting a park there.
现在如果我想用一个三层煎饼早餐披萨开始我的一天
Now, if I wanna start my day off with a triple-decker pancake breakfast pizza,
我得走十分钟去另一家
I gotta go to the one that's 10 minutes away,
那让我每天上班迟到20分钟
and that makes me 20 minutes late to work every day.
我在家上班
I work at home.
你考虑过早饭不要吃那个吗
Have you ever considered not eating that for breakfast?
我永远不会考虑的
I'll never consider that.
很奇怪这感觉像是个人攻击
This feels strangely personal.
可能是因为他们都在站出来
Maybe it's because they're all standing up
说有多讨厌我这个人
saying how much they hate me as a person.
我在跟多少人讲话呢 Donna
How many people am I talking to, Donna?
一个还是一又1/9个
One or 1 1/9?
你在问我是不是怀孕吗
Are you asking me if I'm pregnant?
哦有意思
Oh. Interesting.
我不记得说过任何
I don't remember saying anything
关于任何人怀孕的事情
about anyone being pregnant.
你确定不是你吗
Are you sure it's not you?
我是个头上有脑子的成年女性
I'm a grown woman with a good head on her shoulders.
别担心我
Don't worry about me.
哟这个案子刚刚开始变得有趣了
Whew. This case just got interesting.
嗯不是刚
Well, not just.
一开始就挺有趣的
It was pretty interesting to begin with.
这个案子就依然很有趣
This case just remained interesting.
听着我老婆和我没有感觉比一年前更好
Listen, my wife and I do not feel that we're better off than a year ago
因为一年前这个镇还不是一个恐怖的淫窝
because a year ago, this town was not a horrifying sex den
每个人都可以把身体部位随便放哪免受惩罚
where people could put their body parts anywhere they want with impunity.
然后你当选了
And then, you were elected.
而现在这个镇就是一个恐怖的淫窝
And now, this town a horrifying sex den
每个人都可以把身体部位随便放哪免受惩罚
where people could put their body parts anywhere they want to with impunity.
是啊 - 如果你们指的是我做全面性教育的抗争
Yeah. - If you are referring to my fight to teach comprehensive sex education,
你们至少要承认一个事实
you need to at least acknowledge the fact
就是性病去年至今减少了14%
that STDs are down 14% from last year.
而Pawnee的越轨行径增加了百分之十亿 - 不是--
And deviant behavior in Pawnee is up a billion percent! - No, it's--
不是-- - 这个镇要在盗版Gucci手提包中下地狱妹子
no, it's-- - This town is going to hell in a Gucci knock-off handbag, girl.
你看你看
See? See?
他们同意对吧
They agree. Come on.
我肯定比一年前要好多了
I am definitely better off than I was a year ago,
而这都归功于Leslie Knope
and it's all thanks to Leslie Knope.
这个女人单手拯救了我的生意
This woman single-handedly saved my business.
谢谢你 Dennis 你看完美的例子
Thank you, Dennis. There you go, perfect example.
没必要问那个更多问题了
No need for further questions on that one.
哦很抱歉你的生意是什么呢先生
Oh, I'm sorry. What is your business, sir?
哦我开的是一家色情DVD租借中心
Oh, I run a pornographic DVD emporium.
嗯它曾经是一个古怪的小小的影视租赁点有很高的社区价值
Well, it used to be a quaint, little movie rental place with a lot of community value.
哦现在好太多了 - 是啊
Oh, it's much better now. - Yeah!
Leslie是最棒的 - 不不 Brandi
Leslie is the best. - No, no, Brandi.
哎哎哎哎-- - 各位大家好
Gah, gah, gah, gah-- - Hello, everyone.
我是Brandi Maxxxx... - 嗨 Brandi
I'm Brandi Maxxxx... - Hi, Brandi.
《超级魔术师》
很多电影的主演包括《超级魔术屌♥》
Star of such films as the incredible Burt Wonderbone,
《好人难寻》
《好人难睡》以及《逃离德黑兰》
A Good Guy to Lay Hard, and Argo.
我在《逃离德黑兰》里演了个小角色
I had a small part in Argo
还有色情版本的《套里的黑男》
as well as the porn version Our Goo.
我看了前90秒
I've seen the first 90 seconds.
很令人兴奋
It's thrilling.
如果不是因为Leslie Knope
If it weren't for Leslie Knope,
这个镇上的色情内容会少很多很多
there would be far, far less pornography in this town.
不发生的事情是个误会
No, what happened was there was a misunderstanding,
而我意外让政♥府♥卷入了不体面的生意
and I accidentally got the government involved in an unseemly business,
但我已经澄清了一切都很好
but I cleared that up, and everything's fine.
又不是我是某种热衷性♥爱♥的疯子之类的
It's not like I'm some kind of sex-crazed maniac or something.
Leslie 你怀孕了吗
Leslie, are you pregnant?
你是不是在森林里的一个垃圾堆中留下了这个阳性的验孕棒
Did you or did you not leave this positive pregnancy test in a dumpster in the woods?
嘿大家好
Hey, everybody.
没有 - 真的吗
No. - Really?
好吧嗯我就不打扰你了