公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S05E02

Part 4 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:50 a.m.

我很确定你能解决的
I'm sure you'll figure it out.
Ron 公共论♥坛♥的人们说他们可能要开除我
Ron, the people at the public forum said they might want to fire me.
那又怎样我也试过要开除你啊
So what? I've tried to fire you.
好吧 Ron 别来认真点
Okay, Ron, come on. Be serious.
我没开玩笑
I was not joking.
这是你的人事档案自己看吧
Here is your personnel file. See for yourself.
"杰出工作" "赞赏"
"Brilliant work." "Commendation."
"高水准"
"Above and beyond."
接着看
Keep reading.
"请求结束任用"
"Request for termination"?
你有一次试着开除我吗
You tried to fire me once?
不不不不我有四次试着开除你
No, no, no, no. I tried to fire you four times.
啥--你--我--s--四--试--次吗
What--you--me--fou-- four--fired--times?
如果你又想吐了垃圾桶在右手边
If you need to boot again, the trash can's on your right.
嘿哥们医生怎么说一切还好吗
Hey, man, what'd the doc say? Everything okay?
检测结果和血样分♥析♥出来了
The tests and blood work came back,
消息很糟糕
and the news is terrible.
他们...
They found
啥都没找到
nothing.
没找到
Nothing?
没找到看不见的杀手 - 哦我的天
Nothing. The silent killer. - Oh, my God.
Chris 那意味着一切都还好啊
Chris, that means everything's okay.
你今早为什么没来练习呢
Why weren't you at practice this morning?
是啊你应该来的
Yeah, you should have been there.
我终于达到我的最低要求了
I finally hit my minimum requirement.
最低档冠军
Minimum champion!
我有一天会死的可能吧
I'm going to die one day, probably,
而在这个愚蠢的小行星上没留下任何痕迹
without ever having left my mark on this silly, little planet.
我会作为一颗无名无意义的灰尘而死掉
I'm gonna die an anonymous, meaningless speck of dust.
哇
Wow.
听起来你真的在经历一些艰难的事情
It sounds like you're really going through some tough stuff right now.
太惨了没有为你的精神准备的医生
It's too bad there's not doctors for your mind.
行了嗯嘿
All right, well, hey,
我要再去跑几圈
I'm gonna go run some more laps.
你帮我计时吗出发
Will you time me? Go.
他说得有点道理啊 Chris
He's kind of right, Chris.
你这么抓狂
You were freaking out
是因为你在想着Andy和他的家庭而你没有
because you were thinking about Andy and his family and how you don't have one.
每次出一点点最小的问题
Every time something tiny goes wrong,
你就疯狂地胡思乱想
you spiral like crazy.
或许你应该去看个心理咨♥询♥师
Maybe you should see a therapist.
我希望我这么说没有越界
I hope I'm not out of line.
正好相反我的兄弟(法语)
Au contraire, mon frere.
你比谁都要在"界"里
You are as "in line" as a person can be.
你是个天才也是个很棒的激励大♥师♥
You are a genius and an amazing motivator.
我时间多长
What was my time?
我不知道 43吧 - 耶新纪录
I don't know. 43. - Yes! New record.
我的一生都在试着达到外部的目标
All my life, I have tried to achieve external goals.
4分钟跑1.6公里爬上珠穆朗玛峰
Run a four-minute mile, climb Mount Everest.
但在我能那么做之前
But before I can do that,
我需要爬上的珠穆朗玛峰
I need to climb the Mount Everest
是我精神上的
of my mind.
我不理解为什么你想开除我
I don't understand. Why did you try to get me fired?
你在这工作的第一年快让我疯掉了
The first year you worked here, you drove me nuts.
我会对一些你想做的事情说不
I would say no to something you wanted to do,
而你会忽略我然后越级直接做了
and you'd ignore me or go over my head and do it anyway.
你不服从领导顽固难搞
You were insubordinate, stubborn,
是我的眼中钉最差的是情绪高昂
a pain in my ass, and, worst of all, bubbly.
我是一个专注敬业的人♥民♥公仆
I was a dedicated public servant.
对那才是你最差的部分
Right. That was the worst thing you were.
重点是我最后
The point is, I ended up
收回了开除你的全部四次请求
withdrawing all four requests to have you fired,
因为最终
because, ultimately,
我宁愿和一个信念坚定的人工作
I'd rather work with a person of conviction
也不愿选择一个弱小的马屁精
than a wishy-washy kiss-ass.
嗯我信念坚定是因为我知道我相信什么
Well, I had conviction because I knew what I believed in,
但我这份新工作真的不知道了
but I know with this new job.
我-我就感觉我失去了我的支撑点
I-I just feel like I've lost my bearings.
不你没有
No, you haven't.
你可能漫游到了未知的领域
You may have wandered into unknown terrain,
但你依然是你
but you're still you.
要不这样
You know what?
你要拿出来一张我在高中的尴尬照片了吗
Are you gonna pull out some embarrassing photo of me from high school?
拿着这个指南针所有伟大的冒险家都需要一个
Take this compass. All great adventurers need one.
谢谢你 Ron
Thank you, Ron.
而且听着就这些开除的事情而言
And, listen, as far as this firing stuff goes,
我永远不会忘记而我也永远不会原谅你
I won't forget and I will never forgive you.
这才是她嘛
There she is.
这是你要的报告老板
Here's that report you wanted, boss.
挺好笑的是因为上面有30种不同的字体
It's funny because it has 30 different fonts on it,
而你只喜欢一种
and you only like one.
你喜欢吗 - 是啊是挺好笑的
Do you like it? - Yeah, it's hilarious.
好吧我很抱歉我画了那些你的画像
Okay, I'm sorry I drew those pictures of you.
我只是在胡闹而已嘛
I was just messing around.
听着你可能对此不会太认真
Look, you may not take this seriously,
但这份工作对我很重要
but this job is important to me.
顺便说你应该更认真一点
And by the way, you should take it seriously,
因为我请你来这里工作
because I asked you to come work here
是因为我觉得你会很享受
because I thought you'd enjoy it
而我也觉得你很聪明
and I think you're smart,
但你必须得做出一点点专业的样子出来
but you have to have some semblance of professionalism,
而我需要你付出大概甚至只要15%的努力
and I need you to give, like, even a 15% effort.
12% - 15
12%. - 15.
我的神啊我只请求15%的努力了
For God's sake, I'm asking for 15% effort.
这不应该是能讨价还价的场合
It's not supposed to be a negotiation.
好吧对不起 15
Fine. I'm sorry. 15.
Knope市议员你如何投票
City councilwoman Knope, how do you vote?
赞成强烈支持
Aye. Strongly in favor.
汽水税措施通过 3比2
The soda tax measure passes, 3-2.
是的我对我的投票非常开心
Yes, I'm very pleased with my vote
因为我投给了我的良知
because I voted my conscience.
顺便说她说要开除人完全是虚张声势你且看着吧
And by the way, she's totally bluffing about laying people off, you watch.
无论如何我今天可能树了几个敌人
Anyway, I may have made some enemies today,
但那是工作的一部分
but that is part of the job.
谁知道呢可能在未来
And who knows, maybe in the future,
我的敌人们会变成朋友呢
my enemies will become my friends.
更奇怪的事情都发生过了
Stranger things have happened.
外面给我小点声
Let's keep it down out there.
是啊我爱小蛋糕
Yeah, I love cupcakes.
Ellis讨厌你而且他有疱疹
Ellis hates you, and he has herpes.
嘿你什么毛病啊 - 我的毛病是你臭llis
Hey, what's your problem? - My problem is you, Smellis.
Ben跟你说过完成那个网站
Ben told you to finish the website,
如果你不做我对天发誓
and if you don't do it, I swear to God,
我会在你睡梦中谋杀你
I'm gonna murder you in your sleep.
我知道你住哪儿 14街对吧
I know where you live. 14th street, right?
我要拿个西瓜挖球勺
I'm gonna get a melon baller
舀出你的眼睛然后吃掉
and scoop your eyes out and eat them,
然后你的国会议员叔叔只能给你买♥♥条狗
and your congressman uncle is gonna have to buy you a dog
把你没眼睛的脸拖着跑
to drag your eyeless face around.
你懂我意思吗
Do you understand me?
是的
Yes.
赶紧的
Do it.