公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S05E19
Part 1
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:51 a.m.
Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted!
Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted!
Pawnee宪♥章♥第二章第二条规定
Article Two, Section Two of the Pawnee Charter reads,
"颁布法令 若茶叶税升至无法接受的水平
"Be it decreed: Should the taxation of tea rise to an unacceptable level,
茶叶
倒
市民应将Ted扔进Ramsett湖
citizens shall dump Ted into Ramsett Lake."
有人反对吗
Does anyone object?
和往常一样 我反对
As always, I object.
非也 迟疑够了
Nay, enough dithering!
扔掉那个异端 呸
Dump the miscreant! Boo!
今天是Ted聚会日 我们纪念1817年的Pawnee茶叶大倾倒
Today is Ted Party Day, where we commemorate the great Pawnee tea dump of 1817.
有趣的历史事实--
Historical fun fact--
当开镇元老们写宪♥章♥的时候
when the Founding Fathers wrote the charter,
他们的老式字体把一个"a"写得像"d"
their old-timey script made one of the "a"s look like a "d,"
所以"茶叶"变成了"Ted"
so "tea" became "Ted."
这就是提醒我们Pawnee丰富活力过去的有趣小事之一
It's just one of those little things that reminds us of Pawnee's rich and vibrant past.
此外 我们还能找到一个叫Ted的家伙扔进湖里
Plus, we get to go find a guy named Ted and throw him in a lake.
一
One!
我甚至都不用Ted
I don't even go by Ted!
二 - 我用的是Theodore
Two! - I go by Theodore!
三 - 啊
Three! - Aah!
公园
与
游憩
公园
与
游憩
第5季 第19集
第5季 第19集
嘿 Ted 今天干得漂亮啊
Hey, Ted. Great job today.
你也太好笑了
You were so funny
当时还说 "我的手♥机♥ 我还放在兜里呢"
when you were like, "My cell phone, I left it in my pocket."
然后你看过了 记得吗 用不了了
Then you checked it, remember, and it didn't work.
是啊 挺好笑的
Yeah, that was hilarious.
听着 我来这就是要说我受够Ted聚会日了
Listen, I am just here to say that I am done with Ted Party Day.
哈 经典Ted - 我认真的
Ha! Classic Ted. - I'm serious.
我再不会被扔进那个湖里了
I'm not getting dumped in that lake anymore.
而且我和镇上其他的Ted都聊过了 他们也都不会做了
And I talked to the other Teds in town, and they're not doing it either.
别嘛 Ted聚会日是受镇宪♥章♥第二章保护的啊
Come on, Ted Party Day is protected by Article Two in the town charter.
而且我们有权利 非也 有义务
And we have the right, nay, the obligation,
每年将Ted倒进湖里
to dump Ted into the lake every year.
一直以来都是这样的啊
That's the way it's always been done.
好吧 首先 "一直以来都是这样"
Okay, first of all, "That's the way it's always been done"
不是一个一直做什么事的好理由
is not a good reason to keep doing something.
第二 那是印刷错误啊 他们的意思明显是"茶叶"
Second, it was a misprint. They clearly meant "tea."
我就觉得你需要小心揣测开镇元老们
I just think you need to be careful about speculating what the Founders meant
在撰写镇宪♥章♥时的想法
when they were writing the town charter.
好吧 行
Okay, fine.
你想实行我们书上的每一条古老法规吗
You want to enforce every single old law we have on our books?
嘿 我能看看你的车钥匙吗
Hey, can I see your keys for a second?
这是$.25
Here's a quarter.
你的车现在是我的了
I own your car now.
啥-- - 不好意思
Wha-- - Sorry.
Pawnee宪♥章♥明确表示任何白人公民
The Pawnee Charter clearly states that any white citizen
印第安人
有权以$0.25的价格没收任何印度人的财产
has the right to seize any Indian property for 25 cents.
那是条过时和种族歧视的法律
That is an outdated and racist law.
而且很明显意思是"印第安人"
And obviously they meant "American Indian."
哇 我觉得我们要小心地
Whoa, I think we should be careful
揣摩元老们写宪♥章♥时的意图啊
when we speculate what the Founders intended when they wrote the charter.
好了 Ted 我明白你在干嘛了
Okay, Ted. I know what you're doing.
你在用我的话来反驳我
You're quoting me back to me.
但我还是要再用回我的话来说
But I'm gonna quote me back to you and say
Ted聚会日永远不会变的
that Ted Party Day will never change.
啊哦
Uh-oh.
你 一个女人 刚刚提高了音量对一个拥有土地的男性说话
You, a woman, just raised your voice to a landowning male.
根据一条1868年通过的Pawnee法规
According to a Pawnee statute passed in 1868,
我可以这么做
I get to do this.
我没意识到有那条法规
I was not aware of that statute.
Ron 你得帮助我
Ron, you have to help me.
Chris在逼我上一个愚蠢的管理培训领导课程
Chris is making me do some stupid management training leadership course.
4分钟前
现在动物管理部门由你运转了
Now that you run the Animal Control Department,
你已有资格参加Chris Traeger管理训练研讨会
you have qualified for the Chris Traeger Management Training Seminar
或者叫"CTMTS"
or "Ka-tumts."
不是个很好的缩写词 但是个很好的研讨会
It's not a great acronym, but it is a great seminar.
你能解救我吗
Can you get me out of it?
当然
Yes.
通常 如果有选择做什么和什么也不做
Normally, if given a choice between doing something and nothing,
我会选择不做
I'd choose to do nothing.
但如果能帮助其他人什么也不做 我愿意做点什么
But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing.
我能做一整晚
I'd work all night
如果这意味着什么也做不成
if it meant nothing got done.
Ron Swanson和April Ludgate
Ron Swanson and April Ludgate,
真的 是编目宇宙里我最喜欢的两个人
literally my two favorite people in the catalogued universe.
April不会参加你无意义的课程
April will not be participating in your pointless course
因为她有更重要的事情要做
because she has more important things to do
比如不参加你无意义的课程
like not participating in your pointless course.
我只是想让April成为和你一样伟大的部门领导
I just want April to become as great a department head as yourself.
所以这才没有意义
Which is why this is pointless.
我当公园部领导12年了
I've been head of the Parks department for 12 years,
我从没参加过什么"管理培训"课程
and I never had any "management training" course.
Ron 你从没被"CTMTS"过吗
Ron, you've never been "ka-tumtsed?"
法律上说我必须CTMTS每一位部门领导
I am legally required to ka-tumts every department head.
否则 我们就会出现各种不利因素
Otherwise, we are open to all kinds of liability.
你在说什么啊
What are you saying?
我在说明天的研讨会上
I'm saying that tomorrow during the seminar,
April要有个同学了
April is going to have a classmate.
剧透预警--
And spoiler alert--
是Alf - 是你
it's Alf. - It's you.
这进展也太差了
This went poorly.
啥 别啊 该死
What, no. Damn it!
你在给啥竞标呢
What are you bidding on?
最好不要是Terrence Howard在《川流熙攘》里的背心啊
It better not be Terrence Howard's tank top from Hustle & Flow.
不是的 - 很好
It is not. - Good.
因为我在竞标 我准备好花的金额
'Cause I am bidding on it and I am ready to spend an amount
已经被我的会计说是"危险而不负责"
that my accountant calls "Dangerous and irresponsible."
JJ餐厅把一个旧的华夫饼模具放上拍卖♥♥了
JJ's diner put an old waffle iron up for auction.
是我能给Leslie送的完美早餐日礼物
It's the perfect breakfast day gift for Leslie.
啥"早餐日"
"Breakfast day"?
Leslie对所有事情都有纪念日
Leslie has anniversaries for everything.
"动物园日" 我们第一次一起去动物园的日子
"Zoo day," first time we went to the zoo together.
"双重约会日"
"Double date day,"
第一次我们去双重约会
it was the first time we went on a double date.
"Daniel Day-Lewis日"
"Daniel Day-Lewis day.
"模仿海盗说话日"
"Talk-like-a-pirate day.
"模仿匹兹堡海盗说话日"
Talk-like-a-Pittsburgh-pirate day,"
就为啥 怎么搞啊
which why and how?
这个日历是去年的日历日礼物
This calendar was last year's calendar day present
纪念第一次她给我买♥♥日历的日子
celebrating the first time she ever bought me a calendar.
你得给这里的每一个都买♥♥礼物吗
You have to buy a present for every one of these?
她总是跟我说不要买♥♥ 然后她买♥♥的东西
She always tells me not to, but then she buys me something
就会又绝妙又体贴 然后我就觉得很糟糕
that's awesome and thoughtful, and then I feel terrible.
但问题就在这 这是个完美的礼物
But that's the thing. This is the perfect present.
我就是一直被抬价 被一个叫做
I just keep getting outbid by someone named
"高的Ty-ri-on Lannister"
"Tall Tie-ree-on Lannister."
Ty-ri-on是个什么鬼名字啊
What kind of name is Tie-ree-on anyway?
《权力的游戏》角色
你开玩笑的吧 Tyrion Lannister
You're kidding, right? Tyrion Lannister?
凯岩城的领主 "小恶魔"
Lord of Casterly Rock? The Half-Man?
你不看《权力的游戏》是吧
You don't watch Game of Thrones?
不啊 你看啊 - 当然啊
No. You do? - Hell yeah.
你看到那些多斯拉克男的了吗
Have you seen those Dothraki dudes?
他们能搞定
They can get it.
那个剧里的所有人都能搞定
Everybody on that show can get it.
我想我知道和我抬价的是谁了
I think I know who I'm bidding against.
我现在意识到我错了
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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