公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S05E12

Part 4 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:50 a.m.

而觉得你不会遇到谁了
and you think you're not gonna meet someone,
但两年前我也不觉得我会遇到像Ben一样的但我遇到了
but two years ago, I didn't think I would meet someone like Ben, and I did.
我对完美家庭的构想不要求一个理想伴侣
My idea of a perfect family does not require a soul mate.
我想生个孩子就这样接受吧
I want a baby, that's it, accept it.
Milton议员我们有会吗
Councilman Milton, do we have a meeting?
哦不不不
Oh, no, no, no.
我只是想来报个名
I just wanted to toss my name into the ring,
在这个印度女人阴♥道♥的方面
in respect to this Indian woman's vagina.
嘿论♥坛♥情况如何
Hey, how was the forum?
呃很屎
Um, crappy.
我们只拿到了四个签名
We only got four signatures.
其中两个是我和Andy
Two of them were me and Andy,
有一个说的是"屁麦酷"
and one of them said "Farts McCool."
我就是不知道Leslie怎么能一直那么Leslie
I just don't know how Leslie can be Leslie all the time.
我做了她两个小时然后我就想死了
I was her for two hours and I want to die.
嗯你猜怎么着我们今天还有个论♥坛♥
Well, you know what? We've got another forum today.
我们还是跳回马鞍上吧
Let's just hop back in that saddle.
我该怎么做我该戴一顶金色假发吗
What should I do? Should I wear a blonde wig?
哦我的天是的那样会超性感的 - Andy
Oh, my God, yes. That would be so hot. - Andy.
如果你觉--如果你-- 你觉得能帮上忙吗
If you think--if you-- do you think it would help?
我是说如果你觉得能帮上忙
I mean, if you think it'd help you.
嗯我感觉已经好太多了
Well, I'm feeling so much better.
昨晚几乎没有奇怪东西从我身体里溜出来
Almost no weird stuff snuck out of my body last night.
而我感觉我胃部的空洞
And I feel like the emptiness of my stomach
可以引领我开启一场挺宏大的早餐了
is gonna lead to a pretty epic breakfast.
伙计们我要怎么办
Guys, what do I do?
我的选择几乎要了我们的命
My choice almost killed us,
而我们又不能都同意另一个所以--
and we can't agree on another one, so--
或许在Snerling有家餐饮公♥司♥供我们调查一下
Maybe there's a catering company in Snerling that we should look into.
不只能是来自Pawnee的
No, it has to be from Pawnee.
我就知道那肯定是Leslie想要的
I just know that's what Leslie wants.
我知道了
I got it.
这听起来像是胡说
This might sound crazy,
但Jean-Ralphio开始了自己的一家餐饮公♥司♥
but Jean-Ralphio has started a catering company.
他真的啊
He has?
确实他现在正在因伪造欧元受审中
Now, granted, he is currently standing trial for counterfeiting Euros,
但审判很快就会结束了
but the trial's gonna be over quick.
他肯定有罪
He's definitely guilty.
呃算了吧
Ugh, forget it.
给Chris的干吐司和半个葡萄柚
Dry toast and half a grapefruit for Chris.
谢谢
Thank you.
给Ben的蛋白 - 谢谢
Egg whites for Ben. - Thank you.
给Tom的蛋白
Egg whites for Tom,
还有给Ron的基本上我们家所有的东西
and pretty much everything we make for Ron.
你别溜走了
And don't you go sneaking off.
我给Leslie送点免费华夫饼打包带回家
I'm sending home some free waffles for Leslie.
谢了 JJ 你是最棒的
Thanks, JJ. You're the best.
好的我们回来了
Okay, we're back.
我们呃有个关于"宝贝混♥蛋♥...行动"的新进展
We, uh, got an update on "Operation... Baby Douche."
好的特别来宾是女议员Leslie Knope
All right, special guest is Councilwoman Leslie Knope.
你怎么样啊 Les - "我好饥渴啊"
How are you, Les? - "Me so horny."
那不是我说的
That was not me.
那是个滑稽的音效
That was a farcical sound effect.
她刚刚说了"冷屁"吗
Did she say "fartsicle"?
冷屁冷冻的可以吃的屁
The fartsicle. Frozen farts you can eat.
塞到你的脸嘴里去吧
Put it in your face-mouth!
好凉好难闻啊
It's cold and it smells.
天啊你是怎么这么快做好那个的
God, how did you make that so fast?
无论如何听着我来这里
Anyway, look, I am here
是因为我想让你们别再讨论我朋友的子♥宫♥了
because I want you to stop talking about my friend's womb.
抱歉了女议员我进了就是要赢的
Sorry, Councilwoman. I'm in it to win it.
"混♥蛋♥"要做爹地了
The Douche is gonna be a daddy.
而疯狂Ira会变成那个怪叔叔了
And Crazy Ira's gonna be the creepy uncle.
好吧行了
Okay, all right.
听着她可是个很棒的人而她不该遭受这一切
Look, she is a wonderful person, and she does not deserve this.
所以我需要你们停手
So I need you to lay off.
好吧我会停手
Okay, I will lay off
只要你和大胸Bertha存活一局战场就是
if you can survive one round with Breasty Bertha in...
果冻坑
The Jell-o Pit!
Rudy 到果冻里来
Rudy! Get in the Jell-o.
好吧我可是个女市议员
Okay, I am a city councilwoman,
我不会玩果冻摔跤的
so I am not gonna Jell-o wrestle.
我觉得这很好玩啊
I mean, this is fun.
你不想让你的选民们知道你有好玩的一面吗
Don't you want your constituents to know that you got a fun side?
是啊展示你好玩的一面啊
Yeah, show your fun sides.
这和我以及我的选民们都无关啊
This is not about me and my constituents!
这是关于你们谈论我朋友的事情
This is about you talking about my friend.
好吧我不谈论你的朋友了
All right, I will stop talking about your friend
只要你进那个果冻站一秒钟然后说"Rudy"
if you get in that Jell-o for one second and say, "Rudy."
因为是《考斯比一家》里的 - 经典
'Cause The Cosby Show. - Classic.
经典
Classic.
好吧我会在里面站一秒钟然后说一次然后我们就结束了
Fine, I will stand there for one second and say it, and then we're done.
很公平 - 很公平
Fair's fair. - Fair's fair.
谁给我来个布丁冰棍
Somebody get me a pudding pop.
哦
Oh!
耶
Yeah!
Rudy
Rudy.
就这开心了吗
There, happy?
《考斯比一家》角色
不啊像Bill Cosby那样说啊
No, say it like Bill Cosby.
Rudy
Rudy.
我不知道了 - 耶
I don't know. - Yeah!
哦她开始摸♥奶♥子了
Oh, she's touching her boobs now.
不我没有我只是站在这
No, I'm not. I'm just standing here.
而我不该再呆这儿了就像你们也不该再骚扰Ann了
And I am leaving, just like you're gonna leave Ann alone.
哦她进去了
Oh, she's in there!
她开始喜欢了
She's into it now!
哦 Rudy掉进果冻里了
Oh, Rudy has fallen into the Jell-o.
Theo 我最喜欢的毛衣上现在全是果冻了
Theo, now there's Jell-o all over my favorite sweater.
而金牌得主是Leslie Knope
And the gold medal goes to Leslie Knope!
好能把那个包给我吗
Okay, can you give me that bag?
我得换上我的Leslie套装
I have to go change into my Leslie suit.
没问题宝
You got it, babe.
谢了
Thanks.
Andy - 咋 - 不是这个包
Andy! - What? - This is the wrong bag.
哈
What?
这个包装的都是果味大大卷和棒球卡
This bag is full of Fruit Roll-Ups and baseball cards.
我没有我的Leslie全套西服
I don't have my Leslie pantsuit
或者我的Leslie头带或者我的Leslie笔记
or my Leslie headband or my Leslie notes.
这个会没有我的Leslie东西我开不成啊
I can't do this meeting without my Leslie stuff.
亲爱的我太抱歉了 - Andy
Honey, I am so sorry. - Andy!
我想我应该是搞砸了
I guess I must have screwed up.
你看你穿这一套看起来也很棒啊
Look, you look amazing in this outfit.
而且你是这个星球上最聪明的人
Plus you're the smartest person on the planet.
我觉得你只要做自己就能做到这事儿了
I think you can do this just being yourself.
是哦所以这整个Pawnee公园项目要花掉我多少钱
Yeah, so how much money is this whole Pawnee Commons project gonna cost me?
哦好问题
Uh, good question.
40%会来自我们的公♥司♥伙伴
40% will be coming from our corporate partners,
还有30%-- - 抱歉女士我不是来上数学课的
and another 30%-- - Excuse me, ma'am. I didn't ask for a math lesson.
所以要不你就直接告诉我要花我多少钱呢
So why don't you just tell me how much it's gonna cost me?
而且别用数字
And don't use numbers.
听着你不用多花一分钱好吧
Look, you won't have to pay any extra money, okay?
而且别再叫我"女士"了
And don't ever call me "ma'am" again.
谢了下一个问题
Thanks. Next question.
我想再聊聊那个半裸公园
Yeah, I wanted to talk more about that topless park idea
就是昨天一个本地英雄提出的主意
that a local hero brought up yesterday.
不会有半裸公园的 Harris
Yeah, there's not gonna be a topless park, Harris.
没人在公园享受的时候想让你的怪异瘾君子眼睛盯着他们好吧
Nobody wants your creepy stoner eyes staring at them while they're enjoying a park, okay?
别犯恶心了
Stop being gross.
是啊
Yeah.
让我闭嘴了