公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S05E15
Part 3
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:50 a.m.
就是我的选择
That's my pick.
他们为三K党提供法律援助
They provide legal assistance to the KKK.
这就是你的选择吗
This is your pick?
是啊 能把棒棒糖给我吗
Yeah. Can you pass the bonbons?
Perd Hapley今天在这儿
Perd Hapley is here today.
或者 用Perd的话说
Or, as Perd would say,
"我的名字是Perd Hapley
"My name is Perd Hapley,
而今天我在这里看到的人...是我"
and the person I see here today... is me."
所有人现在看起来都在笑了
Everyone seems to be laughing now.
你看到Chris和Shauna之间发生什么了吗
Do you see what is happening with Chris and Shauna?
他们调情到快要着火了
They are flirting like crazy.
太恶心了 他们在公共场合啊
It's disgusting. They're in public.
那叫做谈话
That's called a conversation.
Ron 没有榕树 好嘛
Ron, there are no ficuses, okay?
我想让Chris做我孩子的父亲
I wanted to ask Chris to be the father of my baby.
我的神啊
Good God.
而你选择的比喻是在你的前院种榕树吗
And the metaphor you chose was planting ficuses in your front yard?
我本要等到他单身再问的
I was gonna wait till he was single to ask him,
但他现在又和Shauna调情了
but now he's flirting with Shauna again.
我要怎么做
What do I do?
和你交谈很愉快 - 啥
It's been nice talking to you. - What?
或许我该玩模仿秀
Maybe I should just do impressions.
"我是波拉特" 有一个了
"I'm-a Borat." There's one.
但我需要模仿没人听说过的
But I need to do someone that no one has heard before.
比如 我不知道 Neve Campbell吗
Like, I don't know, Neve Campbell?
Neve Campbell的声音是什么样的
What does Neve Campbell sound like?
我不知道
I don't know.
谁他妈的告诉我Neve Campbell的声音是什么样的
Someone fucking tell me what Neve Campbell sounds like.
就随便说两句然后赶紧下台吧
Just keep it short and get the hell out of there.
谢谢
Thank you.
我们的下一位嘉宾请我读这一段
Our next guest has asked me to read this.
哦不 哦不 我忘了我做了这事儿了
Oh, no. Oh, no, I forgot I did this.
Joan 别--
Joan, no--
"绑上你们的成人纸尿裤吧 各位
"Strap on your adult diapers, everyone.
"因为你们马上就要笑尿了"
"Because you're about to wet yourself from laughter."
掌声有请Leslie Knope
Give it up for Leslie Knope.
咋滴啦 Pawnee
"Whassup," Pawnee?
呃...
Um...
波拉特
Borat.
嗯 我的时间到了 他们给我亮灯了
Well, that's my time. They're giving me the light.
所以 呃 我做得很棒
So, uh, I did great.
谢谢 Leslie Knope
Thank you, Leslie Knope.
你知道他们怎么说的 戏剧很难
You know what they say. Drama is hard,
有时候喜剧就不是我们擅长的
and sometimes comedy is not in our wheelhouse.
Tom 你必须现在开那个吗
Tom, do you have to run that right now?
哦 不 Ben
Oh, no, Ben!
这些奶昔可不会自己做的啊
These smoothies will just blend themselves!
好吧
Okay.
觉得我们有赢家了
Think I have our winner.
叫做乡村救护
It's called Rural Ambu-care.
他们想买♥♥辆救护车
They want to buy an ambulance
给住处离医院很远的人们
for people who live far away from the hospital.
救护车很蠢
Ambulances are dumb.
救护车什么时候帮过任何人的
When has an ambulance ever helped anyone?
那Andy那个音乐的东西呢
What about Andy's music thing?
嗯 这是个很好的服务 能帮上很多需要的人
Well, this is a great service that will help a lot of needy people.
对不起 Andy
Sorry, Andy.
为啥 不 完全没事的
Why? No, it's totally fine.
我为他们开心 那很棒
I'm happy for them. That's awesome.
你知道我要干嘛吗
You know what I'm gonna do?
我要出去去 呃 车里了
I'm gonna head out to, uh, the car.
这里有点热 有点出汗
It's a little hot in here, a little sweaty.
嗯 我非常的失望
Well, I'm terribly disappointed.
但我肯定你决定帮助的医生还是长颈鹿还是随便什么
But I'm sure the doctors or giraffes or whatever you decided to help
会对随便你决定做的随便什么很激动的
will be thrilled with the whatever you decided to whatever.
我走了
I'm outtie.
干得漂亮 团队
Great job, team.
咋了
What?
自从Andy的警校考试失败之后
Ever since Andy failed the police exam,
他真的很抑郁
he's been really depressed.
找到一个蠢慈善是他几周来最激动的时候了
Picking out a dumb charity is the most excited he's been in weeks.
你太自私了
You're so selfish.
自私吗 我在运营一个慈善机构啊
Selfish? I'm running a charity.
哦 都是关于你做的事情 不是吗
Oh, it's all about what you're doing, isn't it?
典型的Ben
Classic Ben!
抱歉 生蚝忘了
Sorry, forgot the oysters.
干得不错
Great work today.
Christopher
Christopher.
"Chris-偷-粉儿"
"Chris-toe-fur."
就像你在偷粉吃一样
It's like you have furry toes.
太好笑了
Hilarious.
我有个问题...
I have a question...
问你
for you.
是非常重要的事情
It's something very important.
就是...
Which is...
你的...灵兽是什么
What is your... Spirit animal?
美洲豹 为什么问这个
Jaguar. Why do you ask?
做个调查
Doin' a survey.
嗯 调查完成了
Well, survey completed.
所以放轻松了
So take 'er easy.
呃 你没问我啊 但如果你问了
Uh, you didn't ask me. But if you had,
我会给出的答案是...狗狗
the answer I would have given is... Doggie.
Chris Ann现在想问你一件事
Chris, Ann wants to ask you something right now.
来 Ann
Go, Ann.
在Perd面前吗 - 是的
In front of Perd? - Yes.
别再拖了 来
No more delays. Go.
我想生个宝宝 你愿意捐精吗
I want to have a baby. Will you be the sperm donor?
这个情况的故事是
The story of this situation is
它极度的私人
it's extremely personal.
考虑一下 拜
Think it over. Bye.
Leslie 请求允许离开角落
Leslie, permission to leave the corner.
否决
Denied.
但是 你看 我最后没弄丢你的演讲稿
But, look, I did not lose your speech after all.
我忘记了
I forgot.
我为保安全放在鞋子里了
I put it in my shoe for safekeeping.
有点潮 但还在
It's a little moist, but it is still here.
嗯 那Kim是怎么拿到演讲稿的
Well, then how did Kim get the speech?
等等
Wait a minute.
Pawnee太阳报连续几个月领先我一步了
The Pawnee Sun has been one step ahead of me for months.
他们知道Kernston撤回了对Pawnee公园的赞助
They knew that Kernston's withdrew its sponsorship of the Commons
甚至在我宣布之前
before I even announced it.
他们问我关于Ramsett公园污水喷发的事情
They asked me about the sewage eruption in Ramsett Park
就在Ron给我发邮件之后
right after Ron emailed me about it.
而Kim问我是不是喜欢第一季的《军嫂们》
And Kim asked me if I liked the first season Army Wives
就在Netflix之后不一会儿
just moments after Netflix did.
Pawnee太阳报黑了我的邮箱
The Pawnee Sun hacked my email.
我被黑了
I've been hacked!
好吧 砸烂你的手♥机♥也不能阻止被黑
Okay, smashing your phone won't stop hacking.
而且是我的手♥机♥
That's also my phone.
Jerry 闭嘴 这是正事
Jerry, quiet! This is serious.
嗯 警♥察♥说他们要对我有没有被黑开展调查
Well, the police said they're gonna launch an investigation to see whether or not I was hacked.
但这很复杂 可能要花一个月
But it's very complicated, and it could take up to a month.
没什么比侵犯隐私更令人厌恶了
There is nothing more disgusting than an invasion of privacy.
而我是知道的
And I should know.
我被很多女性偷过贴身内衣
I've had many women steal my undershirts.
我两小时后要开关于Pawnee公园的记者会
I have a press conference about the Pawnee Commons in two hours.
所以我需要过一遍我发过的每一封邮件 所有
So I need to go through every email that I've ever sent, ever.
我需要知道他们能用来针对我的把柄
I need to know what they might use against me.
你可黑不进一台打字机
You can't hack into a typewriter.
我想说的就这些
That's all I have to say.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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