公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S05E18

Part 1 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:50 a.m.

欢迎来到动物管理部让我带你们转转
Welcome to Animal Control. Let me show you around.
那些是椅子那是只猫或者负鼠
Those are some chairs. That's a cat or a possum.
哦这是张餐巾上面我写了
Oh, this is a napkin where I wrote down
给狗起的一个酷名字 "狗叫奥巴马"
a cool name for a dog. "Bark Obama."
对吧
Right?
那是--这里发生了什么
Is that-- what's happening here?
哦哟是我们在外面找到这只鸟
Oh. Yo. Yeah. We found this bird outside.
我们试着把它变成一个工作警笛
We tried to turn it into a work whistle,
像《摩登原始人》的片头里一样
like in the beginning of The Flintstones.
比看起来难虽然
Tougher than it looked, though.
我们镇上有大规模的害虫问题
We have a massive pest problem in this town,
因为动物管理部是个祸害...
and it's because the Animal Control Department has been disaster...
在抓动物上
at catching animals.
他们倒是很擅长摄入和销♥售♥大♥麻♥
They're great at ingesting and selling marijuana.
这个地方是由两个毒虫废物管理的悲惨无底洞
This place is a miserable suck hole run by two pot-head losers.
这里的管理完全是失当的
It's completely and utterly mismanaged.
谢谢
Thanks!
看起来确实非常缺乏管理
It does seem to be very poorly run,
但我们到这里也才两分钟
but we've only been here for two minutes.
他们的疯狂也许会有条理的
There may be a method to their madness.
给猫剥皮的方式都不止一种呢
There's more than one way to skin a cat.
四种给猫剥皮的方式有四种
Four. There's four ways to skin a cat.
嗷啊这是啥啊 - 常规刀片--
Ow! Ah! What is this? - Regular blade--
土狼陷阱哥们 - 啊这也太疼了
Coyote trap, dude. - Ah! This hurts!
是啊我们有就严重的动物灾害问题
Yeah, we got, like, a huge vermin problem.
我是说我们本来打算给谁打电♥话♥投诉这事儿的
I mean, we've been meaning to call somebody about it,
但你知道没人接电♥话♥啊
but you know, nobody get on the phone.
你们就是你们打电♥话♥要找的人
You're the people you would be calling.
这也太迷糊了
That is so trippy.
嗷你被开除了你被开除了
Ow! You're fired! You're fired!
整个部门都被开除了
The whole department is fired.
嗷这好疼这可是我跑步用的脚啊
Ow, this hurts! This was one of my running feet!
哟我们去牙买♥♥加吧 - 不我们该去牙买♥♥加
Yo, let's go to Jamaica. - No, we should go to Jamaica.
哦你说的也是那个吧
Oh, is that what you said?
耶兄弟
Yeah, dog.
公园
与
游憩
公园
与
游憩
第5季第18集
第5季第18集
Ron 你在这里流了一天的汗了
Ron, you've been sweating in here all day.
你喝了任何液体了吗
Are you drinking any fluids?
是的够多了
Yes, plenty.
不你需要喝水
No, you need to drink water.
通常我都是喝纯的
Usually, I take it neat,
但我以健康的名义就破个例吧
but I will make an exception in the name of health.
昨晚我和Diane以及姑娘们一起看了场电影
Last night, I watched a movie with Diane and the girls
指《海底总动员》
其中一条橙色的鱼和他的父亲分开了
in which an orange fish is separated from his father.
孩子们在吸鼻涕
The children were sniffling,
我本以为是由于电影的悲伤状态
which I believed to be due to the sad nature of the film.
我错了
I was wrong.
你需要把这么多层都脱掉
You need to take off those layers,
补水然后去看医生
rehydrate, and go to the doctor.
谢谢你的关心我会没事的
Thank you for your concern, I will be fine.
请把恒温器调到32度然后别管我了
Please turn the thermostat up to 90 and leave me alone.
Ron 这不安全
Ron, this isn't safe.
我是个成年人了
I am a grown man.
我以前得过感冒我不需要帮助
I have had a cold before, I need no help,
所以如果你不介意--
so if you don't mind--
差不多该这样了
That seems about right.
好了突击测验香味名字
Okay, pop quiz. Name the scent.
呃 "痉挛" 不对 "恐颜巨♥乳♥"
Uh, "Spasm." No, "Butter Face"!
非常好 - 好
Very good! - Yes!
我在试着让更多大公♥司♥给Sweetums基金会捐赠
I'm trying to get more big companies to donate to the Sweetums Foundation,
而Tom给我们联♥系♥上了Dennis Feinstein
and Tom got us a meeting with Dennis Feinstein,
Pawnee首要的香水和古龙水生产商
Pawnee's premier manufacturer of perfumes and cologne.
哦
Oh!
或者可能是杀虫剂
Or possibly, insecticide.
Dennis Feinstein属于新一代的富豪--
Dennis Feinstein belongs to a new generation of wealth--
说唱歌♥手技术天才极限运动奖牌得主
rappers, tech geniuses, X Games medallists,
当然还有 "香味艺术家"
and of course, "scent artists."
这个男人有一辆劳力萨斯
The man owns a Rolexus.
是一辆装满劳力士手表的雷克萨斯车
It's a Lexus filled with Rolexes.
为啥要那么做啊
What's the point of that?
拥有啊他就有啊
To have it, which he does.
好吧我来展开讨论捐赠的益处
Okay, I'll lay out the benefits of donating.
Tom 以他的独家技术来奉承和闲聊
Tom will flatter and schmooze as only Tom can.
Andy 你知道这对你来说就是个学习经历
Andy, you know, this is just a learning experience for you,
所以看着听着就行
so you just watch and listen.
我动用了一大堆人脉才搞定这次会面
I had to pull a lot of strings to get this meeting,
所以拜托都别给我丢脸
so please, no one embarrass me.
Ben 穿点体面的衣服比如燕尾服
Ben, put on something decent, like a tux.
Andy 你没救了就洗个澡吧
Andy, you're hopeless, just take a shower.
我已经洗了个我叫做"Dwyer澡"的澡
I already took what I call a "Dwyer shower."
我用空气清新剂抹了腋窝
I rubbed my armpits with air fresheners.
新车味道
New car.
动物管理长♥期♥都是这个政♥府♥最不称职的职员仓库
Animal control has long been a repository for some of this government's most incompetent employees.
Jerry Gergich就是从那里开始的
Jerry Gergich got his start there.
嗯 - 好吧嗯
Well. - All right, well.
是所以新的主任需要称职
Yeah, so our new director needs to be competent,
有作用不是完全整天嗑药的状态
effective, and not completely stoned all the time.
我已经领先一步了小妹妹我有个完美的家伙
I'm way ahead of you there, girly. I got the perfect guy.
一个朋友有点酗酒
Friend of mine, bit of an alcoholic,
有点贪婪要不是战争英雄要不就是战犯
a little grabby, either a war hero or war criminal,
取决于你问的是谁但是是个好人
depending on who you ask, but a good dude.
怎么认识他的 - 我做他的牙齿
How do you know him? - I do his teeth.
前面有几个咖啡渍但犬齿绝了
A few coffee stains up front, but his canines are insane.
哎呀 Jeremy 他听起来很完美啊他的牙龈也很棒吗
Gosh, Jeremy, he sounds perfect. Are his gums great too?
哦耶非常优秀甜菜红
Oh, yeah. They are excellent, beet red.
我是在讽刺
I was being sarcastic.
我觉得我们该将此事开放供讨论
I think we should open this to the floor for more discussion.
呃或许你能跟她解释一下拜托
Uh, maybe you would like to explain this to her, please?
传统来说 Leslie 议员们就会轮流行使部门认命权利
Traditionally, Leslie, the councilmen just kind of take turns on departmental appointments.
是啊这个是我的然后是Dexhart 然后是你
Yeah, this one is mine, then Dexhart, then you.
整个地方就是靠先到先得运转的
This whole place runs on dibs.
你开玩笑吗你们都对此没问题吗
Are you kidding me? You guys are all fine with this?
嗯 Milton睡着了但你们余下的呢
Well, Milton's asleep, but the rest of you?
这就是部门管理失当的原因
This is how departments get mismanaged.
不我们要仔细一点
No. We are going to be thorough.
我要找一个候选人而且我鼓励你们都这么做
I'm going to find a candidate, and I encourage you all to do the same,
然后我们面试他们所有人
and then, we will interview all of them.
无聊
Boring!
"无聊"是我的中间名所以...
"Boring" is my middle name, so...
我深入审查后的候选人会彻底击溃你们的
my thoroughly vetted candidate is going to blow your candidate out of the water.
哦我想我要走了很高兴见到你们会开得不错
Oh, I guess I'm leaving. Good to see you. Great meeting!
我想再次反对违背我的意愿被带来这里
I'd like to object again to being brought here against my will.
好吧我就在这再次检查一下你填的表
Okay, I'm just gonna double-check your form here.
Ron 你把所有的信息都划掉了
Ron! You redacted all the information.
我回答了其中一些
I answered some of them.
在"生日"一栏你填了"春季"
For "date of birth," you wrote "springtime."
是真实的 - 你写下的一切都是保密的
Which is true. - Everything you write down is confidential.
我们需要你给出真实的答案
We need you to give real answers.
好吧
Fine.
你每周消耗多少杯酒
How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week?
一 - 就这吗一杯
One. - That's it, one drink?
一架子
One shelf.
你运动吗 - 是的做♥爱♥和做木工
Do you exercise? - Yes. Lovemaking and woodworking.
家庭成员有精神病史吗
Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?
我有个叔叔做瑜伽
I have an uncle who does yoga.
过敏史 - 懦夫和意志薄弱的男性
Allergies? - Cowardice and weak-willed men.
还有榛子