公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S05E10
Part 2
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:50 a.m.
谁点的苏格兰威士忌 - 在这呢
Who ordered the Scotch? - Right here.
请把你的手拿出来
Hold out your hands, please.
发生什么了
What's happening?
哦 这是一种苏格兰的玩法
Oh, this is a sort of play on Scotch.
是加入了威士忌的乳液
It's a whiskey-infused lotion.
我能问下这整个机构实际上就是个玩笑吗
Can I ask if this entire establishment is a practical joke of some kind?
你要是不喜欢苏格兰的话
If you don't like the Scotch,
他们有以闪光灯形式供应的伏特加
they have a vodka that's served in the form of a flash of light.
嘿
Hey.
享受吗
Having fun?
嗯 四年的工作冲进下水道
Well, four years of work down the drain,
我头上还有个屌♥
and I have a penis on my head.
Jamm就在我们眼皮底下偷走了这块地
Jamm is stealing this lot right out from under us.
我的梦死掉了 Ann
My dream is dead, Ann.
我的也是 所以我才更喜欢噩梦
Mine too. This is why I prefer nightmares.
你现在在喝伤心酒
You are sad drinking right now,
我需要你喝开心酒
and I need you to be happy drinking.
1978年著名歌♥舞片
就像我们一起看《油脂》那一次
Like when we watch Grease together.
我知道 Ann 但一切都会消失的
I know, Ann, but everything's gonna disappear.
April的迷你狗公园 Li'l Sebastian喷泉
April's mini-dog park, the Li'l Sebastian fountain,
甚至那个Wamapoke游乐场
even the Wamapoke playground.
又一块Wamapoke土地被白人挖走了
Yet another piece of Wamapoke land plowed over by the white man.
就试着别想了
Just try to forget about it.
我是说 今晚你没有任何办法阻止他们了
I mean, there's nothing you can do to stop them tonight.
快200年的时间里
For almost 200 years,
Pawnee一次次地把工厂 餐馆 还有其他东西
Pawnee repeatedly built factories, restaurants, and other stuff
建在Wamapoke人的神圣土地上
on land held sacred by the Wamapoke people.
所以我们通过了一项法案
So we passed a law
称如果开♥发♥工地上找到任何Wamapoke文物
saying that if any sacred Wamapoke artifact is found on a development site,
所有施工必须立刻停止
all construction must immediately stop.
如果这个未来的大肚汉堡选址上出现这种事情 就太糟糕了
It would be terrible if that were to happen on this future Paunch Burger site.
哦 大事不好
Oh, this is bad.
我不该这么做的
I should not have done this.
哦 我想知道那是谁呢
Oh, I wonder who that is.
啊 这不是亚宝林肯吗 想想这个啊
Well, if it isn't Babe Lincoln! Imagine that.
女士们好啊 我是亚伯拉罕·林肯
Hello, ladies. I'm Abraham Lincoln.
那个幸运的Mary Todd是哪位呢
Who's the lucky Mary Todd?
林肯夫人
在这呢 在这呢
Right here. Right here.
啊 啊 啊 我先 我先
Ah, ah, ah, me first. Me first.
好嘞 撕起来吧
All right, tear it up, 16!
释放你的腹肌
Emancipate them abs.
别啊 Ann 现在不行
Come on, Ann, not now.
别啊 Leslie 放松一点
Come on, Leslie, just loosen up.
我可以肯定这是你做过的一个春梦
I know for a fact this is a sex dream you've had.
看起来到时候
Looks like it's time
Gettysburg Address 葛底斯堡演说 林肯的著名演讲
让葛底斯堡演脱了
for the Gettysburg undressed!
葛底斯堡演说
亚伯 我们必须停下了
Abe, we're gonna have to stop now.
对不起 我就没心情看历史人物的裸体
I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood for historical nudity.
拜托 总统先生 把裤子穿回去吧
Please, Mr. President, put your pants back on.
Ann 我能和你单独聊聊吗
Ann, can I speak with you privately?
你是叫Glenn吗 - 是啊
Is your name Glenn? - Yeah.
我中学乐队里坐你后面啊
I sat behind you in middle school band.
你现在还吹单簧管吗
Do you still play the clarinet?
是啊
Yeah.
你怎么样了啊 大哥
How have you been, man?
唉 如果我能开场单身派对
Man, if I ever have a bachelor party,
我肯定还要回到这来
I am definitely coming back here.
你和Wendy结婚之前没有搞吗
You never had one before you were married to Wendy?
不 那是段绿卡婚姻
No, it was a green card wedding.
前一晚我确实把《玩尽杀绝》里的3P场景看了几次
I did watch the three-way sex scene from Wild Things a few times the night before,
但真的不能算
but it didn't really count.
我也没开单身派对
I never had a bachelor party either.
我和April 我们没预警就直接结婚了
Me and April, we got married with no warning.
我婚礼前甚至都没来得及洗个澡
I didn't even have time to take a shower before my wedding.
之后也没
Or after.
就 差不多一周半
For, like, a week and a half.
Tammy一号♥禁止我举♥行♥任何形式的庆祝
Tammy One forbade me from any kind of celebration,
而Tammy二号♥用炸♥弹♥威胁牛排馆的方式阻止了我
and Tammy Two thwarted me by calling in a bomb threat to the steakhouse.
我也没有啊
I didn't have one either!
是啊 真的 是个很有趣的故事
Yeah, really, it's a funny story.
所以我和Gayle结婚两周前
So two weeks before I married Gayle,
我紧急接受了阑尾切除
I had an emergency appendectomy.
啵 那是我按了瞌睡按钮
Boop! That's me hitting the snooze button.
十分钟之内不要再讲话了
Don't talk again for another ten minutes.
新点子
New idea!
今晚 所有人得到他们从没开过的单身派对
Tonight, everyone gets the bachelor party they never had.
一位单身汉一个活动
One activity per bachelor.
欢迎参加Tom的单身派对
Welcome to Tom's bachelor party,
星球大战中的冰星球
在冰星球Hoth的白色飞机库里
held in a white airplane hangar from the ice planet Hoth,
挂满了高空杂技艺人
replete with dangling, beautiful aerialists.
敬Tom Haverford
To Tom Haverford.
敬Tom Haverford
To Tom Haverford!
也敬我的新娘 蕾哈娜
And to my bride, Rihanna.
Rihanna 《We Found Love》歌♥词
我们确实在绝望的地方找到了爱
We truly did find love in a hopeless place.
服务员 再来一轮闪光灯酒给我和我的朋友
Waiter, a round of light-flash shots for me and my friends!
好吧 发生什么了
Okay, so what happened?
嗯 我在土里埋了一些Wamapoke文物
Well, I buried a bunch of Wamapoke artifacts in the dirt
所以人们能找到 就会停止施工了
so that people would find them and have to stop developing at the site.
你知道 我大声说出来之后 听起来就没有那么糟了
You know, when I say it out loud, it doesn't sound so bad.
不 那很糟糕 - 是啊 那样挺不酷的
No, that's bad. - Yeah, that's pretty uncool.
闭嘴吧 Glenn - 抱歉 各位
Shut up, Glenn. - I'm sorry, guys.
Jamm议员表现卑鄙
Councilman Jamm was being sneaky,
然后我试着要卑鄙回去
and then I tried to sneaky him back,
结果手段太低劣了 我必须取消
and it turned to crummy, and I have to undo it.
我需要你们的帮助
I need your help.
你不是说-- - 我是
You don't mean-- - I do.
不 我不会那么做的
No. I'm not doing that.
你们啊 阴♥茎♥帽子能省下一般的挖掘时间
You guys, the penis hats cut your digging time in half.
我认真的 别害怕 用那些阴♥茎♥
I'm serious. Don't be afraid. Use the penises.
单身女郎派对
Bachelorette party.
呜
Whoo.
Perkins又做到了
Perkins does it again.
你们知道 我就是在Sherm's这里见到Gayle的
You know, I met Gayle right here at Sherm's.
嗯 - 她身材苗条
Mm-mm. - She was slender.
金发 大胸 长腿
Blonde hair, big breasts, long legs.
呃 完全不是我的型
Ugh, not my type at all.
那确切来说 到底是什么让你俩合得来的呢
And what was it, exactly, that led to you two hitting it off?
是她病了
Was she ill,
还是你父亲目击她父亲犯罪了呢
or did your father witness her father committing a crime?
还是她暂时失明-- - 你知道吗
Or was she temporarily blind-- - You know what?
唯一重要的是你结婚了 你很幸福
All that matters is that you got married, and you're happy.
所以作为全时段的伴郎
So as all-time best man,
我建议我们举冰淇淋敬Jerry Gergich
I suggest we raise a cone to Jerry Gergich.
Jerry Gergich
Jerry Gergich.
Jerry - 谢谢
Jerry! - Thank you.
哦 哎呀
Aw, jeez.
别担心 Gary
No worries, Gary.
哦 谢了 Sherm
Oh, thanks, Sherm.
你是怎么这么快就准备好的
How did you have that ready so fast?
我一直会准备一个备用冰淇淋
I always make a backup cone.
他大概有一半时间都会掉
He drops it about half the time.
Andy 你是下一个了
Andy, you're next.
世上任何的活动 你会选择什么
Any activity in the world. What would you do?
嗯 我那个是不可能的
Well, mine's impossible.
我想看一场小马队的比赛
I want to see a Colts game.
我想看到小马队跟爱国者队打出49比0
I want to see the Colts beat the Patriots 49 to nothing,
爱国者队四分卫 2022年退役
然后我朝Tom Brady大吼把他搞哭
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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