公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S05E07

Part 3 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:50 a.m.

有人偷走了我的电脑现在如果你是罪犯
Somebody stole my computer. Now, if you're a criminal,
看着我
look at me,
法律上说你必须告诉我
you have to tell me legally,
否则会被考虑为圈套
or else it's considered entrapment.
抱歉 Andy 不是我
I'm sorry, Andy. It wasn't me.
哦大哥真的吗
Oh, man, really?
不 - 好吧
No. - Okay.
好吧所以我们知道不是Jerry干的
Okay, so we know it's not Jerry,
除非他在对我撒谎
unless he was lying to me.
我永远分不清人们是不是在对我撒谎
I can never tell when people are lying to me.
希望我的警♥察♥工作里不会出现这种事
Hopefully that doesn't come up in my police work.
我觉得我们该多做点这种事情
I think we should do more stuff like this.
你知道我觉得Pawnee需要一个很棒的艺术项目
You know, I think Pawnee needs an amazing arts program.
或许你能抛下一切来协调组织一下
Maybe you should just drop everything and coordinate it.
我不傻
I'm not stupid.
那是什么意思
What is that supposed to mean?
意思是你带我来这里的唯一原因
It means that the only reason you brought me here
是分散我在狗公园上的注意力
is to distract me from the dog park.
你恨这个展 - 我爱这个展
You hate this show. - I love this show.
你最喜欢的部分是啥 - 难以消化的程度
What's your favorite part? - The heavy-handedness.
你知道吗我现在就去找Jamm议员聊
You know what, I have to go talk to Councilman Jamm right now.
你为啥要和Jamm聊啊
Why are you talking to Councilman Jamm?
因为我跟他说了那个狗公园的主意
Because I told him about the dog park idea,
他很喜欢他觉得是个好主意
and he loves it. He thinks it's a great idea.
他要在明天市议会会议上支持我的提议
He's gonna support my motion at the city council meeting tomorrow,
他还给了我一个很酷的牙医镜来看我的臼齿
and he gave me a really cool dental mirror to check out my molars.
我们的争论不说你和Jamm要小心点
Our dispute aside, you should be careful with Jamm.
他是条蛇我跟你说
He's a snake, I'm telling you.
是啊说得像我现在好像应该最相信你一样
Yeah, like I should trust you out of all people right now.
哞哞 - 安静怪人
Moo. Moo. - Quiet, weirdo.
你不是应该扮作一只羊吗
Aren't you supposed to be a sheep?
不你才是
No. You are.
哦闭嘴
Oh, shut up.
今日小企业
由Brian Raisins主持
Tom会很适合作为侧写形象上你的节目
Tom would make a great profile for your show.
我是说这是个从一系列难以置信的笨蛋商业策略中学经验的人
I mean, this is a guy who's learned through an unbelievable series of bonehead business moves.
更别说只在上个月
Not to mention in the last month alone
已经有三个人误认我是矮版的印度Ryan Gosling
three people have confused me for a shorter, Indian Ryan Gosling.
挺有意思但我觉得我要等到
It's interesting, but I think I need to wait
这个生意延续几个月之后保证它的可行性
until the business has been around for a few months, make sure it's viable.
你是那个在华盛顿搞国会竞选的家伙对吧 - 是啊
You're the guy who ran the congressional campaign in Washington, right? - Yeah.
怎么你也要给他一份工作吗
What, are you gonna offer him a job?
是的我们在推出一档政♥治♥谈话节目我们需要通讯记者
Yes. We're launching a new political chat show, and we need correspondents.
哦嗯谢谢但我在电视上有点不稳
Oh, well, thank you, but I'm a little shaky on live TV.
没事的人们喜欢真实感
That's okay. People want authenticity.
考虑一下 - 你没听他说吗
Think about it? - Didn't you hear him?
他在电视上太烂了
He stinks on TV.
他会出汗他会口吃
He sweats. He stutters.
就像《国王的演讲》但是是第一部分他治好之前
It's like The King's Speech, but the first part, before he's fixed.
那是电影里我最喜欢的部分呢
That was my favorite part of the movie.
发生什么了
What is happening?
Chris Traeger
Chris Traeger.
是的嗨 Andy
Yup. Hi, Andy.
我知道是你干的
I know you did it.
干什么了
Did what?
别跟我玩帅气装傻那一套
Don't play stupid and handsome with me.
你偷走了我的电脑让我能练习警♥察♥考试
You stole my computer so that I could practice for my police exam.
你有多性感就有多有罪
You're as guilty as you are sexy.
Andy 院子对面的办公室也报告有一台电脑被盗
Andy, another computer was reported stolen from the offices on the other side of the courtyard.
我不觉得这是你警♥察♥训练的一部分
I don't think this is part of your police training.
我觉得是市政厅被抢劫了
I think City Hall was robbed.
我分不清你是不是在撒谎
I can't tell if you're lying to me.
真的吗 - 我觉得
Really? - I think.
就是真的犯罪吗那更好了
Like a real crime? That's even better.
下一项事务
Next order of business:
是议事日程事项280B 在48号♥地上建造狗公园的提案
It's agenda item 280B, a motion to construct a dog park on municipal lot 48.
Ludgate小姐发言权交给你了
Ms. Ludgate, you have the floor.
谢谢你 Jamm议员
Thank you, Councilman Jamm.
您的帮助和一般性的不糟糕我表示感激
Your help and general non-awfulness is much appreciated.
Leslie 议员成员们
Leslie, members of the Council,
我相信市48号♥地应该建成一座狗公园
I believe that municipal lot 48 should be a dog park.
嘘嘘
Boo. Boo.
嗯听起来对此有相当多的反对意见
Well, it sounds like there's considerable opposition to this,
所以很抱歉 Ludgate小姐你该走了
so I'm sorry, Ms. Ludgate, you should go now.
真的吗我只听到一个老太婆在发出嘘声
Really? I just heard one hag booing.
女士们拜托我们保持文明
Ladies, please, let's keep this civil.
议员们 Pawnee人♥民♥们
Councilman, Pawneeans,
Jamm牙科诊所的满意顾客们
satisfied customers of Jamm Orthodontics,
在我们讨论48号♥地上应该放什么类型公园的时候
as we discuss what type of park to put on lot 48,
我有个想法
I had a thought.
没有公园怎么样
How about no park?
这里有谁觉得公园很蠢的
Who here thinks parks are stupid?
让记录显示所有人都举了手
Let the record show that everyone is raising their hands.
我碰巧知道个事实
I happen to know for a fact that
Pawnee最受欢迎的快餐厅大肚汉堡在找新店址
Pawnee's favorite fast food restaurant, Paunch Burger, needs a new location.
现在看在48号♥地的未来在开放辩论的情况下
Now, seeing as how the future of lot 48 is open for debate,
我提议我们卖♥♥给大肚汉堡来赚点不错的钱
I move we sell it to Paunch Burger for a nice profit.
你甚至都不需要是个亚洲人来做这么简单的数学
You don't even have to be Asian to do math that simple.
你跟我说过想要个狗公园的
You told me you wanted a dog park.
呃骗你啦
Uh, psych.
这不公平你对我撒谎
That's not fair. You lied to me.
你刚刚被"夹"了
You just got jammed.
我讨厌他这么说
I hate when he says that.
我跟你说过Jamm是条蛇了
I told you that Jamm was a snake.
嗯需要一条蛇来了解一条蛇
Well, it takes a snake to know a snake.
所以现在我是条蛇咯 -是的
So now I'm a snake? - Yes.
你欺骗了我整整两天
You deceived me for two straight days,
而且你还吃老鼠
and you eat mice.
我不吃老鼠 - 不你吃
I don't eat mice. - Yes, you do.
你是个吃老鼠的吃老鼠的
You're a mouse eater. Mouse eater.
吃老鼠的 - 够了
Mouse eater. - Enough!
你们是朋友和同事
You are friends and coworkers.
这个办公室里我们彼此互相尊重
In this office, we treat each other with respect.
嘿 April 那个狗公园的事情怎么样了
Hey, April, how is that dog park coming?
滚出去 Jerry - 这是私人谈话
Get out, Jerry. - This is private!
抱歉伙计们
Sorry, guys.
你俩不解决问题我们就不走了
We are not leaving here until you two figure this out.
Ron 守住大门
Ron, guard the door.
遵命先生
Yes, sir.
谁都不能离开八角笼
No one leaves the Octagon.
八角笼是终极格斗(UFC)的比赛场地
我约会过一个终极格斗者
I dated an ultimate fighter.
这是他常说的一句话
It was like a thing he said.
这里怎么操作呢警官
What's the play here, officer?
你要在这拉个警戒线可能窃听几个手♥机♥吗
You gonna set up a perimeter, maybe bug a few phones?
哦我知道了可以摆个假电脑给他们偷
Ooh, I know. We could put out a dummy computer for them to steal,
先在里面填满炸♥药♥
fill it with explosives first,
轰把他们全搞定
Boom, take 'em all out.
啊这种事我们都不会做的
Yeah, we're not doing any of that.
Andy 我喜欢你的热情但我们真没有
Andy, I love your enthusiasm, but we don't really have
这种开展大规模调查的资金
the kind of money to launch a massive investigation.
你就只要把这个蠢报告填好然后就这样了
You're just gonna fill out this stupid report and that's it?
作为一名未来的条子你必须理解
As a future cop, you have to understand,
我不会放这个人走的
I cannot let this guy go.
你看大哥这就是警♥察♥工作的大部分内容
Look, man, this is what most police work is.
就是记下东西
Just writing stuff down.
这不是超级英雄时间
It's not superhero time.
如果听起来很无聊
If it sounds boring,
或许你应该做点其他事情
maybe you ought to do something else.
或许我们该找到那个偷走他积极态度的人
Maybe we should find the person who stole his positive attitude.
嘿哥们