公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S05E18
Part 4
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:51 a.m.
Oh! - Go out there and help some kids with their pink eye,
或者不管啥你们在做的
or whatever it is you guys are doing.
Feinstein先生 谢谢 这真的非常的慷慨
Mr. Feinstein, thank you. This is extremely generous.
没事 真的 很高兴能帮忙
It's nothing, really. I'm happy to help.
这张支票是写给"操你自己"的
This check is made out to "Go yourself."
打你们脸了吧
In your face!
Dennis Feinstein谁也不帮
Dennis Feinstein helps no man!
都给我滚出我的办公室
Get the hell out of my office!
嘿 你什么毛病啊 大哥 - 你为啥让我
Hey, what's your problem, man? - Why did you make me
对他道歉啊 - 伙计们 伙计们 就稍等--
apologize to him? - Guys, guys, just hold it--
稍等一下 好吗
hold on a sec, okay?
Feinstein先生
Mr. Feinstein,
恕我直言...
with all due respect...
你就是个大混♥蛋♥
you are a major dick.
啥 - 跑
What? - Run!
Eddie 去拿我的弩 - 弩吗 什么--
Eddie, get my crossbow. - Crossbow? What the--
你们会付出代价的
You will pay for this!
嘿 你看起来好点了
Hey, you look better.
我想实际的药可能会有效吧
I guess actual medicine can be effective.
谁能想到呢 - 请走开
Who'da thunk? - Please leave me alone.
等到我们过完你的检测结果和血检再说
Not until we go over your test results and your blood work.
你的血压看起来正常
Your blood pressure looks fine.
我不确定是怎么做到的 但你的胆固醇只有120
I'm not sure how this is possible, but your cholesterol is 120,
是我见过的最低值
which is the lowest I've ever seen.
"胆固醇"是啥
What's "cholesterol"?
我看到的唯一问题是你的钾有点低
And the only problem I see is that your potassium's low,
所以偶尔吃个香蕉吧
so just eat a banana once in awhile.
不 谢谢 我活自己活的方式
No, thank you. I live the way I live,
我吃自己吃的东西 我死自己死的方式
I eat the things I eat, and I'll die the way I'll die.
真是怪异的美丽...
That's oddly beautiful...
但也很愚蠢
but also stupid.
你现在在世界上不是一个人了 Ron
You're not alone in the world anymore, Ron.
你在和一个有俩孩子的女人约会
You're dating a woman who has two kids,
所以每隔三天 想想Ivy Zoe和Diane
so every three days, think about Ivy and Zoe and Diane,
然后吃个该死的香蕉吧
and eat a damn banana.
我很抱歉 April
I am so sorry, April.
你在上面表现很糟糕 全是我的错
You are doing terribly up there, and it's all my fault.
不是你 是我
It's not you, it's me.
你在和我分手吗 - 我要分手的是
Are you breaking up with me? - I'm breaking up with the idea
对你成为动物管理部主任这个主意
of you being director of Animal Control.
我说要不我们撤回你的申请
I say we just withdraw your application
然后让Vern当主任 他牙齿确实很好
and let Vern become director. He does have good teeth.
不
No!
好吧 我有个主意 相信我
All right, I have an idea. Trust me.
Ludgate 这个委员会的意见是 你是个糟糕的人
Ms. Ludgate, it is the opinion of this committee that you are terrible.
你甚至能给我一个理由 说明为何你是这份工作的最佳人选吗
Can you give me even one reason why you're the right man for this job?
不能 但你那个家伙也不行
No. But neither is your guy.
我们都不该得到这份工作
Neither of us should get the job.
哦不 为什么呢
Oh, no? Why is that?
嗯 就不应该有一个分开的动物管理部
Well, there shouldn't be a separate Animal Control Department.
它预算太少 而且效率太低
Its budget is tiny, and it's ineffective,
说实话 没人能改变现状了
and frankly, no one could change that.
所以我觉得它应该被公园部合并
So I think it should be absorbed into the Parks Department.
那是个天才的主意啊
That is a genius idea.
谁来叫醒Milton 正在创造历史呢
Somebody wake up Milton. History is being made.
硫磺岛
Iwo Jima!
动物管理部如果通过公园部运行的话会更高效
Animal Control would be way more effective if it ran through the Parks Department,
如果你们想 我可以写一份正式报告
and if you want, I can write up an official report
用简单到你们这些笨蛋都能理解的语言 笨蛋们
in language simple enough for even you dummies to understand, dummies.
议员 你必须承认这个主意很有道理
Councilman, you have to admit that that idea makes a lot of sense.
等等 你们似乎忘了我已经跟Vern说他搞到了这份工作
Hang on a second. You seem to be forgetting that I already told Vern he got the job,
而他已经买♥♥了艘新快艇了
and he already bought a new speedboat.
嗯 我希望他的发♥票♥还留着
Well, I hope he kept a receipt.
那是个美妙的主意 来自一个黑暗扭曲的天才
That was a brilliant idea from a dark, tortured genius,
我提议动物管理部被公园部吞并
and I move that Animal Control be absorbed into Parks and Rec.
我同意
I second that.
耶
Yay!
看看啊 April 你赢了Jamm
Look at that, April. You won over Jamm.
呃 不 她没有
Uh, no, she didn't.
我就是烦死在输的那一边了
I'm just sick of being on the losing side.
我要跟所有人说这是我的主意
I'm going to tell everyone this was my idea.
后"夹"
Retro-Jammed.
我们现在要这么做 我能再道歉吗
What do we do now? Can I apologize again?
我真的开始很擅长道歉了
I'm getting really good at apologizing.
去他的 你应该为向那个家伙道歉而道歉
Screw that. You should apologize for apologizing to that guy.
天啊 我们真的可以用上那个钱的
God, we really could've used the money, though.
要是我们造成的印象更深一点就好了
Just wish we'd made a bigger impression.
你做到了啊-- 我真的被
You did-- I was really impressed by all the stuff
这个基金会给那些穷兄弟们做的事情打动了 所以你猜怎么着
the foundation's done for all them poor homies, so you know what?
"租个型"这个月赚的每一块钱我们要捐出五分
Rent-A-Swag is gonna donate five cents from every dollar we make this month.
这不是Feinstein的钱 但能帮忙的
It's not Feinstein money, but it'll help.
非常慷慨了 Tom
That's very generous, Tom.
Feinstein最烂了 我希望他开那辆劳力士车时出车祸
Feinstein's the worst. I hope he gets into an accident driving that Rolex Mobile.
最后说一次 是劳力萨斯
For the last time, it's a Rolexus,
而且你不能开
and you can't drive it.
April 我给你准备了份礼物 你看
April, I have a gift for you. Ta da.
在Leslie的建议下 我任命你为
At Leslie's suggestion, I have made you
公园部的动物管理副主任
deputy director of Animal Control within the Parks Department.
你会干得很好的 而且最棒的是
You'll be amazing at it, and the best part,
没有听证会
there is no confirmation hearing.
你是怎么这么快就做好这个名牌的
How did you make this plaque so quickly?
你来的第一周我就做好了
I had it made your first week here.
我知道你会去其他地方 所以我想准备好
I knew you'd be going places, so I wanted to be prepared.
我可以雇实习生吗 - 还不行
Can I hire an intern? - Not yet.
我可以雇一个墨西哥小精灵吗 - 不行
Can I hire a Mexican elf? - No.
我可以买♥♥个童养媳吗 - 不行
Can I buy a child bride? - No.
那这怎么能算是升职呢
Then how is this even a promotion?
政♥府♥不应该根据个人的偏好来操作
Government shouldn't operate based on personal favors.
它应该基于好的主意
It should operate based on good ideas.
April有最好的主意 而今天 最好的主意赢了
April had the best idea, and today the best idea won.
Leslie 我真的要去洗手间了
Leslie, I really have to go to the bathroom.
哦 是 对 抱歉
Oh, yeah, right, sorry.
你不用跟我进来的
You don't have to come in with me.
我也没打算
I wasn't going to.
化用《为黛西小姐开车》
你步伐能稍微快一点点吗 - 哦 好 Daisy小姐
Could you pick up the pace a little bit? - Oh, yes, Miss Daisy.
晚安 Ron - 晚安 Ron
Night, Ron. - Night, Ron.
女士们 女士们
Ladies, ladies.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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