公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S05E20

Part 2 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:51 a.m.

and we can have a baby without being a conflict of interest.
一帆风顺
Clear sailing.
再见 Ann Perkins 我的优秀员工
Goodbye, Ann Perkins, my excellent employee.
你好 Ann Perkins 我的输卵公主
Hello, Ann Perkins, my fallopian princess.
是这么来的
So here's the drill.
存到这里面
Make a deposit in here.
如果你能装满你就能上榜
If you fill it up all the way, you get on the board.
然后我们提取样本在离心机里旋转
Then we take the sample, spin it in the centrifuge,
准备受精
and prepare it for fertilization.
听起来挺浪漫
Sounds romantic.
我想是上的时候了
I guess it's go time.
上吧
Go time!
等等我在干嘛我又不跟你进去
Wait, what am I doing? I don't go with you.
哦不不我自己进去
Oh, no, no. I go in alone
和这张色情影碟一起自己搞定
with this pornographic disc and do it myself.
而你呆在外面试着不要想我在里面做什么
And you stay out here and try not to think about what I'm doing in there.
而我试着不要想你在外面等着试着不要想我
And I try not to think about you waiting out here trying not to think about me.
我应该想到你吗
Should I think about you?
这也太奇怪了
This is so weird.
Chris 我们没必要今天就做这个的
Chris, we don't have to do this today.
这一切都发生得太突然了
This was totally just sprung on us.
我们就花点时间
Let's just take a moment.
还有那么多小册子需要看呢
There's so many pamphlets to look at.
是的我们确实有很重要的小册子阅读需要做
Yes, we do have very important pamphlet reading to do.
极好的主意 Ann Perkins
Excellent idea, Ann Perkins.
我要留着这个吗
Do I keep this?
我不知道感觉留在这也不对
I don't know. It feels wrong to leave it here.
给我吧
Give it to me.
我慌了跑
I panicked. Run!
这是动物管理部最后的报告
Here are the last of the Animal Control reports.
你在干啥啊怪人
What are you doing, weirdo?
就试着不要弄洒什么
Just trying not to spill anything.
我记得Leslie说是按年整理这些
I believe Leslie said to organize these by year.
早就想到了
Way ahead of you.
我理了两件文堆
I made two pile files.
两届文端呃文界两届
Pilo fibles. Ugh. Filo pilos.
文界两届吗不对吧
Filo pilos? That's not right.
你坏掉了吗 - 不一切都好
Are you broken? - No, everything's fine.
嗯我想那就确定新的Jerry是谁了
Well, I guess that settles who the new Jerry is.
不没有我甚至几乎没说错啊
No, it doesn't! I barely even said it wrong.
说错啊 - 停下
Said it wrong. - Stop it!
就是这么开始的
This is how it begins.
下一个"Jerry"
The next "Jerry."
一句话搞砸然后30年后
One screwed-up sentence, and 30 years later,
我就穿着海蓝色的毛衣
I'm wearing aquamarine sweater vests
Bonnie Raitt 布鲁斯吉他大♥师♥
在我的iPod上听着Bonnie Raitt和《达芬奇密♥码♥》
and listening to Bonnie Raitt and The da Vinci Code on my iPod.
已经开始了啊
It's already started.
信不信由你 Jerry 你也曾年轻过
Believe it or not, Jerry, you were young once.
年轻而怀抱梦想
Young and full of dreams.
我都忘了我写了这些啊
I forgot I wrote all this.
虽然这些目标既不现实又荒唐
And as unrealistic and absurd as those goals were,
直到我们帮你实现之前我们是不会让你退休的
we are not letting you retire until we help you achieve them.
所以我们来看看第一条是什么
So let's see what's first.
"在市议会内部餐厅吃饭"
"Eat in city council private dining room."
这我们能做到啊
That we can achieve.
就现在
Right now?
当然我们走
Sure. Let's go.
仅供授权人士进入
Authorized personnel only.
哦他们和我一起的
Oh, they're with me.
市议员Leslie Knope 四级许可
City Councilor Leslie Knope, clearance level four.
访客只在周三允许
Guests are only allowed on Wednesdays.
我们也没有许可级别
And we don't have clearance levels.
我知道但不该有吗
I know, but shouldn't we?
我觉得听起来太酷了
I mean, it sounds so cool.
无论如何我们只需要稍微进去一下
Anyway, we just need to get in there real quick
然后可能拍个照
and maybe take a picture.
他作为市政厅雇员工作了41年之后退休了
He's retiring as a City Hall employee after 41 years,
而他的梦想是在这里吃饭
and it was his dream to eat here.
他的梦想吗真的吗
His dream? Really?
还是不行 - 没事的 Leslie 来吧
Still no. - It's okay, Leslie. Come on.
但谢谢了谢谢你试过
But thank you. Thank you for trying.
不不不不不我向你保证过了
No, no, no, no, no. I promised you
一顿行政餐你也会吃到的
an executive meal and you're gonna get one.
Ben 就--好吧
Ben, just--okay.
我就进去和Jerry拍张照
I'm gonna go in there and take a picture with Jerry.
我用胳膊环绕空气
I put my arm around nothing.
然后你后面把他PS上去行吧
And then you Photoshop him in later, okay?
祝贺您退休啊
Congratulations on your retirement.
喔谢谢了
Aw, thank you.
1 3 7 2 5 9
One, three, seven, two, five, nine.
噗
Pffft!
数独太简单了
Sudoku is easy.
这游戏真的有规则吗
Is there even rules to this game?
Jerry悲惨难闻的皇冠有一个自然的继任者
There's a natural successor to Jerry's sad, smelly crown.
而那不是我是Andy
And it's not me. It's Andy.
大家伙是的
Big guy? Check.
愚蠢是的
Goofy? Check.
我要做的只是等到一次教科书的Dwyer搞砸
All I have to do is wait for a textbook Dwyer screw-up,
通常的发生频率是嗯每20分钟
which usually happens, mm, every 20 minutes.
嘿这不是文界两届吗
Hey, if it isn't Filo Pilo.
哦真有创意呢 Donna
Oh, real creative, Donna.
你指望那个名字能流传吗
You expect that to catch on?
宝那根笔
Babe, the pen.
看看Andy啊他全身都是墨水
Look at Andy. There's ink all over him.
Andy就是新Jerry了
Andy's the new Jerry.
游戏结束了
Game over.
好棒哦
Awesome.
嘿我就像是个巨型鱿鱼
Hey, I'm like a giant squid.
嘿亲爱的我是墨水吸血鬼 - 别停下
Hey, honey, I'm ink Dracula. - No, stop.
鱿鱼吸血鬼要来抓你啦
Squid Dracula is going to get you.
盯错人了文界
Barking up the wrong tree, Filo.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
Andy永远不能成为新Jerry的
Andy will never be the new Jerry.
没什么能让他尴尬
Nothing embarrasses him.
他就像是只没有羞耻的巨大狗狗
He's like a giant puppy with no shame.
你需要的是办公室进来点小鲜肉
What you need is some fresh meat in the office.
或者你们就别继续开我玩笑了
Or you guys could just stop making fun of me.
是哦不
Yeah. No.
好吧继续下一个Jerry目标--
Okay, on to the next Jerry goal--
和Knudson市长见面
meet Mayor Knudson.
哦是啊他那时还是市长呢
Oh, yeah. He was the mayor at the time.
我一直想见到他来着
I've always wanted to meet him.
嗯今天你就有机会了
Well, today you're getting that chance.
所以他曾经是个很好的市长吗 - 不真不是
So was he like a really great mayor? - No, not really.
他因为腐♥败♥和诈骗辞职了
He resigned because of corruption and racketeering,
然后因为药物过量去世了
and then he died from an overdose of pills.
但实际上他的真正死因
But actually his real cause of death
是被铐着双手从直升飞机里扔了出去
was being thrown out of a helicopter while handcuffed.
有些人说他还活着
Some people say he's still alive
市长遭遇可怕死亡
因为他们从没找到尸体
because they never found the body,
但他们没找到尸体是因为他撞击地面的时候爆♥炸♥了
but they never found the body because he exploded on impact.
听起来是个好哥们 - 是啊
Sounds like a good dude. - Yeah.
我就希望能有机会见到他
I just wish I had a chance to meet him,
你知道好多年前在所有这些丑闻和他去世之前
you know, years ago before all the scandals and his death.
但这也很好
But this is nice too.
是啊 - 是吗
Yeah. - Is it?
是的 - 嗯哼
Yes. - Mm-hmm.
是的
It is.
好吧过去吧
Okay, go over there.
我们来见Knudson市长