公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S05E12
Part 2
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:50 a.m.
宝 你看起来超级辣
Babe, you look super hot.
你意识到你每一套都是这么说的吗
You realize you've said that about all of them?
嗯 她确实是啊 每一次都是
Well, she has, every single time.
因为她就是超级辣
'Cause she is super hot.
实话说 你裸体最辣
Honestly, you'd look hot naked.
恶 这套套装让我想训斥一个天主教孩子了
Ugh. This suit makes me want to scold a Catholic child.
服装品牌
我不知道Ann Taylor是谁
I don't know who Ann Taylor is,
但我讨厌她 我想要杀了她
but I hate her and I want to kill her.
我这周每天都要主持一场Pawnee公园的公共论♥坛♥
I have to lead a public forum for the Pawnee Commons every day this week,
而我讨厌和人类讲话
and I hate talking to people.
所以 为了熬过去 我寻思我基本上试着模仿Leslie就好
So, to get through it, I figured I'm just gonna basically try to imitate Leslie.
这套她还在穿
She still wears this.
Aniston队
指布拉德皮特和詹妮弗安妮斯顿/安吉丽娜朱莉
这个胸章是缝上去的
She had the patch sewn in.
根本扯不掉
You can't remove it.
口袋里是什么呢 你问
What's in the pocket, you ask?
一张Fleetwood Mac 1995年演唱会的票根
A ticket stub from a Fleetwood Mac concert in 1995,
还有...
and...
Sweetums糖果口味避孕套
这套 确实 糟糕
This one is terrible,
但是比其他的还是少糟糕一点
but it is slightly less terrible than the rest.
所以明天我主持公共论♥坛♥的时候
So tomorrow, I lead a public forum
要穿着Leslie的Fleetwood Mac性♥爱♥长裤
in Leslie's Fleetwood Mac sex pants.
Fleetwood Mac性♥爱♥长裤 新乐队名 我抢了
Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants. New band name. I call it.
哦 你知道吗
Ooh, you know what?
或许就叫Fleetwood Mac
Maybe just Fleetwood Mac.
所以下一步是什么
So what's the next move?
Eagleton有一家 更好的精♥子♥银行还是怎样
Is there, like, a better sperm bank in Eagleton or something?
呃 你不会想要一个恶魔宝宝的
Um, you don't want a demon baby.
你看 你可是Ann Perkins
Look, you're Ann Perkins.
配得上你完美卵子的精♥子♥可不会长在树上
Sperm that is worthy of your perfect eggs does not grow on trees.
我觉得 理想状态下
I think, ideally,
你还是想认识那个男的 对吧
you'd want to know the guy, right?
你想要了解他的性格
You'd want to know his personality,
他最喜欢《老友记》的哪一季
his favorite season of Friends,
他是不是讨厌爵士-- 希望他是
whether or not he hates jazz-- hopefully, he does.
你会想要认识他的
You'd want to know him.
是啊 Leslie 你完全是对的
Yes, Leslie, you're totally right.
我要回家 然后我要做一个表
I'm gonna go home, and I'm gonna make a list
列出我所有已经认识的可能捐赠者
of all the guys I already know who could be donors.
然后 我联♥系♥他们
And then, I'm gonna call them
跟他们说我在写博客调查男性健康之类的
and tell them I'm doing some blog entry on men's health or something.
我可以采访他们 然后问任何想问的
I can interview them and ask them whatever I want.
你真是个天才
You're a genius!
这是你的主意 而我爱死了
This is your idea, and I love it.
我回头打给你
I'll call you later.
不
No.
如果我不拖慢这趟宝宝列车
If I don't slow this baby train down,
Ann可能会跟哪个怪咖路人生了个孩子
Ann may end up having a baby with some random weirdo
而不是她的灵魂伴侣
instead of her soul mate.
我完全相信一个女性应该有权掌管她的身体
I fully believe that a woman should be in charge of what happens to her body.
这一次 身体是Ann的
In this case, the body is Ann's,
而掌权的女性是我
and the woman in charge of it is me.
我通宵头脑风暴 搞定了这个完整官方列表
I was up all night brainstorming and this is the complete official list
包含Ann宝宝爸爸的候选人
of candidates for Ann's baby daddy.
哇 你是怎么想到这所有 三个名字的
Wow, how did you come up with these three names?
嗯 我排除了所有在恋爱关系里的 还有明显的"不"的
Well, I eliminated everyone in a relationship and the obvious "No" s,
比如人力资源部的手指毛Dave
like Knuckle-hair Dave from HR.
我倒是不介意手指毛 我只是觉得他是个混♥蛋♥ - 是啊
I don't mind the knuckle hair. I just think he's a dick. - Yeah.
而我就留下了那三个家伙
And I was left with those three guys.
别忘了 他们还都不知道捐精的事情
Don't forget, they don't know about the sperm donor thing.
我不想让他们知道
I don't want them to know.
我告诉他们是为了博客做采访
I told them I was interviewing them for a blog.
第一位这就来了 Harris医生
Here comes the first one. Dr. Harris!
嘿-嘿 他到这了 - 嗨 Ann Leslie
H-hey, there he is. - Hi. Ann, Leslie.
办公室好小 我的大太多了
Small office. Mine's way bigger.
这要花很久吗 还有个病人要过来
Is this gonna take long? Got a patient coming in.
不 不会很久 请坐
No, not at all. Please have a seat.
实际上 要不你还是去看看你的病人吧
Actually, maybe you should check in on your patient.
我知道我就讨厌我的医生让我等
I know that I hate it when my doctor makes me wait.
那人脊柱骨折
Guy's got a spinal fracture.
哪也去不了
He's not going anywhere.
嗯哼 - 哦 我办公室里的椅子可是皮的
Uh-huh. - Ooh. The seats in my office are leather.
好吧
Okay.
Chris
Chris?
我要死了
I'm dying.
我今天早些时候要死了
I was dying earlier today.
然后我死了
And then I died.
现在我是死人了
Now I'm dead.
我被迫和Shauna Malwae-Tweep取消了约会
I had to cancel a date with Shauna Malwae-Tweep.
而我真的喜欢她
And I really like her.
你觉得她还会喜欢我吗
Do you think she'll still like me
现在我死了的情况下
now that I'm dead?
这是什么啊
What is this?
是食物中毒 我也有了
It's food poisoning. I have it too.
我昨晚一秒都没睡
I did not sleep for one second last night.
我把马桶底给坐碎了
And I cracked the bottom of the toilet bowl.
哦天啊 别说这些啊
Oh, God, don't say that.
有人和Tom联♥系♥过了吗
Has anybody talked to Tom?
我不敢想象那么小的一个人会是什么感觉
I can't even imagine what that tiny little man must be feeling like.
我过去12个小时里就已经排出一个Tom的体重了
I have voided more than Tom's body weight in the last 12 hours alone.
他可能就直接从地球上消失了
He might have just disappeared off the earth.
我们需要给他打电♥话♥ 我们需要联♥系♥到他
We need to call him. We must reach out to him.
我做不到
I can't do it.
Ben
Ben,
分机号♥7820
extension 7820.
你们好 各位
Hello, everyone.
我是公园部门的April Ludgate
I'm April Ludgate from the Parks Department.
欢迎来到关于Pawnee公园的一场公共论♥坛♥
And welcome to a public forum about the Pawnee Commons.
罗斯福总统的妻子(1884-1962)
正如埃莉诺·罗斯福曾对
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said
福特总统的妻子(1918-2011)
Betty Ford说的...
to Betty Ford...
"希拉里·克♥林♥顿♥很棒哦"
"Hillary Clinton is great."
现在 如果你们赏光看看座位下面
Now, if you all would kindly look under your chairs,
你们会找到一个特别惊喜--
you will find a special surprise--
一张有项目详情的传♥单♥
a flyer with details about the project,
还有...友情手链
and... Friendship bands
我为你们每个人单独做的
that I've made for each and every one of you.
所以现在 我猜我们是公园伙伴了
So now, I guess we're Park Pals.
你该看看这把椅子下面的鼻屎
You should see the booger under this chair.
Andy
Andy.
再次见到你挺好 Ann
It's nice to see you again, Ann.
接到你的电♥话♥很开心
I was happy to get the call.
是啊 Pete 你气色不错 - 喔
Yeah, Pete, you look great. - Aww.
所以你还在灌篮吗
So are you still dunking basketballs?
你知道 我可不只是一个前高中篮球明星
You know, I'm a lot more than just a former high school basketball star.
我在Pawnee社区大学教市场营销
I teach marketing over at Pawnee Community College.
哦 那很棒啊 - 是啊
Oh, that's great. - Yeah.
你觉得你看重教育吗
Would you say you value education?
我知道这里发生什么了
I see what's going on here.
你们想要我的精♥子♥
You want my sperm.
什么 你在说什么呢
What? What are you talking about?
这个镇的女人何时才能不图谋我的精♥子♥啊
When will women in this town stop scheming to get my sperm?
哇
Wow.
那个婊♥子♥养♥的♥还真敏锐
That son of a bitch is astute.
好吧 我只需要再驳倒一个人
Okay, all I need to do is just shoot one more person down
然后我就能争取点时间
and then I can buy some time
说服Ann等到她自己的Ben级别灵魂伴侣了
and convince Ann to wait for her own Ben-level soul mate.
最后一个男的是Howard Tuttleman
The last guy is Howard Tuttleman.
我记得那个名字
I know that name.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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