公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S05E03

Part 2 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:50 a.m.

Okay.
开玩笑的我们不去了
Just kidding. We're not going.
公路旅行哦
Road trip!
所以我们要去吗
So we're going?
是的啊
Yes!
哦我能和April相处一下挺激动的
Oh, I'm excited to bond a little with April.
她就像是我从未有过的小妹妹
She's like the little sister I never had.
因为我有的那个小妹妹
Because the little sister I do have
很正常也不可怕
is normal and not terrifying.
"我要杀了你"
311 - 嗯 Diane 处理坑洞的话
311. - Well, Diane, for potholes,
你应该去找公共工程部
you want to speak with Public Works.
我理解你已经试着联♥系♥他们四次了
I understand you've tried them four times.
政♥府♥很低效而且应该解散
Government is inefficient and should be dissolved.
请不要挂机我帮你转接
Please hold while I transfer you.
Donna 你能帮帮我吗
Donna, can you help me?
我接到个311电♥话♥ 但都是静电
I got a 311 call, but it was all static.
那听起来像是个IT问题
That sounds like an I.T. problem.
嗯那我要怎么联♥系♥IT部门呢
Well, how do I get I.T. here?
打311啊
Call 311.
311 我能怎--
311, how can I--
哦又是你啊 Diane
Oh, hello again, Diane.
没人接听吗
Nobody answered?
好的你猜怎么着
Okay, you know what?
有人会马上到的
Someone will be there shortly.
Andrew 带上你的午饭一些水
Andrew, get your lunch, some water,
和一包18公斤的沥青
and a 40-pound bag of asphalt.
好的老板我们要去哪
Okay, boss. What are we doing?
我们要去填个坑 - 嘿
We're fixing a pothole. - Hey!
Pawnee 311 我能怎么帮--
Pawnee 311. How can I help--
哦不不这不是911报♥警♥电♥话♥
Oh, no. No, this is not 911.
不不这是311
No, no. This is 311.
Donna 他们把我的热♥线♥切换到了911
Donna, they switched my phone with 911.
我要怎么做啊
What do I do?
我也不知道啊试着帮忙吧
I don't know. Try to help.
现在安静
Now hush.
《五十度灰》
这边情节正热火朝天呢
It is heating up in this piece.
哦那听起来太糟糕了
Oh, that sounds awful.
我的天啊也太热了
Good lord, it is hot.
是啊饶了我吧
Yes, mercy me.
住在这个镇上就像是住在恶魔的屁♥股♥沟里
Living in this town's like living in the devil's butt crack.
几乎没油了
Almost out of gas.
我等到我们上高速再说
I'll wait till we're on the highway.
嗯 GPS说我们要走495转270
Now, the GPS says we should take 495 to 270,
但看看这条我找到的超酷替代路--
but check out this cool alternate route I fou--
哦我的天这对我也太有意思了
Oh, my God, that is so interesting to me
因为我是个地图销♥售♥员
because I'm a map salesman.
我们为啥还不动啊
Why aren't we moving?
因为其他车啊
Because. Other cars.
你能不那么做吗求你别
Will you not do that? Please don't.
你就是该这么--
That's what you do when you--
请不要--哦好啊来了个人
Please don't do-- Oh, great, here comes a guy.
打扰一下 - 嗯哼
Excuse me. - Mm-hmm?
我们为啥没动啊 - 出口暂时关闭
Why aren't we moving? - Exit's closed for a bit.
总统车队
Presidential motorcade.
我先熄火等着出口再开吧
I'll just shut off the car till it opens up.
我了个神啊也太热了
Holy [Bleep], it's hot.
哦耶耶
Oh, yeah, yeah.
很美 Tom 太美了
Beautiful, Tom. Beautiful.
极好的牙龈 - 哦谢了
Dynamite gums. - Aw, thanks.
Tom 你想知道为什么我搬来Pawnee吗
Tom, do you want to know why I moved to Pawnee?
当然
Sure.
因为这里的两大主要产业是玉米糖浆和橡胶奶头
It's because the two leading industries here are corn syrup and rubber nipples.
牙医头奖很天才对吧
It is a dentistry jackpot. It's genius, right?
嗯牙医博士缩写DDS可不是代表"呆呆傻"啊
Well, D.D.S. doesn't stand for "dumb, dumb, stupid."
我喜欢这个说法
I like that.
我要偷走了现在是我的了
I'm going to steal it. That's mine now.
好吧酷哦
All right. Cool.
Jamm议员和我关系挺紧密的
Councilman Jamm and I have gotten pretty tight.
而我希望能把这作为筹码赌赢一张Pawnee烟室的会员门票
And I'm hoping to parlay this into a membership at the Pawnee Smokehouse,
那是Pawnee最排他的雪茄俱乐部
Pawnee's most exclusive cigar club.
装填过度的皮椅酒柜顶层的白兰地
Overstuffed leather chairs, top-shelf brandies.
陈旧的烟叶恶臭仿佛在说
And that stale tobacco stench that says,
"欢迎来到上流社会"
"Welcome to the top."
你是Pawnee烟室的成员之一对吧
You're a member of the Pawnee Smokehouse, right?
哦是的 - 哥们我爱一根好的雪茄
Oh, yeah. - Man, I love a good stogie.
我实际上刚刚搞了个定制的雪茄剪
I actually just had this personalized cigar cutter made.
哇
Whoa.
真的很棒
Real nice.
不是我的首字母但非常感谢
Not my initials, but thank you so much.
哦嗯这不是--
Oh, well, it's not--
好吧
Okay.
嘿所以呃 Leslie的法案我们还是没问题对吧
Hey, so, uh, we're still all good on Leslie's bill, right?
实际上 Tommy 我们得聊聊
Actually, Tommy, we need to talk.
我从中学开始就想烫这个头发了
I have wanted this perm since middle school.
我简直是激动到极点了
I could not be more excited about this.
你激动吗 Autumn - 激动肯定的
Are you excited, Autumn? - Yeah, definitely.
你给别人烫发之后他们有后悔过的吗
Do you ever give a perm to someone and ever regret it?
呃...
Uh...
Ann告诉过我很多次别烫头发了
Ann has told me repeatedly not to get a perm.
但Ann不在这儿
But Ann's not here.
所以山中无Ann时猴子烫头发
So when the Ann's away, the mice get perms.
Jamm议员改变了他的投票
Councilman Jamm changed his vote.
他给"太阳下的乐趣"投否决票了
He's voting no on Fun in the Sun.
什么为啥他向我保证了的啊
What? Why? He promised me.
他只是说他改变主意了
He just said that he changed his mind.
然后他告诉我贴面齿能让我的笑容更亮眼
Then he told me some veneers could really make my smile pop.
你觉得呢
Thoughts?
哦我的天投票还有一个小时了
Oh, my God. The vote is in an hour.
好的我们需要来一次紧急战略会议
Okay, we need to have an emergency strategy session now.
那烫发呢 - 烫发必须等着了 Autumn
What about the perm? - The perm must wait, Autumn!
烫发必须等着
The perm must wait.
等等...所以这意味着法案不会通过了吗
Wait... So this means the bill isn't going to pass?
我的父母说你们什么都做不成
My parents said that you guys can't get anything done.
现在等等好吧等下
Now, wait, okay, hold on.
长♥期♥来讲这还没结束
This isn't over by a long shot.
但现在是三比二反对我们
But it's three to two against us.
是啊我知道数学怎么做 Mason
Yeah, I know how to do math, Mason.
好吧别大惊小怪
Okay, don't be an alarmist.
我们保持积极心态很重要
It's very important that we stay positive.
我们的积极心态是最有利的条件
Our positive attitude is our greatest asset.
Tom 借一步说话 - 嗯哼
Tom, a word, please. - Mm-hmm.
法案死掉了海豚要灭绝了
The bill is dead, the Porpoises are doomed,
民♥主♥要完蛋了哦我的天啊
and democracy is over. Oh, my God.
不敢相信我居然决定烫发
I can't believe I decided to get a perm.
Ann不应该让我这么做的
Ann should have never let me do this.
你看 Jamm看到你上《今日Pawnee》了
Look, Jamm saw you on Pawnee Today.
他知道你多想要这个
He knows how much you want this.
他只是想要捞点好处
He's just trying to get something in return.
这是个讨价还价的手段而已
This is a bargaining tool.
你知道这就是人们讨厌这个政♥府♥的原因
You know, this is why people hate the government.
因为就当我们准备做一点儿真正的好事情时
'Cause just when we're about to do something really good,
就因为一些愚蠢自私的混♥蛋♥屁人垮掉了
it all falls apart due to some stupid, selfish jerk butt.
你知道去他的Jamm 去他的Jamm
You know, screw Jamm. Screw Jamm.
我就去试试拿到Milton议员的票吧
I'm just going to try to get Councilman Milton's vote.
Milton 他得有 150岁了吧
Milton? He's, like, 150 years old.
是啊他有孙子孙女的好吧
Yeah. He's got grandkids, okay?
而--而孩子们都爱游泳
And--and kids love to swim.
他会给我们投这票的
And he'll give us his vote.
他是个老人
He's an old person,
而我会跟他很慢地讲