糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E13

Part 4 May 11, 2021, 9:16 a.m.

话说我认识一个人可以将咱们救出苦海
Hey, you guys, I know somebody who can get us out of this.
跟我来
Come on.
天哪
Oh, my God!
惊喜
Surprise!
原来是闹铃♥声♥啊
Oh, that's what that noise was.
-什么 -我就求你们做了一件事
- What? - I asked you guys to do one thing--
搅一搅烩饭可你们并没有做到
stir the risotto-- and you didn't do it!
我今晚唯一的愿望就是想跟朋友共进美味晚餐
All I wanted for tonight was a nice meal with my friends!
没关系啦
Whatever, man.
咱们就吃点赛百味的三明治好了
We'll just get some Subway footlongs.
蜂蜜燕麦面包意大利香辣味
Spicy Italian on a honey wheat?
那可是美式烩饭
That's America's risotto.
这简直就是咱们之间多年的相处方式
You know, this has been our dynamic for years.
你俩整天搞事瞎捣乱
You two do dumb crap
完全无视我和我的努力
without any consideration for me or my effort.
我受够了
I'm sick of it!
哦不妈咪生气了
Oh, no, Mummy's mad.
我们搞砸了妈咪的特别晚餐
No, we've spoiled Mummy's special dinner.
妈咪生气了而且妈咪还很强壮
Mommy is mad, and Mommy's also stronger
比你俩加起来都壮
than both of you combined!
去死吧你们
Screw this!
杜瓦家族海滩烛光追悼会
班车
大家好
Oh, hey, hi!
你们来了
You're here.
接下来是坐一会儿巴士然后再徒步走很久
Okay, so it's just a short bus ride followed by a long hike.
戴维提前通知一下
And David, just a heads-up,
我需要你帮忙背着一位姨妈
I'm gonna need you to piggyback an auntie.
无比期待呢
Oh, looking forward to that.
路易不知道你有什么计划希望能成功
Louie, I don't know what your plan is. It better work.
一定会成功的
It will work.
妈把你包里给杰克准备的酸奶给我
Mom, hand me that yogurt you keep in your purse for Jake.
什么现在吃零食合适吗
What? Is now really the time for a snack?
别打扰他做事
Let the man work.
行吧
Okay.
对不起
Oh, I--I'm sorry.
真对不起
I--I'm so sorry.
真应该早点跟路易确认一下
I should have probably checked with Louie
他的计划
about what his plan was.
宝贝你没事吧
Oh, honey, are you okay?
抱歉了各位
Oh, guys, I'm sorry.
路易病了我们得去看病
Louie's sick. I think we're gonna have to sit this one out.
应该的
I think you should.
小孩真的太恶心了
Kids are gross.
哦耶倒霉蛋们你们被酸奶骗到了
Booyah, suckers. You been Yo-Played.
回见
See ya.
于是路易假装呕吐让我们继续欢度假期
And just like that, Louie had fake-barfed life back into our trip.
我喊「假期」你们喊「必胜」
When I say "Vacay" you say "Tion"!
-假期 -必胜
- Vacay! - "Tion"!
-假期 -必胜
- Vacay! - "Tion"!
-快进泳池 -哦不
- Get in that pool! - Oh, no.
我喊「丢人」你们喊「至极」
When I say "Humilia" You say "Tion."
我以为你们都去坐班车了
I--I thought you guys were on the shuttle.
计划有变
Change of plans.
悬崖附近有恶劣天气警告
There was a severe weather warning at the bluffs.
但酒店服务很好他们愿意关闭泳池
But the hotel was nice enough to close down the pool
让我们举办烛光追悼会
for our candle ceremony.
等一下路易不是病了吗
Wait, I thought Louie was sick?
你们怎么都穿着泳衣
Why are y'all in swimsuits?
不泳池关了
No! The pool is closed?
我恨死这次度假了
I hate this vacation!
-别走路易 -「度假」
- No, no, no, Louie, Louie! - "Vacation"?
你们这群肮脏的人居然把追悼会当度假
You dirt people are using this memorial as a vacation?
没有当然没有啦
Uh, no, of course not.
不是的他的意思是...
No, no, no. What he meant was--
爸爸外公这是献给你们的
Dad, Grandpa, this is for you.
我要过上「路易生活」
I'm living "La vida Louie."
抱膝跳
Canonball!
好好好听我说
Okay, okay, look.
我知道有些人会觉得刚才那个抱膝跳水
I can see where some might find that canonball...
非常大不敬但其实不是的
disrespectful, but-- but it wasn't.
因为...
Because...
这是在致敬丽塔阿姨
it's a tribute to Rita Auntie.
没错还有致敬她的一生
Yeah. And to her whole life,
还有我们的人生
and to our lives!
因为...
Because...
人生苦短时光易逝
there's never enough time.
跟所爱的人在一起的时间永远都不够
There's never enough moments to enjoy the people that we love.
你们肯定也是这么想的
And I know that you all feel the same way
因为咱们的孩子都在不断长大
'cause our kids are growing up.
我们的父母在慢慢老去
And our--and our parents are getting older,
我至今还没看过「消失的爱人」
and I still haven't read "Gone Girl" so...
别这样
Come on.
大家齐聚一堂
You know, we're here.
大家都还活着
We're alive!
这里有个泳池
There's a pool!
那就一起创造一个精彩非凡的
So let's all make a memory...
回忆吧
so incredible...
我们能停止时间宝贝儿
we stop time, baby!
抱膝跳
Canonball!
埃梅
Emet!
我还以为大家都能跟我跳进泳池
Kind of expected everyone to just follow me
就像「勇敢的心」那样
into the pool "Braveheart" Style.
我知道他们没跟你跳
Yeah, I knew they weren't with you,
但你的劲头太冲了就...
but you had a lot of momentum going, so...
想要毛巾的举手
Raise hands, those who'd like a towel.
别来烦我好吗
Leave me alone.
-我只想睡觉 -就看看嘛睁开眼
- I just want to sleep. - Just look, open your eyes.
我俩想了想你说的话
Okay, but we thought about what you said,
现在有个东西想让你看看
and we have something we want to show you.
看吧我们做了晚餐
Ta-da! We made dinner.
-你们为我做的 -对呀
- You guys did this for me? - Yeah!
伙计实话说我们从没想过
Look, man, the truth is, we never realized
在我们成为朋友以来
that all this time during our friendship that, uh,
你完全可以把我俩揍得屁滚尿流
you could totally beat the crap out of both of us.
但你并没有这么做
And yet, you didn't.
即便我们真的很欠揍
Even when we really deserved it.
没错
You're right.
你们真的很欠揍
You really did deserve it.
妈咪
Mommy!
开玩笑啦
Just kidding.
-谢谢你们 -来吧
- Thank you. - Yeah, come on.
我不是多愁善感哈
Hey, not to be all mushy or whatever,
但这样真好
but, uh, this is nice.
还记得以前咱们还打算做室友吗
Hey, remember back in the day when we contemplated being roomies?
要合住吗我愿意
Oh, should we do it? I'm in.
-我也愿意 -自从咱们住进来
- I'm in, too! - Well, uh, neither of you
你们俩都没冲过厕所所以我拒绝
have flushed the toilet since we've been here, so pass.
这个理由好有说服力
Eh, that's a valid point.
-我会冲厕所的 -我会帮你冲厕所
- I'll flush the toilet. - I'll flush your toilet.
小笑话
Harmless gag.
小莉我知道这次的度假
Hey, Lil, listen-- I know this wasn't
跟我承诺过的不一样甚至...
the vacation I promised, or...
都不算是度假
even a vacation.
我只是想跟你一起远离一切省的为时已晚
I just wanted to get away with you before it was too late.
什么意思
What do you mean?
你知道的人们常说
You know, people are always
「等你女儿一到青春期
saying things like, "Once your daughter's a teenager,
她就再也不会喜欢你了」
she won't like you anymore."
妈这太离谱了我很爱你的
Mom, that's crazy. I love you.
你为什么要相信那些
And why do you listen to people who tell you