糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E03

Part 2 May 11, 2021, 9:15 a.m.

走了婊♥子♥
Bye, bitch.
可别介意我这么干啊
Don't mind if I do.
莉莉这是你的贴纸吗
Hey, Lily, is that your sticker?
不是
No.
那老妈怎么有的
Huh, then how'd Mom get one?
我今天8点59刷♥卡♥上班了同志们
I got my ID swipe on at 8:59, baby players.
差点就爬楼梯因为我很嘚瑟
Almost took the stairs 'cause I'm nasty.
我可是个准时的家伙
I'm a punctual baller, son.
我今天准时到了不是吗
Oh, I'm all about that on-time life, am I right?
我六点就在这了
I've been here since 6:00.
非常感谢你的辛勤劳动
Thank you very much for that.
非常感激
Appreciate you.
太好了太好了我来了
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm here.
你好美人们
Hi, pretties.
还有百吉饼们
Hello, all the bagels.
太好了你是原味的
Oh, you're so plain.
好了让我看一下草图
Okay, let me see some sketches.
我有大约50张...
Well, I have about 50...
-太棒了 -屋顶的装饰图
- Great. - Of the roof deck.
你说什么
What?
就是我们没法上去的屋顶
You know, the one that we're excluded from.
我想的是那里有一个喷泉
See, I'm thinking that there is a fountain
周围摆满了天鹅绒的躺椅
surrounded by velvet chaise lounges.
我喜欢躺椅
I love a chaise lounge.
又像沙发又像床
Is it a couch? Is it a bed?
我是指工作楚易
I meant for work, Chewey.
那就没有对不起我着迷了
Oh, then no, sorry. I get obsessed.
从我是个孩子起
Ever since I was a kid,
我就会画一些我无法体验的东西
I would sketch things I couldn't experience,
就像毕业舞会或是别的小孩的生日聚会
you know, like prom or other kids' birthday parties
或者是婚姻美满的父母
or parents in a happy marriage.
那些运动员现在肯定上屋顶去了
Bet those jocks are up there right now
聊聊篮球啤酒和触地得分什么的
you know, talking about hoops and beers and touchdowns,
在精致的山洞里玩耍
hanging out in some sick-ass grotto
山洞上挂着牛逼的瀑布
underneath, like, a frickin' waterfall.
像这样
Just--pbbt--oh.
该死的瀑布
Just a friggin' waterfall.
这就是为什么我们楼下无法好好冲厕所
That's why we can't get a good flush going down here.
这有阶级偏见好吗
It's classist, okay?
能好好冲厕所可是一项基本人♥权♥
A good flush is a fundamental human right.
事关尊严
It's about dignity.
伙计们停下行吗
Guys, stop, okay?
听着如果我能准时准点来上班
Listen, if I can get to work like a punctual baller,
你们就可以顺风顺水地拿到屋顶的通行证
you guys can get roof access like sneaky ballers.
但首先要卖♥♥力卖♥♥气地工作
But first get back to work like worker ballers.
你能不能别这样说话
Can you stop talking like that?
不行这样挺有趣的
No. It's fun.
你们听到啃百吉饼的说的话了
Okay, you heard bagel baller.
继续工作
Get back to work.
我要伪造一个工作牌我们要上屋顶了
I'm making a fake badge. We're getting on that roof.
太好了
Yes!
抱歉这声吼忍♥了几十年了
Sorry, that was decades in the making.
工作顺利完成后
After slaying it at work,
我甚至还有时间为我的家人
I even had time to make a nutritious meal
做一顿营养餐来了
for my family...happen.
有热熟食
What, hot deli.
发生什么大事了吗
What is the occasion?
我不知道我猜只是生活顺利
I don't know, just killing it at life, I guess.
多好的妈妈
Oh, what a wonderful mother.
谢谢妈
Thanks, Mom.
不是说你是沃克太太
Not you, Mrs. Walker.
她用花♥园♥种的新鲜蔬菜
She made her family frittatas
给她家人做了菜肉馅煎蛋饼
with fresh veggies from her garden.
为什么她每张照片里都穿着比基尼
Why is she in a bikini in every photo?
我猜她的厨房♥里一定很热
I imagine her kitchen is very hot.
妈我也可以修图修出
You know, Mom, I could Photoshop
我们最美好的生活画面
the best version of us too,
但我不想我们一家子都是骗子
but I don't want us to be a family of liars.
相信我他们的谎言总有一天会遭报应的
Trust me, all their deceit will catch up to them someday.
-妈妈 -什么事
- Mom, Mom. - Yes, yes, yes, yes.
我看到那个标签了妈妈
I know about the sticker, Mom.
天啊我的报应来了
Oh, God, it's caught up to me.
亲爱的听我说我可以解释
Okay, honey, listen to me. I can explain.
你不用解释你保守秘密
You don't have to. You tried to keep it a secret
是为了不让莉莉难过
so Lily wouldn't feel bad.
我成优等生了
I made the honor roll!
没事的话竖个大拇指
Thumbs up if you're okay.
你你你
You, you, you!
你伪造了一张优等生标签
Chh! Pccch! You forged an honor roll sticker.
好吧我是钻了制度的空子
Okay, okay, so I rigged the system a little,
但这个制度太扯了
but the system sucks.
学校给本来就很优秀的孩子
The school is giving free fast passes
提供了免费快速车道
to kids who are already ahead
而我们这些普通人还需要额外多的时间
when it is mediocre people like us who need the extra time,
这你心里清楚
and you know it.
你知道五分钟就可以
Do you know how awesome it was
送他们下车有多棒吗
to have a five-minute drop off?
但这不合适五分钟吗
It's not appropriate to- Five minutes?
送到门口下车
Door to drop-off.
我们不能让路易觉得他获得了
We can't let Louie think that he earned something
他没有获得的东西
that he didn't earn.
这样的父母很差劲的很差劲
Bad parenting, bad.
我知道我会去告诉他真♥相♥
Oh, I know. I will go tell him the truth.
去吧
Okay, good.
五分钟送到门口下车
Wow, five minutes door to drop-off.
我多做了一张标签给你
You know, I did make an extra sticker for you.
-不行 -该死
- No. - Damn it.
儿子我们能不能谈一谈
Hey, buddy, can we just talk for one--
你是在写作业吗
Are you doing homework?
妈妈能当优等生真是太棒了
You know, Mom, being on the honor roll is so cool.
亲爱的关于这个
Yeah, sweetie, about that.
我所有的朋友都有擅长的东西
All my friends are good at stuff.
贾德森会打棒球
Judson plays baseball.
莉亚会画漫画
Leah draws cartoons.
基根演过《傲骨贤妻》
Keegan was on "The Good Wife."
现在我终于找到擅长的东西了就是上学
But now I'm finally good at something too: school!
路易终于为自己感到骄傲了
Louie's finally proud of himself,
但我却要夺走它
and I'm about to take it all away.
多好的妈妈
What a wonderful mother.
别再夸沃克太太了妈
Enough with Mrs. Walker, Mom.
-不是她是你 -你说什么
- Oh, not her. You. - What?
当印度的妈妈为你感到骄傲时
When Indian moms are proud,
她们会喂你甜食
they feed you sweets,
我是这么听说的
or so I've heard.
你儿子上了光荣榜
A son on the honor roll.
你「坐到」了
You're just killing him.
妈是我做到了
It, Mom. I'm killing it.
那我们要继续骗他吗
So we just keep lying to him?
我说的是
All I'm saying is,
我们总认为路易是开悟得晚
we've always treated Louie like some sort of late bloomer.
我们重新给他贴上了优等生的标签
We rebrand him as an honor roll student,
他也受到激励到要当一名优等生
and, look, he's motivated to become one.
所以这跟你妈对你态度变好
And this has nothing to do with the fact
没有任何关系
that your mother's being nice to you?
不不当然没有我是个成年女性
No, no, of course not. I'm a grown woman.
我不需要得到我妈的肯定
I don't need my mother's approval.
这是在干嘛
What's happening?
优秀的爸爸
Number one dad!
好样的女婿
Way to go, chief.
我觉得你妈刚给我小费了
Oh, I think your mom just tipped me.