糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E04

Part 5 May 11, 2021, 9:15 a.m.

楚易你把开襟羊毛衫弄缩水了
Chewey, you shrunk your cardigan,
但这是你自己动手做的
but you did it all by yourself.
诺曼想想你没有跟妈妈们视频
And Norman, think of all the things you've seen and done
自己看到和做到的所有事情
without having to FaceTime your moms.
我去了外面
I went outside.
你都去了外面
You went...outside.
我把所有积蓄投到了
Me, I just sunk my life savings
马克·鲁法洛的虚拟货币
into Mark Ruffalo's cryptocurrency.
昨天有那么半秒钟
Yesterday, for half a second,
我身家高达四百万美元
I was worth $4 million.
今天一无所有
Today? Nothing.
但明天也许呢谁知道呢
But tomorrow, oof. Maybe. Who knows?
重点是「妈妈大清洗」在起作用
The point is the mom cleanse is working.
我们要继续好吗
We're in this baby, okay?
肥宅说到做到
The pig man has spoken.
我们来了
Here we go.
我们很开明宽容很爱我们的儿子
We're being open, accepting, and loving to our son.
如果我见到熟人就立马逃跑
And if I see anyone I know, I'm bolting.
她去哪了这不是她
Where is she? That's not her.
他们杀了乔治娜
They killed Georgina.
幸运的是我们在不远处找到了乔治娜
Luckily we found out that Georgina hadn't gone far.
她跑不了多远她可是个人偶
Well, she couldn't go far. She's a doll.
就像戴维的塔可钟杯子
And, much like David's Taco Bell cup,
她也有过辉煌的日子
she'd seen better days.
-妈 -什么
- Mom. - Yeah.
-爸 -什么
- Dad? - Yeah.
请给我们一点隐私
A little privacy, please.
-当然伙计 -没问题
- Oh, yep. Sure, bud. - Yep. Sure.
我儿子爱上个不会眨眼的模特
He said casually as his son declared
我却回答得如此云淡风轻
his love for something that doesn't blink.
乔治娜我的爱人我暗恋着你
"Georgina, my love, I loved you from afar.
我觉得你也在关注我
I think you were watching me too."
天啊从前让他学会淋浴
God, it was so much easier back
可比这要简单多了
when we just had to get him to take a shower.
可不只要两美元和一颗棉花糖
Right? I mean, two bucks and a marshmallow,
-他就自己洗去了 -我知道
- he's in the shower. - I know.
很快他洗澡时
Pretty soon when he takes a shower,
就会做些奇奇怪怪的事情
it's gonna be weird and something else.
我们可不会为这种事给他棉花糖的
And we don't give marshmallows for that.
不会的
No. No.
当我们孩子迈出重要一步时
I mean, I'm always proud
我总是为他们感到骄傲但是...
when our kids hit a milestone, but...
这感觉像我们在和什么道别一样
This feels like we're saying good-bye to something.
他再也不是我的宝贝了
He's not our baby anymore.
我明白
I know.
-那有只老鼠我们该走了 -糟了
- That's a rat. We should go. - Oh, no.
过来这边
Come on this way.
-快点 -你不需要知道为什么
- Come on. - You don't need to know why.
-快远离垃圾箱 -不是因为乔治娜
- Get away from the dumpster. - It's not about Georgina.
只是垃圾箱里别的东西
It's a separate dumpster thing.
真是只大老鼠
Oh, that's a big rat.
你还好吗儿子
How you doing, bud?
我没事从远处看
I'm fine. From far away,
乔治娜看起来很真实
Georgina seemed really real.
但靠近看她有双死人眼
But up close, she has dead eyes.
我觉得我会做噩梦
Yeah, I think I'm gonna have a nightmare.
宝贝
Hey, honey?
你跟乔治娜谈过了我们很高兴
We're so glad that you talked to Georgina.
但学校里有没有哪个女生
But is there maybe a girl at school
你想跟她聊聊呢
you want to talk to?
有塔莎
Yeah. Tasha.
但她让我很紧张
But...she makes me nervous.
有时候她跟我打招呼
Sometimes she says hi,
我不知道该说什么
but I don't know what to say,
就跑到厕所里去
so I run to the bathroom.
躲进厕所的老招数
The old run into the bathroom trick.
一定是遗传的
That must be genetic.
我以前也常常这么干
You know what, that's what I used to do.
看到没这才是
See? Now this is the sweet
我抱着刚出生的路易时
rite-of-passage moment I hoped for
想要的甜蜜的成人仪式
when I held little newborn Louie.
天啊那只老鼠在跟着我们吗
Oh, God, is that rat following us?
我要跑了
Okay, I'm gonna run away.
-快跑 -走走走
- Go. Go. - Move, move, move.
跟人偶的有爱见面如何
So, how was the love fest with the dummy?
你准备见她的父母了吗
Are you going to meet her parents?
没事的妈
It's fine, Mom.
路易现在喜欢塔莎了
Louie's in love with Tasha now.
塔莎又是什么一个可怜的浮标吗
Now what's Tasha? A pool floatie?
当家长可不容易不是吗
Parenting isn't so easy, is it?
是啊
No.
只是我永远都不知道
It's just I make these choices every day,
我每天做的这些决定是否正确
and I never know if they're gonna be right,
直到孩子们长大成人开始跟我发脾气
until the kids grow up and are mad at me.
就像你对我发火
Like you're mad at me
因为我没对你进行重要的性教育
for not giving you some big sex talk.
但今天是你的幸运日
But... today is your lucky day.
我现在就教给你
I'm giving it to you now.
好吧我听着
All right. Let's hear it.
当一个男人和女人坠入爱河时
When a man and a woman love each other,
他们会脱掉衣服
they take off their clothes
然后造出一个不懂感恩的孩子
and they create an ungrateful child
让他们永远无法忘记
who will never let them forget
他们犯下的任何错误
any of their mistakes.
她就是这样
There she is.
看着孩子成长是件苦乐参半的事
It's bittersweet watching your kid grow up.
但有些时候
But at some point
你就是要放手
you just have to let go.
就是因为你我家儿子
So you're the reason Griffy-poo
想要自己管钱
wants to manage his own money.
只有妈咪可以支配钱
Only Mommy makes money moves.
我还以为特里斯特拉姆死了
I thought that Tristram was dead.
谁
Who?
楚易
Chewey.
他没有在「妈咪抱抱时间」出现
He didn't show up for his mummy cuddle time.
就是你让诺曼不要
Are you the one that told our Norman
打电♥话♥给他妈咪吗
not to call his mamas?
我是个和平主义者
I'm a pacifist.
但没有宝贝儿子就没有和平
But no baby boy, no peace.
我会把你打得很惨
I will tear your ass up.
妈妈们
Moms!
-宝贝 -我还是快点闪吧
- Baby! - I'll just go!
你怎么了来了
What are you doing here?
你都不想我们不给我们打电♥话♥
You didn't miss us enough to call.
你真强壮
You're so strong!
楚易
Chewey.
你妈真辣老天
Your mom is hot. Oh, man.
我想你
I missed you.
这真是解答了好多我对他们的困惑
This answers so many questions I had about them.