糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E06

Part 1 May 11, 2021, 9:15 a.m.

糟心生活
第一季第六集
我是个十足的伪善者
作为家长总希望把最好的特质遗传给孩子
As a parent, you hope to pass on your best traits.
我不想自吹自擂但是
I don't want to brag, but
莉莉漂亮聪明...对不起
Lily's pretty, smart-- sorry, sorry--
聪明漂亮有创造力善良
smart, pretty, creative, and kind.
女士们要一起玩绳球吗
Hey ladies. Up for some tetherball?
不要因为我们不是在上幼儿园
No, 'cause we're not in kindergarten.
好吧如果你们改变主意的话
Okay, but if you change your mind,
球就在那里
the ball's not going anywhere.
绑在洞旁边
It's tied to a pole.
「要玩绳球吗」
"Wanna play tetherball?"
真是个怪人
What a weirdo.
嘿我听到了
Hey, I heard that.
见鬼她遗传了我刻薄的一面
Oh crap, she got my mean side.
好了我要去撬我继母的车锁了
All right I gotta go key my stepmom's car.
世界和平
Deuces.
莉莉你对弟弟那么刻薄是非常不对的
Okay, Lily, it is not okay to be mean to your brother like that.
妈妈是他在烦我们他太讨人厌了
Mom, he was bothering us. He's so annoying.
刚刚莉莉和她的朋友索菲娅
Well, Lily and her friend, Sophia,
对路易太没礼貌了
were just really rude to Louie.
莉莉我对你太失望了
Lily, I'm disappointed.
真的是和索菲娅吗
And, really, with Sophia?
她看起来是你比较友好的一个朋友了
She seems like one of your nicer friends.
刚刚出去的时候还称赞了我的衬衫
She just complimented my shirt on her way out.
她是这么说的吗
Yeah, did she say it like this:
「好漂亮的衬衫」
"Nice shirt."
哦我现在懂了是的
Oh, I see it now. Yeah.
-我太天真了 -听着莉莉
- I hate myself. - Okay listen, Lil.
很抱歉不能因为别人讨厌
I'm sorry but you don't get to be mean
你就变得刻薄
just 'cause someone's annoying.
一个星期不准让朋友过来玩你要和路易一起玩
No friends over for a week. You're hanging with Louie.
你得友好点尤其是对家人
You have to be nice, especially to family.
好吧我的生活糟透了
Fine. My life sucks!
你做人真难啊
Ah, it's so hard to be you.
-刚刚的合作教育太完美了 -太完美了
- Hey, that was good co-parenting. - That was good.
让我们举起这两大杯红酒庆祝一下
Let's celebrate with these gigantic glasses
-我刚倒的 -等一下
- of wine I just poured us. - Well then,
我先把孩子放下
let me put the baby down.
对把孩子放下
Yeah, put the baby down.
埃梅你的家人来了
Hey, Emet, your folks are here.
-好的 -埃梅
- Kay. - Emet.
-什么 -过来快快快
- What? - Come here. Now-now-now-now,
快来快来
now-now-now--come here.
-什么什么 -你看你看
- What-what-what-what? - Look, look, look.
不会吧
Oh, God no.
是我讨人厌的表妹莉娜
Oh, it's my annoying cousin, Leena.
她浑身上下都让我头疼
Everything about her makes me crazy.
我知道你在我们的婚礼上还躲着她呢
Yes, I know. You hid from her at our own wedding.
行了你知道该做什么躲起来
Okay, you know what to do. Hide.
-你说什么 -现在就躲起来
- What? - Hide now.
有人吗
Hello?
埃梅你在哪呢
Emet, where are you?
天呐你们在卧室里干坏事吗
Oh my God, are you making naughty in the bedroom?
那样就太尴尬了因为你♥爸♥妈也来了
That would be so awkward 'cause your parents are here!
好了我们要进来了
Okay, we're gonna come in.
哈喽
Hello!
是的我躲起来了没错我刚告诉莉莉
Yes, I'm hiding, and, yes, I told Lily she doesn't
不能因为别人讨厌她就变得刻薄
get to be mean just because someone is annoying.
但是我表妹真的太讨人厌了
But my cousin is so annoying.
埃梅别这么无礼
Emet? Don't be rude.
埃梅我们看到你了
Emet, we can see you.
宝贝在这呢
Hi. Oh, there's the baby.
原来他跑这来了刚刚都找不到他
There he went. We couldn't find him.
-嘿表姐 -嗨
- Hey, cuz. - Hi.
快过来抱抱
Get inside these.
我不...好吧让我们拥抱一下
Oh, I don't-- Okay. Let's do it that way.
天呐我的生活糟透了
Aw man, my life sucks.
莉娜太让人火大了
Leena's so irritating.
我为什么要有孩子
Why did I have kids?
现在我只能做个好榜样
Now I have to be a good example.
不管怎么说这个小家伙是我新收养的
Anyway, so this little guy is my latest rescue.
我给它取名高布伦因为他虽然很丑
I call him Goldblum because he's ugly
女人们却还是由于某种原因很爱他
but women love him for some reason.
我真希望可以把一个成年女人
I wish you could leave an adult woman
装在篮子里放在教堂的台阶上
in a basket on a church step.
如果你的表妹莉娜
Well, if your cousin Leena is
有你整个早上说的一半讨人厌
half as annoying as you talking about her
我就支持你
all morning, then I'm with you.
是啊埃梅你妈只是逼你
Yeah, Emet, your mom is forcing you
让她在你家待一晚
to have her over for one evening.
高布伦的妈妈想要吃了它
Goldblum's mom tried to eat him.
你们还是没明白好吗
You guys don't get it, okay?
我需要做一个友好的人
I need to be a nice person,
像布鲁斯·班纳对莉莉来说
like, Bruce Banner for Lily
但是莉娜把我逼成了浩克
and Leena turns me into the Hulk.
尤其是她尖锐的人身攻击比如
Especially with her passive aggressive comments like,
「你的脸真的越来越老了」
"You're really aging into your face."
只是一顿晚饭假装友好就行了
It's one dinner, just fake being nice.
花♥花♥公♥子♥们一直是这么做的所谓「魅力」
Dudes do it all the time. It's called, "Charm."
恶心对了你们是怎么做的
Gross. Also, how do you do that?
想要首次约会成功
Well, you just need to follow the guy rules
你只需要遵守几条男人守则
for a good first date.
第一条
Rule number one:
她讲的所有笑话你都要笑
Always laugh at her jokes,
即使开的是你的玩笑
even if they're at your expense.
是的你说得对
Yeah, you're right.
我的胡子看着像是用阴毛粘上去的
My beard does look like glued-on pubes.
-太好笑了 -第二条
- That's so funny. - Number two.
要是你在她讲故事的时候走了神
If you ever space out during her stories,
你只需要记住一句话
they only three words you need to know are,
「你真不容易」
"That sounds hard."
你语气越温柔就越像你认真听了一样
The softer you say it, the more paying attention-y you sound.
第三你要表现得好像很在乎她的兴趣
And three: act like you care about her interests.
你每买♥♥一双鞋子
"Oh, when you buy a pair of shoes, they'll give"
他们就会捐一双鞋子给穷困儿童吗
"another pair to a kid in a third world country?"
这肯定假不了
"I'm sure they actually do that."
-你真不容易 -等等
- That sounds hard. - Oh, hang on.
-你真不容易 -你真不容易
- That sounds hard. - That sounds hard.
-你真不容易 -你真的太不容易了
- That sounds hard. - That sounds so hard.
你们就是俩反♥社♥会♥变♥态♥
You guys are all sociopaths.
而今晚我也变成了这样
And just for tonight, so am I.
因为这样我就能做一个和善的人
So I can be a kind person
也能给我的孩子们做个榜样了
and a role model for my kids.
莉莉你想调魔药吗
Hey, Lily, do you wanna make potions?
行啊有没有那种会把你变不见的药水
Sure, do you have one that will make you disappear?
莉莉和我可以直接用眼神交流
Lily and I can speak to each other just through a look.
还想不想留着你的手♥机♥
那就对你弟弟好点
那好吧
好吧路易魔药听起来还不错
Okay, Louie. Potions sound cool.
太好了我们需要蝾螈的眼睛
Awesome. We'll need the eye of newt
以及处♥女♥龙的血液
and the blood of a virgin dragon.
也可以直接用鸡蛋和辣酱来做
Or we can just use an egg and hot sauce.
莱娜来了
Ugh, Leena's here.
哪里能找到能让我冷静的魔药
Where's my calming potion?
你好啊埃梅纳姆
Hey, Em'n'Em.
你看起来真不错
You're looking good.
-多谢 -你真瘦啊
- Thank you. - You are so skinny.
你没事吧
Are you okay?
天哪你真的没事吗
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
你妈妈都和我说了