糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E10

Part 3 May 11, 2021, 9:16 a.m.

但如果她发现我的公婆在这我就要有麻烦了
And I have a problem if she finds out my in-laws are in town.
你送他们去赌场玩还刷我们的信♥用♥卡♥是吗
So you sent them to a casino with our credit card?
戴维我不能让我妈毁掉这一切
Okay, David, I could not let my mother ruin all of this.
但他们刚在赌场内的药店花了一百二十美金
Oh, and they just spent $120 at the in-casino CVS.
想象一下那账单会有多长
Imagine how long that receipt's gonna be.
求你别让唯一
Oh, please don't make me disappoint
为我骄傲的妈妈对我失望
the one mother who's actually proud of me.
我得到牛胸肉的配方了
I got the brisket recipe.
你的好日子已经过太久了
You've had it too good for too long,
-所以你不知道感恩 -我也懂感恩
- so you don't appreciate it. - I do too.
我的整个酒吧戒律演讲就是关于感恩
My whole bar mitzvah speech was about appreciation,
我父母说那是他们听过的最精彩的
and my parents said it was one of the greatest speeches
演讲之一了
they have ever...
好我明白你的意思了
Okay, I hear your point.
如果我妈拖我下水
Yeah, and if my mother takes me down,
你也要和我一起
you're going down with me,
然后你的父母就会发现
and then your parents are gonna find out you're not
你不是你装出来的那个完美犹太男孩
the perfect Jewish golden boy that you pretend to be.
你现在站在高台上摔下来会很疼的
You are on a high pedestal, man, and it is a long way down.
埃梅
Emet.
我也不想事情变成那样
Yeah, I do not want that to happen.
-我可是我妈妈的杰作 -很好
- I'm my mother's masterpiece. - Great.
那我们按原计划走给她五百美金的上限
So let's keep up the ruse and just cap her at $500.
要不然650美金我很喜欢我的高台
Okay. How about $650? I really like my pedestal.
-成交 -好的
- Fair. - Yeah.
*让我们点燃烛台*
* Let's start lighting that menorah *
*开始吧光明节已到来*
* Let's start, Hanukkah is here*
*欢乐如圣诞八夜乐不歇*
* It's like Christmas, but seven nights more *
*烛光照永昼*
* The lights will burn on *
*再长三斤肉*
* The pounds we'll put on *
看一切进行的多顺利
See how great this is going?
我把我父母送走是正确的
I was right to send my parents away.
我只是很遗憾你的父母不在
Oh, I just feel so sad that your parents aren't here.
我懂我懂
Oh, oh, I know, I know,
但是他们没法改变他们的计划
but they just couldn't change their schedule.
他们也想在这儿的
They so wanted to be here,
但是你知道印度人对时间很严格
but you know Indians and their strict concept of time.
我不知道
No, I don't.
但你知道吗新几内亚岛上有几个部落
But do you know there are tribes in New Guinea
那里的女人会吃她们死去丈夫的尸体
where the women eat their dead husbands' bodies
以得到他们的男子气概这可怕的世界
to gain their virility-- what a world.
这我可不知道
I did not know that.
埃梅我感觉
Emet, you know, it seems like
婚礼之后我们很少见到你的父母
we've just seen your parents so little since the wedding.
也许我们应该给他们打个视频电♥话♥
Maybe we should FaceTime them.
等等等等我得涂点口红
Wait, wait, wait, I got to get some lipstick.
我不觉得
I don't think…
快换个话题
Quick, change the subject.
你知道我一直后悔什么吗
Uh, you know what I have always regretted?
我们没能办一个犹太式的婚礼
Is that we didn't have a Jewish wedding.
我们没能踩碎玻璃杯
So we didn't get to break a glass.
我也没在椅子上被抬起来
I didn't get lifted on a chair.
这些听起来都很有趣
It all just sounds so fun, you know?
想做的话永远不会晚
Well, it's never too late.
戴维
David.
表演时间到了
It's showtime.
我们现在就办
We'll do it right now.
这正是我想要的
That's what I wanted.
如果我现在死去你就是我的最爱
If I die, you're my favorite.
-一二三 -小心
- One,Two, three. - Careful.
*不要停把椅子抬起来*
* Don't stop lifting up the chair *
*不要停*
* Don't stop... *
-我是下一个 -不我是下一个
- I'm next! - No, I'm next!
-好吧你下一个上
- Okay, you get to go next.
*不要停把椅子举起来*
* Don't stop lifting up the chair *
*不要停*
* Don't stop*
*举起*
* Lifting up the--*
祝您平安
Shalom.
宇宙的力量真神奇
The power of the universe--
我刚还在说要是能见到你有多好
I was just saying how lovely it would be to see you.
我们到院子里聊会天吧
Let's go to the patio and catch up.
埃梅漂亮姑娘我能借张毯子吗
Oh, Emet, doll, could I bother for a blanket?
我可不想感冒
Don't want a chill.
当然我待会带过去一张
Oh, yes, absolutely. I'll bring one out.
好的
Okay.
你从来没给过我毯子
You never give me blankets.
我无时无刻不在发冷
And I'm constantly having a chill.
好吧这我可帮不了你妈妈
Okay, well, I can't help you with that, Mother.
这是从你内心散发的冷
It's coming from your insides.
总而言之宝拉·阿巴杜怎么样
Anyway, how was Paula Abdul?
不知道
I don't know.
我们提前走了去看一场更好看的戏
We left early for a much better show--
是我们女儿主演的直播版《燕特尔》
our daughter starring in a live version of "Yentl."
好吧我不知道你在说什么
Okay, I don't know what you're talking about.
你当然知道
Oh, yes, you do.
光明节快乐
Happy Hanukkah!
给你毯子来点酥饼吧
Here's a blanket. Oh, have some rugelach.
玛雅对不起打断一下
Maya, sorry to interrupt,
但是你这辈子
but in your life,
有吃过哪怕一片酥饼吗
have you ever had a flakier rugelach?
没有
I have not.
好吧
All right, fine.
我们不就是给戴维的父母演了出戏吗
So we put on a little show for David's parents.
这有错吗这让艾琳很高兴
Is that so wrong? It makes Irene happy.
你会为了艾琳装出这些但不愿意为我装
Well, you fake it for Irene, but you don't for me?
是的妈妈因为她会对此感激
Yeah, Ma, because she appreciates it.
我可不知道你从没感受到我的感激之情
Oh. I didn't know that you don't feel appreciated by me
-但是感受到了艾琳的 -是的
- but you do by Irene. - Yeah, I do.
她每天会对我说六七句赞美的话
I mean, she says, like, six or seven nice things to me a day.
她有肿瘤吗
Does she have a tumor?
我朋友塞西尔和我说了些奇怪的事
My friend Cecile says weird things,
而她得了肿瘤
and she has a tumor.
好了孩子我听到你说的了
Okay, beta. I heard your words.
我会考虑的
And I'll think on it.
谢谢
Thank you.
现在趁着节日精神
Now, in the spirit of the holidays,
我们就不能假装是个很幸福的犹太家庭吗
can't we just go pretend to be a good Jewish family?
好吧伪光明节快乐
Fine. Happy fake Hanukkah.
我接受了好吧
I'll take it. Okay.
谢谢亲爱的
Oh, thank you, darling.
我给你拿了杯茶
I brought you some tea.
来吧玛雅
Come on, Maya.
埃梅让孩子浸没在他们的犹太血统里又能怎样
So what if Emet's immersing the kids in their Jewish roots?
这对他们有好处
It's good for them.
虽然我们没有很勤奋地
And even we haven't been that diligent
教他们印度文化
about teaching them our Hindu culture.
很多课程都是在超♥市♥的香料架前
Most of our lessons are in front of the spice rack
完成的
at the supermarket.
老头子
Oh, Googaloo.
你总是能看到事情积极的一面
You always see the bright side of things.
但是我在想
But I've been thinking.
并且决定了
And I've decided
这是个文化战争
this is a culture war.
我一定要赢
And I must win.
你确定这和埃梅太喜欢艾琳无关吗
Are you sure this isn't about Emet's affection for Irene?
好吧
Okey dokey.
老婆开心生活幸福
Happy wife, happy life.
离光明节派对只剩几天了
The Hanukkah party was only days away,
我要赴汤蹈火让艾琳为我骄傲
and I was gonna go above and beyond to make Irene proud,
从牛胸肉开始
starting with the brisket.