糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E07

Part 2 May 11, 2021, 9:15 a.m.

等等你记得它是什么样子吗
Wait. Do you remember what it looks like?
对它的样子我记得清清楚楚
Yes. I remember exactly what it looked like.
感谢老天
Oh, thank God.
太好了能画给我吗
Great. Will you draw it for me?
-没问题 -谢谢
- Yeah, sure. - Thank you.
真够快的
That was fast.
「它就是一副某女人要倒霉的样子」
"It looks like a woman who is screwed."
纪念日快乐亲爱的
Happy anniversary, dear.
你们都在太好了我需要你们的帮助
Oh, great. You guys are in. Listen, I need your help.
我整个周末都在打扫卫生
I spent the whole weekend cleaning,
大家心知肚明这种事最糟心了
which, I think we can all agree, is the worst.
怎么怎么了
What, what, what?
除非是像格拉迪斯一样有天赋
Oh, unless you're talented at it like Gladys,
那就该以打扫为职业
and then you should do it professionally
信手拈来
and follow your bliss.
该死
Damn it. Ugh.
好了我需要你们帮我翻找这些
Okay, look, I just need you guys to help me
装满我大学物品的箱子
go through these boxes of my old college stuff.
戴维送给我一条特别的项链
David gave me this special necklace,
我忘了是什么样的我找不到了
and I have no idea what it looks like, so I can't find it.
我需要线索快快快
I need clues. Go. Go, go, go.
来看看这可怜的一箱回忆里有什么
Let's see what's in this sad-ass box of memories.
第一个美术课素描
Number one-- we got art-class sketches.
不不不把它放下
Oh, no, no, no. Put that down.
这可能是箱子里我唯一在乎的东西
That's probably the one thing in the box I do care about.
意思是你不在乎这位戴着平顶帽
Oh, you don't care about this guy in a porkpie hat
吹着单簧管的老兄
playing the clarinet?
我在乎因为我嫁给他了
Oh, I do, 'cause I married him.
上面是戴维和他的摇摆乐队
That is David and his college swing band,
大老爹和厄运
"Big Papa D and the Jinx."
大老爹和厄运
低谷中爆发
跟我说说是他的马尾辫还是链式钱包
So, tell me, was it his ponytail or his chain wallet
让你觉得这是「理想老公」
that made you think, "Ooh, husband material"?
你懂什么楚易你个单身狗
What do you know, Chewey? You're alone.
-无话可说 -惊喜
- Checkmate. - Oh, boy. Jackpot.
什么你找到线索了吗
What, what? Did you find a clue?
我看到写了75页的
I found what appears to be 75 pages
《嗜血佐那·圣杜布瓦的故事》
of "Bloodlust: A Zuzhana St. DuBois Story."
你是打算写一本很烂的吸血鬼小说吗
Were you trying to write a trashy vampire novel?
不那是英国文学课的作业
No, that was for English lit.
他咬进她脖子上跳动的血管
"As he penetrated her pulsating jugular,
她想如果夜晚是这般美好
she thought, if this is how the night would be,
那她将不再需要日光
she no longer needed daylight."
这是一个政♥治♥隐喻
It's a political metaphor, so--
拔出他非凡的阴♥茎♥ 她低声说
"Unsheathing his immortal manhood, she whispered,
「这与政♥治♥无关来吧」
'This has nothing to do with politics. Take me.'"
-隐喻的一部分 -这有一张你的照片
- Part of the metaphor. - Hey, here's a picture of you
-戴着一条项链 -什么让我看看
- wearing a necklace. - What? Let me see.
我的天啊就是这条项链我记起来了
Oh, my God. That's the necklace. I remember it now.
天啊戴维用他从海滩上捡的鹅卵石
Oh, my God. David had it made for me from a pebble
给我做的项链
that he found on the beach.
我不知道这条项链对他如此意义重大
I had no idea this necklace was so special to him.
天啊我是个坏人我要弥补过错
Oh, God, I'm a monster. I got to do the right thing.
伪造一条项链然后说谎瞒着他
Have a fake necklace made and lie, lie, lie.
好吧
Yeah.
-到我们了上吧 -上场
- Oh, we got next. Let's go. - Let's go.
等一下
Hey, hold up, one second.
我只是想问一下感情上的事
Just--uh, I need a real quick emotional check-in.
别啊伙计们等一会
Oh, no. Hey, fellas, give us a second.
你们试没试过看着睡在身边的人
Do you guys ever look over at the person sleeping next to you
然后想「这个陌生人是谁」
and just think, "Who is this stranger?"
当然我喜欢跟陌生人睡觉
Sure, I love sleeping with strangers.
所以我离婚了
That's why I got divorced.
怎么了兄弟
What's going on, man?
有时候我觉得埃梅和我非常不一样
Sometimes I just think me and Emet are so different.
你知道那句话「男人来自火星」
You know what they say-- "Men are from Mars,"
我们上场吧
and...let's play.
等一下我曾经用一块石头给她做了一条项链
Wait, hold on. I made her a necklace
为了庆祝我们的海滩纪念日
out of a stone I found to commemorate our beach-aversary.
等等等一下
Wait, wait, wait. Hold. Hold a second.
你们还庆祝海滩纪念日吗
You celebrate your beach-aversary?
对啊
Yeah.
拜托这是我人生中听说过
Come on, that's the most romantic thing
-最浪漫的事情了 -对吧
- I ever heard in my life. - Right? Okay.
这是我送她的第一份贵重礼物
That is the first big present I ever got her,
我都不知道她喜不喜欢
and I don't even know if she likes it.
她从来没戴过
I mean, she never wears the thing.
兄弟老实说那项链不见了
Bro, hard truth time-- that thing is lost.
永远找不到已经上天堂了懂吗
Gone forever. It's with Biggie and 'Pac now, right?
说到这个我们的比赛就要输了
Talking about losing, we're about to lose this court.
我们可以上场了吗
Can we play?
戴维作为你的球友也许轮不到我说
Dave, this may not be my place just as your basketball friend,
但不论是作为老公还是作为男人
but you wife undervalues you
你老婆都低估了你
as a husband and a man.
没错谢谢你
Right. Thank you.
因为这就是我现在的感受
'Cause that is how it is feeling right now.
如果她给我送了那条项链
I mean, if she had given me that necklace,
我会时时刻刻都记得它放在哪
I would know exactly where it is at all times.
不是在我脖子上
It's either around my neck,
就是在储物柜里
or it's in my locker 'cause I'm getting
因为我要做泰式热石按♥摩♥
a combination Thai, hot-stone massage.
这不仅关于项链
This thing isn't about the necklace.
还有关害怕你爱她
It's about the fear that you love her
多过她爱你
more than she loves you.
可能放在抽屉或哪里了
Or it can be in a drawer somewhere.
-我们可以上场了吗 -不不他说得对
- Can we play? - No, no. He's right.
我对她太宽容了
I've been taking it way too easy on her.
-我要让她摊牌 -没错
- I got to call her bluff. - Do it.
-受益匪浅谢谢 -加油兄弟
- Good talk. Thank you. - Man up, baby.
谁在乎
Who cares?
我找到妈妈以前的日记了
I found Mom's old journals.
我们根据它在纪念日派对上演一出戏
We can use them to do a play at the anniversary party--
「老爸老妈的浪漫史」
"Mom and Dad, A Love Story."
这比我做的贺卡好多了
That is much better than the card I've been working on.
我老是忘了先剪后粘
Yeah, I always forget-- it's cut, then paste.
我会先写个剧本
I'll get started on the script.
猜猜我做了什么我做了跟戴维给我的
Guess what I did. I had an exact replica made
完全一样的复♥制♥品还有备用的
of the necklace David gave me and a backup
以防我以后又忘记了
in case future me forgets it existed.
化解危机保卫婚姻撕开饼干
So crisis averted, marriage saved, cookie sleeve opened.
你的婚姻建立在谎言上
Your marriage is built on lies.
但别担心弥天大谎难被揭穿
But don't worry. Oh, they're big, strong lies.
篮球打得如何
How was basketball?
今天比赛有点激烈
Kind of intense today.
我们的纪念日将近我觉得很浪漫
I'm just feeling so romantic with our anniversary coming up,
我觉得也许
and I think that maybe
你可以戴上我们特别的项链
you should put on our special necklace
我像《泰坦尼克号♥》里一样给你画一幅
and I should draw you Titanic-style.
那是艘沉船
It's a sinking ship.
-没看到她在那 -很抱歉
- Did not see her there. - Yeah, sorry about that.
你可以...
You could've--
无论如何宝贝听起来很性感
Anyway, hey, uh, baby, that sounds so hot, but...
但我把项链拿去清洗了
I'm having the necklace cleaned.
你只能画裸体的我
So you're just going to have to draw me naked.
好吗
Okay?
-不我可以等 -什么
- No, I think I'll wait. - What?
但是清洗真的会让金边裂开
Yeah, but that cleaning is really going to make that line of gold pop.
什么照片上的项链没有金边
What? There wasn't a line of gold in that stupid picture.
一定是鹅卵石的另一面
Ah, must've been on the other side of the damn pebble.
没错我喜欢金边
Oh, yes, I love that line of gold.