糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E05

Part 4 May 11, 2021, 9:15 a.m.

Do I look smarter?
没有你看起来像图书馆黄♥片♥的开头
Uh...no. You look like the beginning of library porn.
这么想也不算太糟糕
Which, you know-- not so bad.
你准备好了吗我没法再拖住那位记者了
Are you ready? I can't stall that reporter any longer.
我准备好了准备好去
Yeah, I'm ready. Ready to inspire
鼓励下一代当车展模特了
the next generation of auto-show models.
好吧最新计划管他呢
Ah! Okay, all right! New plan, forget it.
最新计划变回以前的样子
New plan! Putting it all back in
假装这是女权主义课程
and pretending it is a feminist lesson. Boom!
我们走
Let's go.
拿下她们
Go get 'em, I think.
宝贝你忘了戴你的大假胸
And sweetie, you forgot your big, fake boobs!
凯伦很高兴又见到你
Karen, lovely to see you again.
我想了很久什么是最适合
I thought for a long time about the perfect thing
对你们这些年轻女性说的
to say to you young women.
但是我意识到光说还不够
But then, I realized words aren't enough,
所以我打扮成了这样
so I went with this.
打扮成这样表示什么呢
And what is "this" saying?
是什么呢是什么呢是什么呢
Hmm? What? What? What? What?
这表示着
It is saying
你们不需要穿成这样
you do not have to dress like this
也能取得成功
to get ahead.
-谢谢你 -这我们知道
- Thank you. - Yeah, we know that.
你能给我们一些更好的指导吗
Can you give us a better insight?
因为我们在脏乱差的地方
'Cause we sold candy bars in some
卖♥♥了很多糖果才凑够钱来这儿
really sketchy places to be here.
我甚至看到有个人被刀捅了
I saw a guy get knifed.
提示你一下这个记者正在
Umm--quick reminder that reporter is live-tweeting
推特上直播所以请告诉我
all of this, so please tell me that
你还有别的话要说
you have something else to say.
我有
I do...yeah.
让我想想
Just give me a second.
老天我要搞砸了
Oh, God, I'm blowing this.
我本该当一个榜样的
I'm supposed to be a role model,
一名让这些姑娘敬仰的成功女性
an accomplished woman that these girls can look up to.
好吧准备好有力发言
Okay, powerful statement coming
三二没话可说
in three, two--nope.
好吧好吧
Oooh! Okay, okay, okay, fine!
去年我拍了张很烂的照片
Last year, I took an awful picture,
这些人都嘲笑我
and the guys at work made fun of me, okay?
我今年就是想拍张好的
And I just wanted a good one this year.
当然我很想能成为一名成功的女性
And yes, I care about being an accomplished woman.
但是我也注重我的外表
But I also care about how I look,
而且我并不觉得
and I just don't think that I should
我应该为此感到难过
have to feel bad about that.
我能理解你
I feel you.
有人拍到了我穿着上捡玉米的照片
Someone got a picture of me picking corn out of my braces,
而现在我成了「周一惨状」的表情包
and now I'm a "Mondays be like..." meme.
我报道一场火灾时眉毛被烧掉了
My eyebrows got burnt off when I was covering a fire.
我在所有婚礼照片上都好像莱克斯·卢瑟一样
I looked like Lex Luthor in a dress in all my wedding pictures.
真是太不幸了太不幸了
I am so sorry. So sorry.
谢谢你们能理解我
Oh, just -- thank you for understanding.
我们来拥抱吧
Oh! Aww, let's hug.
你们现在摸到的是全身弹性塑身衣
Okay, what you're all feeling are full-body Spanx.
-我必须得问 -问吧
- I just have to ask. - Yes.
有人让你觉得你必须得穿成这样吗
Did someone here make you feel like you had to dress like this?
有的有的有的
Actually, yeah, yeah, yeah.
那个人有胡子的那个
That guy, mustache.
其实不是他但是他是格瑞夫
Okay, he didn't. But it's Griff.
所以接下来会发生什么我都可以接受
So, I'm okay with whatever happens next.
怎么了小姑娘们有什么需要吗
Oh, hey! What's up little ladies? Any requests?
你真令人讨厌正因为有你这样的人存在
You're revolting! Men like you
我们才要改变这个世界
are the reason we're changing the world.
总有一天我们会经营这家公♥司♥
We're gonna run this company one day.
你最好先习惯起来
So you better get used to it!
看见了吗我就知道
Huh. See that? I knew I had something
我能为你的学生们做点贡献诺曼
to contribute to your mentees, Norman.
没有我这样的男人就不会有女权运动
Without guys like me, there is no women's movement.
是我激励了他们我是英雄
I'm like--I inspire them. I'm the hero,
因为我是个大反派
because I'm the villain. Yeah!
-这个人太了不起了 -太可怕了
- Wow, that guy is incredible. - Horrific.
-可怕 -可怕
- Horrific. - Horrific.
那时候我们为什么对自己这么苛刻
Why were we so hard on ourselves back then?
看看我的皮肤我真想舔一口
Look at my skin. I wanna lick it.
我舔过口感不错
I did, and it was great.
看看这个帅气的笨蛋
Oh...look at that handsome schmuck.
他想泡谁就能泡谁
He probably could have gotten any girl he wanted--
但我想泡你
I mean, that girl was you.
而且我泡了
And so, he did.
-你知道最难过的是什么吗 -什么
- You know what's sad? - Hmm?
现在是我们颜值的巅峰
Right now's the best we'll ever look.
我不同意...
I disagree with--
你说得对我们无法扭转这个局面
You're right, we're not turning this thing around.
我们正在慢慢变老
We're on a luge to death.
也许这就是我们如此忘乎所以的原因
Maybe that's why we got so carried away.
但是只要我们真心相爱
But you know what? As long as we're into each other,
那就没事但如果再来一局恶魔打嗝/fs14[游戏]
We're good. Although, one more of those demon burps,
这座纸牌屋就要塌了
and this house of cards tumbles.
这一点都不好
It's not good.
如果我在慢慢老去
Well, if I have to get old,
很高兴能与你一起慢慢变老
I am glad that I get to do it with you.
让我们对彼此诚实一点
Let's just be honest with each other, please?
别再有「拍肉肉」别在厕所偷吃东西
No more Fat Pats, no secret bathroom eating.
厕所蛋糕吗
Oh...toilet cake?
那些蛋糕哪儿来的
I mean, where does the cake come from?
他偷偷带进去的吗
Does he sneak it in there?
还是他在厕所藏了蛋糕
Or does he store the cake in the bathroom?
有些秘密永远也解不开
Some mysteries are never meant to be solved.
你们就非得挂着这照片
You had to put it up.
抱歉你没得到想要的完美照片
We're sorry you didn't get the perfect photo,
但你看起来确实是个很能干的女人
but you do look like a very capable woman.
闺蜜身边的好卫士[防止喝醉后被男人带走]
Capable of guarding a bridge.
闭嘴格瑞夫
Okay, you know what? Shut up, Griff.
我不在乎你怎么想
I don't care what you think, 'cause someday
因为20年之后我再看到这张照片
20 years from now when I see that picture
我会想老娘当年真性感
I'm gonna think: "Damn, I was hot."
这么想就对了老娘
Yeah. That's the way to look at it, old girl.
你可是哈佛大学毕业的呢
Harvard.
虽然你没承认过但是我知道
I know you'll never admit it, but I know you
你很关心我我也很关心你
care about me and I care about you.
所以我要给你一个真诚的拥抱
So I'm actually gonna give you a sincere hug.
来了啊
Here it comes.
你是个好孩子
You're a good man, man.
晚安你好啊
Good night. Well, hey.
你看见了吗
Did you see that?
-我看见了 -你看见她摸我头发了吗
- I did. - Did you see the hair tousle?
她觉得你会秃顶
She thinks you're going bald.