糟心的我（2018）

I Feel Bad S01E03

Part 3 May 11, 2021, 9:15 a.m.

这是印度的风俗她为你自豪
Yeah, it's an Indian thing. She's proud of you.
-这感觉真的很好 -我知道我就说吧
- Feels really good. - I know, I told you.
看二十美元
Look, 20 bucks.
天呐看它就在那
Oh, God, look at it. There it is.
我们要复♥制♥那张工作牌才能上屋顶
We need to duplicate that badge to get to the roof.
安全没有人看着
Coast is clear.
周围确实没有人
I do believe we are clear.
等一下那是谁
Hang on, whoa, whoa, who's this?
别等等
Oh, no, wait.
真让人惊奇
Well, knock me down with a feather.
我以为你是从道义上就反对偷工作牌
I thought you were morally objected to stealing a badge.
我是反对这是错的
I am. It's wrong.
我来得早是为了在停车场偶遇新来的女生
I got here early to catch the new girl in the parking lot.
她停下她的斯巴鲁阳光照在她的鼻环上
She pulled up in her Subaru, sun dancing off her nose ring,
然后我就说早上好
and I was like, "Good morning."
她说你好戈尔曼
And she said, "Hey, Gorman."
那么亲近都不叫大名的
So close and not even a name.
听起来是她口齿不清
Yeah, well, she seems dumb.
我们这就干吧
So, okay, let's do this.
走走走
Okay, go, go, go.
我要做我的晨间伸展运动啦
Oh, just gonna do my morning stretches.
没什么奇怪的
Oh, nothing unusual about that.
就是照常做个早操
Doing my normal morning routine.
比我想象的刺♥激♥多了
That was way more chill than I thought it was gonna be.
瞧我们
Look at us.
像是詹姆斯·邦德和邦德的朋友
We're like James Bond and James Bond's friend.
白♥痴♥ 他们一无所觉
Idiots. They've got no idea.
多亏了那贴牌猜猜谁又早早到岗啦
Guess who made it in early again thanks to the sticker?
这家伙咖啡我请了
This guy. Coffee's on me.
警告你们都已经深陷在谎言之网中
Be warned, you're all tangled up in a web of lies
这网只会越来越紧越来越黏
that's just gonna keep getting tanglier and stickier
终有一日真♥相♥之蛛
until the spider of truth
将会从天而降而你们爱的所有人
descends on you and everyone you love
都将用悔恨之刺毒害你
and poisons you with the sting of regret.
我才不在乎
Yeah, I don't care.
我从图书馆的
I picked a book
高级阅读区挑了一本书
from the advanced reading list at the library,
因为我很聪明他们免费给了我
and 'cause I'm smart, they gave it to me for free.
他们对大家都免费的
They're free for everyone.
什么那他们怎么还没破产
What? How do they stay in business?
妈妈我要吃冰淇淋了
Mom, I'll take my ice cream now.
等等我们平时也能吃冰淇淋了
Wait, we get weekday ice cream?
你又怀孕了
Are you pregnant again?
没有
No, no.
我真不想扮这个恶人
Hate to be this guy,
但妈妈说过只有我们成了有等生
but Mom said we only get weekday ice cream
才能在平时吃冰淇淋
if we made the honor roll.
是优等生你这傻瓜
The H is silent, you little ding-dong.
这不公平
It's not fair.
我学习比他用功多了
I study way harder than him.
我才应该有冰淇淋吃
I should be getting ice cream.
抱歉莉莉
I'm sorry, Lily.
我会给你甜点的
Psst, I'll get you dessert.
虽然我不知道怎么给你什么时候给你
I don't know when or how,
但老天作证我会给你的
but, by God, I will.
不不不
Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
我们等下在床上一起看《美国之声》
We'll watch "The Voice" in bed later.
我爱你
I love you.
你觉得怎么样
What do you think, huh?
这身衣服是不是既显示出我为我家人自豪
Does this say, "I am proud of my family,"
又特别惹眼
but also, "Look at me"?
你是准备参加迟到的毕业舞会吗
Wow, are you just really late for prom?
这是为了明天的优等生授奖典礼穿的
It's for the honor roll ceremony tomorrow.
你没读学校的简报吗
Don't you read the school newsletter?
我读了读了好多遍
Yeah, I do, a lot.
我等不及要在INS上分享
I can't wait to Instagram my little Louie
我的小路易拿证书的照片了
receiving his certificate.
优秀妈妈想要
So does Number One Mama
和我明天一起去做个头发吗
want to have her hair done with me tomorrow, huh?
-我请客 -天哪
- My treat! - Whoa, man.
诺曼是对的我被网住了
Norman was right. I'm in a web.
人被网得这么紧时唯一能做的就是
When you're in this deep, the only thing to do is...
再陷得更深点
sink even deeper.
我知道我正朝灾难狂奔而去
I know I'm headed for disaster.
天哪这女人的手指有魔法
Dear God, this woman has magic fingers.
但我会摆脱这堆麻烦的
But I will get out of this mess
就在
right after...
这之后
thiiiiiiis!
我们核对一遍屋顶行动
Let's go through the checklist with things we need
需要的东西
for the roof mission.
工作牌
Badge?
-有 -好
- Check. - Okay.
一切准备就绪我们没什么遗漏的
Yeah, that's everything All right, we're good.
等等
Uh, hold on.
正直缺失
Integrity...not check.
老兄你知道吗
Oh, man, okay, you know what?
你可以和你的正直一起待在下边
You can keep your integrity down here,
但猜猜屋顶上有谁
but guess who's on that roof
是你那位穿鼻环的二货嬉皮姑娘
is your dumb nose ring hippie girl, mm-hmm.
-真的 -对啊
- You serious? - Uh-huh.
斯巴鲁女孩在运动部门吗
Subaru Girl is in the sports division?
的确想想看
She do. Think about it.
她可能会让你接近她
She might let you close enough
甚至于闻到她头油的味道呢
to taste her natural oils.
她不洗头
She doesn't wash. Ooh...
你为什么希望她这样
Why would you want her to?
见鬼我加入无所谓了
Damn it, I'm in. Whatever.
-棒 -我♥干♥了
- Yes. - I'll do it.
好小子
Good boy.
等等我想怪物设计又有心思路了
Well, I think we found our new creature design.
直接把它从埃梅头上哄下来就行
We just got to coax it off Emet's head.
闭嘴格瑞夫我陷得很深
Okay, shut up, Griff. I'm in deep.
学校有个优等生授奖典礼
Apparently there's an honor roll ceremony.
黑进路易学校系统有难度吗
How hard is it to hack into Louie's school?
我已经黑进去了
I'm already in.
-进去了真的吗 -不没有
- You are, really? - No, not really.
你以为我留了这么个坏蛋胡子
You think I'm going to hack into a children's school
还会去黑小孩的学校吗
with this predator stache?
美杜莎似乎有一只真理之蛛
Well, well, well, Medusa, seems like a little spider
爬下来找你了
might have climbed down and visited you.
是时候对你儿子坦白了
It looks like it's time to come clean to your son.
这是个玩笑吧
That was a joke, right?
你说笑吧因为这简直是发疯
You are joking, yeah, because that is madness.
三天前坦白
I mean, sure, yeah, maybe three days ago,
那还行没问题
absolutely fine, hunky dory.
但现在太晚了
But not now. It's too late.
小路易他会崩溃的
I mean, little Louie, he'll be crushed.
至于你妈妈
And your mum?
她接下来几年里都会想要你的命
Well, she's gonna have ammo on you for years.
你已经陷进去了
No, you are trapped.
出不来了你陷进去了该死的
There is no way out. You're trapped, damn it!
抱歉这个屋顶行动
Sorry, this whole roof mission thing
让我神经特别紧张
has got me really on edge.
他是对的
He's right.
只有一个选项
There's only one option.
我只能离家出走
I have to leave my family.
或者你也可以收买♥♥你的孩子
Or you could just buy your kid off.
我也可以收买♥♥我的孩子
Or I could buy my kid off.
我们不能收买♥♥我们的孩子我们得坦白
We can't buy our kid off. We have to come clean.
那就去跟那小可爱说
Oh, oh, sure, let's go tell that sweet face